NCIS has no meaning beyond tiva. They are my favorite couple. What we saw in "Family First" was horrible. I had to write this fic about Tony's broken state of mind and how he finds solace.

NCIS doesn't belong to me, though I wish it did.

McGee's caller id flashed on Tony's cell. Tony received it.

"work done. Check your e-mail."

"thanks McGeek. I see the MIT education is paying off."

"um…Tony. How's Tali, how're things?"

"Tali has been better. She's taking her nap right now. Feeding her green peas was tedious job though. I wonder how Ziva managed everything on her own these years. I miss her and I need her, Tim… Bye, I've gotta sort some matters "

Earlier that day Tony had asked Tim to find a way to get into Ziva's e-mail. For he needed to find some answers, some answers that would provide him solace.

What he on saw opening the attachment was unbearable. Ziva had drafted four unsent mails to tonydinozzoncis . She perhaps once thought about communicating with him. She had been just one step away from. The 'send' button step. But what stopped her?

To: tonydinozzoncis

Subject: I'm pregnant

Dear tony,

Give my regards to everyone- McGee, Abby, Palmer, Ducky and Gibbs. I cannot say how I miss all of you.

I have been conflicted about writing this mail. I'm pregnant tony, with your child. We know what happened after the orange grove. I loved every infinitesimal second of it. Two weeks ago, I missed my period and it was only today I realized I was pregnant. And I seriously want to have this baby. But I'm quite nervous and confused right now.

If you could come here things would have been easier.

With love,

Ziva

Words could not describe Tony's regret when he read this. If only Ziva had hit the send button. Things would have been right, he did not have had to miss any part of Tali's childhood. A strong feeling swept over him. 50% regret; 25% anger; 24% sadness and 1% of something he did not know.

He would have rushed to her the second he got the email.

He remembered the Mossad Director's words that was precisely why Ziva didn't tell you.

As if it was Ziva's decision to make? Now see where it got both of them- Ziva is…no more and Tony left to care for their toddler daughter whose existence was unknown to him till that day.

Curious to know what else Ziver wrote to Dinozzo? Its en route. I a probie at this stuff. So, I need some encouragement from ya'll. Please write reviews. Constructive criticism welcome.