I had to channel my anger somewhere. Seen 5x10 promo yet? It is a DISGUSTING joke.

I had to cause Olivia some pain and rid Fitz of his heartbreak. Let the man have some peace, somewhere...

** Please read the A.N. if you want to understand the author's point of view. **

A.N.: I have received some comments asking why Fitz had to die, how I could let that happen. Let me explain...

I have been a crazy Olitz fan. Even though I am against cheating, I rooted for them because their love was so real, pure, extraordinary. I believed that they deserved each other, society and its rules be damned! They found their paradise on earth, who am I to not want them to live in it?

However, the way Olivia is written on the show (in the last few episodes) is despicable. She does not deserve Fitz. Yes, one day they could realize their mistakes and get back together (I have a story featuring that too. I will have more in the future.) or Fitz can move on.

The first option is what we all want, what we all crave, but life is not all fairy tales, it just doesn't happen sometimes.

The second option is what half the Fitz fans want. People don't want him to suffer anymore so if he finds someone else who makes him happy, so be it.

But here is the more personal note: I have been in a situation similar to Fitz's. Well, I am a woman, but the feelings and the situation still applies. Of course I am not the POTUS, obviously, and neither of us was married, but everyone has their own constraints in life, and sometimes they make things almost impossible. I moved mountains for him. We were just like Olivia and Fitz. Soul mates, pure love... At least that's how it looked and felt. But after a long time fighting with the odds, one day he just left me all alone, in the middle of everything.

After 2,5 years of therapy, I came to a point where I don't want him anymore, where I don't think about him every day, where I don't live with a constant, piercing pain in my heart, so yeah moving on is possible, but... It is hard work.

In those 2.5 years when I was trying to heal, the pain was so unbearable that I prayed to die many times. Healing is possible, growing is possible, but they are painful. So, I wanted a divine intervention, for God to say this is enough and take me. So this little story is a look into that option. Don't be angry with me.

"You suffocated me. You suffocated me so much that I had to run away! I had to get an abortion and run so I wouldn't have to let go of who I am!"

"What?" he asked in disbelief. "You..."

He gasped and shook as if he was hit in the chest. He was dizzy so he tried to reach for anything to hold on to. When his hand reached the table, he leaned towards it. His eyes were no longer on her. They were empty, looking at an invisible spot.

In that spot was a house built with love, for love. In that spot was a woman for whom he'd done everything for. A woman with the most beautiful brown eyes you'd ever see. He could see her hands when she was picking boysenberries. She was wearing Doux Bebe on her left forefinger. On the ring finger was another ring, sparkling. He could swear she was an angel... An angel with the most amazing glow... In that spot was a sweet little girl with honey skin and big brown eyes. She was in her play pool with Teddy. In that spot was a boy with blue eyes and black curls. He was following his mom with a basket in his hand. In that spot were Karen and Gerry, sitting on the swing, giggling. He could smell jam. It was a warm summer day, he could feel the sun.

He didn't feel the tears rolling down his cheeks. He didnt hear Olivia ranting about how horrible it was to be in the White House for her. He didn't realize the pain in his left arm. He was so transfixed, so lost... He was so wrapped up in the scene that was playing out before his eyes.

The summer sun, along with the smiles of the gorgeous woman and the beautiful children were warming his heart. He didn't remember anymore that he was in the Oval. He didn't hear Olivia yelling at him with disdain in her voice. He didn't realize that his right hand slowly went to his heart, that he lost consciousness... He didn't realize... All that was, and all that mattered was the scene in front of him. The most beautiful scene anyone could ever see.

There was no heartbreak, no lies, no pain, no regrets, no betrayals. They were all gone.

"Fitz?" Olivia said with a questioning tone when she realized that his eyes were empty, fixed at a spot. It seemed like he was not listening to her.

He was leaning against the table. When he didn't respond, she called for him again, "Fitz".

When his hand went to his heart, she was worried, because his forehead was contorted with pain, tears were washing his face.

Then he had a look of... peace... and he fell on the floor, almost in slow motion. She ran to him, not sure what was happening or what to do.

"Fitz!" she exclaimed. His eyes slowly closed.

"Charlotte" she yelled. "Charlotte call the doctor!"

The doctor was in the office within a minute and he realized that Fitz had no pulse.

"Cardiac arrest. We have to get him to the hospital!" He yelled at the the agents while starting heart massage.

Within a few minutes they were in James Madison, the doctor on top the gurney, trying to get Fitz's heart to beat again.

They tried to bring him back for the next 2 hours. She could hear people yelling, "charge to 200... another dose of epi..." She was standing right outside the room.

Then it went silent. "Time of death 21:56", one voice said.

He was gone.

I loved Olitz. I can't bear seeing what has become of them. And I feel for Fitz.