Hell-ell-ell-ell-o! This one is dedicated to my fabulous boyfriend Josh, who absolutely loves The Big Bang Theory.
"Alright, why don't you tell me what all he said." Howard hands a beer to Raj, sitting on his couch.
His best friend had volunteered to help with Halley since Bernadette has to be gone on a weeklong business trip. He has been looking in Sheldon and Leonard's building for vacancies, but this is the break he needs. A lot of his things are in storage, but Cinnamon is over at the Wollowitzes.
"He said girls don't like me because I'm needy and I'm whiny. And because I'm a pushover."
"Well, we could work on that, y'know." Howard replies. "What do you need help not being a pushover with? What should we start with?"
"Uh, shopping. I make these lists for my housekeeper and I add these weird things on the list because someone tells me about them."
"Wow, uh, okay. Let's go to the kitchen."
Raj follows Howard to his kitchen, to find him tying on an apron and opening the cabinets. Raj sighs as he moves over to stand by Howard, but his friend steers him to the table instead. Howard works up a falsetto tone and turns to Raj with a box of noodles.
"Oh, Rajesh, these were superb. You need to get these again."
"Okay."
"No, Raj." Howard drops back to his regular voice. "Pushover, remember?"
"Right, sorry."
After two hours of this, Raj can finally say 'no' to adding unnecessary items to the grocery list. The boys are exhausted, but Leonard texts them, asking if they want to come over for pizza night. Raj is tempted to say 'no', but pizza night also means Halo night. They reply they'll be right over with Halley. At Leonard's, the boys play Halo while the girls – Penny and Amy – chat about them, eating pizza at the kitchen island. Leonard and Penny walk Sheldon and Amy out while Howard and Raj get the baby from the back room. They are talking about another pushover business.
"Like, in bed." Raj tries to explain but does so awkwardly. "Like, she flirts and stuff and wants to take things farther, and I just want to talk."
"So, tell her 'no.' Just look her in the eyes and tell her no."
"I can't."
"Let's try this." Howard climbs onto the bed and brings back his falsetto voice. "Ooh, Rajesh. These sheets are so soft. Don't you wanna climb in with me?"
"N-no?"
"Is that a question, Baby? Let's get under these sheets and make some hot memories."
"No," Raj replies quietly. "I don't want to."
"C'mon, Koothrapoli." Howard crawls seductively toward the edge of the bed. "Let's start our engines, hot stuff."
"I don't want to have sex with you!" Raj shouts suddenly, jumping from the end of the bed.
"Why not!?" Howard shouts, no longer in his falsetto voice.
The two men stare at each other in disbelief. They are no longer in character. Raj's lips are pursed, the rest of his face in confusion and slight hurt. Howard's mouth keeps opening and closing like a fish, unsure of what to say or do.
"I wasn't expecting, that response." Raj finally speaks, sitting back on the end of the bed.
"Yeah, um, me neither." Howard blushes, settling down behind his friend.
I love you, Babe! Happy Valentine's Day!