AN: So this is a little one-shot I wrote before "Glee, Actually" aired, so it doesn't exactly stick to that storyline. This is mostly what I wish would have happened between our two favorite boys.
I don't own Glee, or any of the characters.
Kurt sighed happily as he walked past Radio City Hall, arm in arm with his dad, who had come to surprise him in New York for Christmas. He had told Burt that he wasn't going home this holiday, forgetting to mention the real reason behind his reluctance. Despite having partly made up with Blaine, he was still hesitant to see him again so soon. Burt had sadly accepted his refusal, although he knew why his son didn't want to come home. He had immediately started planning his surprise for Kurt.
"I can't believe you managed to fly up here," Kurt said, a huge smile across his face as he looked at Burt. "It's the best Christmas present you could have gotten me."
Burt chuckled. "Good, cause I probably wouldn't have been able to afford anything else you might have wanted," he teased, earning a smack in the arm from his son. "Hey now, I'm just kidding! Besides, the surprise isn't done yet." Burt pointed up ahead, and Kurt glanced to see where his father was gesturing.
"Bryant Park?" Kurt asked, puzzled. "Why are we going there?"
"I remember back in the old days, during winter, there was one thing you always wanted to do, but you hardly ever got to do it. So, I figured, what the heck? Might as well let my son go-"
"Ice skating?!"
Laughing at how Kurt was suddenly bouncing up and down with excitement, Burt nodded. "Yep. Ice skating."
Kurt gave a little squeal and launched himself at his dad, hugging him so hard that Burt started patting his back, letting him know that he was having trouble breathing. He let go quickly, a slight blush on his cheeks, yet he was grinning like a child on- well, on Christmas. "Dad, you are the best! I can't believe this! I haven't been ice skating in years! Oh, I can't wait! Come on, Dad, hurry up!" And with that, he was off, running at full speed towards the park.
Shaking his head and chuckling, Burt followed after his excited son at a much slower pace. He made sure Kurt wasn't looking before he pulled out his phone, checking his latest message. Smiling at what he read, he slid the device back into his pocket and walked into the park, feeling almost as excited as Kurt, for different reasons.
Made it to the rink. Ready when you are.
Kurt could barely contain his excitement. He was practically shaking, though whether it was from his happiness or just the fact that it was cold, he couldn't really tell. Whatever the reason, it made putting on ice skates a rather difficult job.
"Geez, kid, calm down. You're never going to be able to skate if you can't even put on the shoes," said Burt, watching his son with amusement.
"Sorry," laughed Kurt, calming himself down long enough to tie a sufficient knot in his laces. "I'm just really excited about this."
Burt smiled, his heart warming at the sight of Kurt looking so happy. Hopefully he'll still look that way in a few seconds, he thought to himself.
Holding on to the table for balance, Kurt stood up from where he was tying up his skates and eyed his dad in confusion. "Dad... why aren't you putting on skates?"
"Oh," Burt said, "I'm not skating with you."
Kurt raised his eyebrows. "What? You're going to make me skate by myself?"
"Now, why would I do that? Of course I won't!"
"Well then, why aren't you wearing any skates?"
"Because I'm not skating."
"But you just said-"
"Package for Kurt Hummel!" said a new voice behind him.
Kurt froze. He knew that voice. He knew that voice extremely well. But there was no way... he was imagining it. He had to be. Kurt glanced at Burt, seeing the smug look on his face, before slowly turning around to face the owner of the voice.
And there he was. He looked good; really good. Better than when he last saw him, when he just seemed... broken; no light in his eyes, no confidence, no smile, no anything. Now, he looked like he used to: hair gelled to perfection, that twinkle in his eyes, that radiant smile that always took Kurt's breath away.
"Blaine..." Kurt managed to whisper, still in shock from seeing his ex-boyfriend. Seeing him here, in New York. Blaine smiled even wider, showing his perfect white teeth and flashing him a wink. And in that moment, Kurt knew he'd been wrong. He'd been wrong to be scared of going home. "Blaine!" Kurt cried, much louder this time, and with a giant smile of his own, he threw himself at the other boy, wrapping his arms around Blaine's neck and pulling him in close.
"Hey," Blaine laughed in his ear, snaking his arms around Kurt's slim waist and hugging him back. Sighing happily, he took in a long breath, loving how Kurt smelled of coffee, cinnamon, and just Kurt. He'd missed this; missed being able to hold Kurt in his arms and just have him close. His heart swelled when he felt Kurt tuck his head further into his neck, content with just standing there forever with his love in his arms.
All too soon, although he seemed rather reluctant, Kurt stepped back, sliding his arms down Blaine's shoulders, resting them on the other boy's upper arms. "What are you doing here?"
Blaine shrugged lightly, a small grin still on his face. "Your dad invited me."
Kurt turned sharply to look at his dad, whom he had momentarily forgotten. Burt, for his part, did not look ashamed at all. On the contrary, he seemed pretty pleased with himself. Kurt raised one eyebrow at him before turning his attention back to Blaine, who he now realized was on the ice skating rink, in his own pair of skates.
"I told you you wouldn't be skating alone," Burt said. "Now, you boys go ahead, I'll just sit here and watch." He gave them a small wink before sitting himself down at the table Kurt had just stood up from.
"Come on," Blaine said, holding out his hand. "Ready to have some fun?"
Kurt hesitated, staring at Blaine's hand. He seemed to be debating something in his head. Blaine clearly noticed.
"Kurt... I'm just here to have a good time with my best friend," Blaine whispered, looking straight into those blue eyes he loved so much. "I just... I miss you. And I promised that last year would not be our last Christmas together."
"You promised a lot of things, Blaine," Kurt said quietly, dropping his gaze to stare at his shoes.
Blaine sighed. "I know. But it's just one night. One night where we can just forget about what happened, and just be two friends enjoying each other's company on Christmas."
Kurt raised his eyes back up to stare into Blaine's face, seeing the hope in his eyes. He couldn't crush that, not on Christmas. And besides, he missed Blaine, too. One innocent night couldn't hurt, right?
"Okay," he said, smiling.
"Okay?" Blaine repeated, his eyes wide, as though shocked that Kurt said yes so quickly.
"Yes, Blaine!" Kurt laughed, sliding his hand into Blaine's still outstretched one. "Lead the way, my good sir!"
Chuckling, Blaine pulled Kurt gently out onto the ice, carefully pulling him along until he got some momentum going. As soon as Kurt seemed to be okay, he let go of his hand and drifted next to him as they slowly made their way around the rink, making small talk and telling each other stories they hadn't been able to share since their break up.
Christmas music could be heard, recognizable classics and new hits drifting around Bryant Park. Blaine and Kurt hummed softly to the songs they knew, still moving at a calm, steady pace, just enjoying each other's company. After a while, Blaine slowed down, a smile growing on his face as he turned to Kurt, a gleam in his eyes.
"What?" Kurt said slowly, eyeing him suspiciously.
"Sing with me."
Kurt blinked. "What?" he said, louder than before, catching the attention of a couple skating past them at that moment. Lowering his voice, he leaned towards Blaine and whispered, "Are you insane?"
Blaine shrugged. "I wouldn't say insane. More like..." He leaned in closer to whisper softly in Kurt's ear, sending a shiver down Kurt's spine. "...spontaneous."
Kurt snorted, trying to calm his breathing down, which had sped up when Blaine had been so close, his warm breath ghosting over Kurt's skin. He couldn't believe that after everything that happened, Blaine could still have that effect on him. But Blaine didn't seem to notice, or at least he didn't draw attention to it, because the next second, he skated away towards the man who was controlling the music. After a brief conversation, Kurt saw the man nod enthusiastically and give Blaine a quick thumbs up before switching songs. Blaine shot Kurt a triumphant, mischievous smirk before turning to skate backwards so he could stare at Kurt while singing. Pretty soon he began to sing a familiar, yet more upbeat tune.
I'm dreaming of a white Christmas
with every Christmas card I write
May your days, may your days, may your days
be merry and bright
And may all your Christmases be white
Whoa whoa
Kurt rolled his eyes, watching Blaine slowly make his way towards him, knowing he wouldn't be able to escape this. Shooting his ex one final glare, he skated faster, joining in with perfect harmony.
Oh I'm dreaming of a white Christmas
with every Christmas card I write
As they reached the middle of the rink, Kurt slipped slightly, and Blaine automatically reached out to catch him. Staring into each other's eyes, their duet slowed down appropriately, the air between them feeling suddenly tense.
May your days be merry and bright
And may all your Christmases be white
Kurt looked into those hazel eyes as they sang, feeling warmth flowing through his body. He inhaled sharply as he saw Blaine leaning towards him, but immediately felt disappointed when the other boy skated away from him, throwing Kurt a smile over his shoulder. Kurt huffed, annoyed at himself for hoping for something more. Get over it, Kurt, he thought to himself as he followed Blaine.
I'm dreaming of a white Christmas
Their duet ended quickly, and the skating rink erupted in applause. Shocked, the boys looked around to see that they had an audience. None of them seemed to be annoyed that two boys had just sung a duet together in the middle of an ice skating rink; they looked like they had enjoyed the performance. Smirking, Blaine turned to Kurt as if to say, "I win."
"Oh, shut up, Anderson," Kurt snapped, although he wasn't able to hide a small grin. He hated to admit it, but he did have fun singing with Blaine again.
Blaine skated closer and wrapped his arms around Kurt again. "Thank you."
"For what?"
"For skating with me. For singing a duet with me even if it was a bit embarrassing for you. For not completely rejecting me tonight. Just... thank you for being my friend."
Kurt was left speechless. He was glad his face was hidden from Blaine's view because he knew he must look very torn. If he was honest with himself, he didn't want to be Blaine's friend. He missed being able to cuddle with him, singing flirty duets together, kissing him whenever he wanted. He missed being Blaine's boyfriend.
He knew what he felt in the middle of their duet. He recognized that feeling of knowing that Blaine was the one for him, the only one he would ever want. But he just couldn't tell him that, could he? Not now, not right after they had just started being friends again. "Blaine, I..." he started, before hesitating.
Blaine stepped back a bit, a curious expression on his face, his eyebrows raised, inviting Kurt to continue.
"Never mind, it's not important..."
"No," Blaine said quietly, "you can tell me."
Kurt bit his lip, not knowing if he should take the risk or not. He sighed and dropped his gaze to his feet, a blush creeping up his face. Come on, just tell him.
And then he heard his voice, barely audible in the noise surrounding them.
"You can trust me."
Kurt's eyes shot back up to Blaine's face. The other boy seemed wary of how Kurt would react to his last words, but at the same time he appeared to be glad that he had been able to say them in the first place. His mind flashed back to a couple of months ago, when he was standing in a familiar hallway, across from a heartbroken Blaine, saying the words he never thought he would say to the love of his life: I don't trust you anymore. It had killed him to confess that, but it had been true. Blaine had broken the trust they had built when he gave himself to someone who wasn't Kurt. But now, staring into Blaine's eyes once again and seeing the sincerity in them, Kurt didn't feel so unsure anymore. He knew that Blaine was sorry for what he did, it just took a while to get over the shock and the pain.
"I- I'll tell you later," Kurt said. Seeing the doubtful look on Blaine's face, he added, "I promise."
Blaine looked a little disappointed, but he nodded and offered Kurt a smile. Feeling rather confident, he slipped his hand into Kurt's and started to skate back to where Burt was sitting. Well... had been sitting; he wasn't anywhere to be seen. The boys looked at each other, confused. Kurt was about to pull out his phone to call him when they saw him coming towards them, holding what appeared to be a cup of coffee in one hand. When Burt saw that they were back, he grinned. "Tired already?"
"Not really. Although I'm getting a bit cold. I'm ready to go home, make some hot chocolate, and cuddle up under a warm blanket," Kurt replied. "Where did you go?"
Burt shrugged. "Just went to grab some coffee." His answer seemed innocent enough, yet they could both see the rather mischievous look in his eyes. Clearly he saw them interacting and wanted to give them some space.
"Right," Blaine said slowly. "Well, um... I guess I'll head to the hotel..."
"What? You're staying in a hotel?" Kurt asked incredulously.
"Well, yeah. I mean, I still need to go check in, but-"
"Nuh uh. You're both coming to stay with me. I'm not gonna force you guys to sleep somewhere else when I have a perfectly nice and spacious apartment. Besides, Rachel's gone for the week, and I don't really like staying there by myself. It'll be nice to have some company."
Blaine looked uncertain. "Are you sure, Kurt? I'm okay with staying-"
"Blaine," Kurt interrupted firmly. "You're staying with me."
They stared at each other a little longer, Kurt glaring and Blaine looking conflicted. Finally, Blaine sighed. "Fine, you win..."
Kurt smirked as he grabbed the other two each by an arm and started in the direction of his apartment. "Don't I always?"
"Well, I think I'm ready for some rest. Airplane rides take it out of me," Burt announced after a little while of the three of them sitting comfortably on the couch, him and Blaine watching the football game while Kurt, after a few seconds of trying otherwise, reading one of his many copies of Vogue.
Kurt pouted. "But it's only 10 o' clock!"
Burt chuckled at his son's childlike reaction. "Only? I know I may not look it, but I'm getting old. And old people need their sleep."
"Fine," Kurt sighed dramatically. "I guess you do need your rest. Lack of sleep won't help your health any."
Rolling his eyes, Burt got up from the couch and slowly made his way into Kurt's makeshift bedroom, having lost the argument with Kurt about who would be sleeping where. After a long debate, Burt had finally given in to Kurt's insistence that he take one of the beds. Kurt, however, did not win against Blaine, who refused to sleep in Rachel's bed if it meant Kurt sleeping on the couch.
"Goodnight, boys," Burt called. "Don't stay up too late."
"Goodnight, Dad," said Kurt softly at the same time that Blaine replied, "Night, Burt."
Silence followed Burt's exit; neither of the boys knew what to say to each other next. Blaine kept his eyes on the TV, occasionally glancing at Kurt, who was still reading his Vogue magazines even though he probably had all of them memorized by now. The only noise left was the soft rumble of traffic outside the window, the quiet mumbling from the television, and the rustle of pages being turned.
After a while, Kurt heard the TV being turned off. He looked up to see Blaine putting the remote on the coffee table before turning to face Kurt. "I think we've had enough awkward silence, don't you?"
Kurt sighed in relief. "Thank goodness! I thought we were going to sit here all night until one of us fell asleep or died of boredom."
They both started laughing, trying to keep it quiet so as not to wake Burt. They didn't really know why they were giggling like this; the situation wasn't that funny. This realization seemed to hit them both at the same time because their laughter gradually became soft chuckles that soon faded away. Soon they were back to staring anywhere else but at each other, trying to figure out what to say next. Eventually, Kurt took a deep breath and said quietly, "Blaine, we need to talk."
Blaine finally made eye contact again. He stared into Kurt's eyes for a long moment, then let out a heavy sigh. "Yeah... yeah, we do."
"This is why we agreed to see each other. We can't just keep ignoring what happened, as much as we may want to."
"No, you're right," Blaine agreed. "I just don't know where to start... I don't think you want me to tell you again how sorry I am..."
Kurt shook his head. "I got that part."
"Then where do you-"
"Just start from the beginning," Kurt interrupted softly.
"A very good place to start," Blaine said after a pause, which made Kurt chuckle slightly at the Sound of Music reference. "Sorry, couldn't help it... Right. The beginning."
Kurt turned so that his back was against the armrest of the couch, drawing his knees up and wrapping his arms around them, letting Blaine know he had his full attention.
Taking in a deep breath, Blaine started. "I honestly don't have a good reason for doing what I did. I was just missing you so much. After a whole year of having you by my side constantly, it was almost unbearable. I guess I didn't realize how much I depended on you. And after what you said to me last year, that I wouldn't be alone even though you would be in another state... I just didn't expect to feel as lonely as I did." He stopped, and Kurt noticed a few tears starting to gather in his hazel eyes. Kurt almost told him that he didn't have to go on, to spare him, but Blaine continued. "And there you were, in New York, having the time of your life, meeting new people, moving on from your past life, and from me..."
His voice broke on the last part, and he sucked in a breath to try to gain control again. A tear slipped out of Kurt's eyes as he stared at his former boyfriend, his best friend. Blaine just looked so broken again, and as much as he hated what happened between them, Kurt still hated seeing Blaine hurting. Out of instinct, he reached out his hand and slipped it into Blaine's for comfort.
"Anyway," Blaine said, having gotten enough control to keep going, "I decided that since you were clearly doing well in New York, I should try to enjoy my senior year. I joined every club I possibly could, even some of the weird ones. I ran for Senior Class President with Sam as my VP, and we actually won... although it was mostly because Brittany just doesn't know how to give a heartwarming speech correctly. And seeing you so excited to share everything about New York with me, I wanted to do the same, but... you were just too caught up, I guess. After a couple of months here, how could you have any interest in your boyfriend's boring life down in Lima...?"
"Did you really think that?" Kurt asked quietly. Blaine looked at him questioningly, and he elaborated. "You really think I didn't care about you or what happened in your life?"
"Well," Blaine said slowly, "no, not exactly. But there was too much excitement and new possibilities here, Kurt. I understand why you ignored me sometimes. I understood too late, though."
Kurt's heart broke again as he realized just how much he had unintentionally hurt Blaine when he moved away. Guilt rose up in his chest, and he had to blink away a few more tears. "So... is that when you decided to...?" He trailed off, not wanting to finish the sentence.
Blaine sighed. "Yes. I mean, I didn't decide to do anything. I was just looking for some comfort, someone to hold me again, and since I couldn't have you..." He almost choked on his words again, but he had to finish soon before he completely lost it. "It was just a guy I met on Facebook. He kept complimenting me and stuff, and then one day he asked if I wanted to go over to his house, and I agreed without really thinking. I went over because..." Blaine didn't know what to say, so he just repeated what he had told Sam a few weeks ago. "Because I thought that maybe you and I weren't supposed to live the rest of our lives together... like maybe we weren't soul mates after all. But right after it happened, I knew that... we were."
At this point, they both couldn't control the tears anymore. Blaine dropped his head into his hands, not wanting Kurt to see how much pain he was really in. Kurt, on the other hand, let the tears fall freely down his face, unable to contain it anymore. Neither one said anything for a while, just allowed their emotions to escape. Pretty soon, Kurt couldn't help it; he slid over on the couch to Blaine's side and wrapped his arms around the other boy. Blaine stiffened, shocked at Kurt's boldness, but eventually relaxed and slipped his arms around Kurt's waist, burrowing into him.
They stayed like that, basking in the comfort of each other. It was just like they used to do when one of them was hurting, and they both realized how much they had missed it; how much they needed it.
"I forgive you."
The words were spoken so quietly that Blaine wasn't sure he had actually heard it. Blaine lifted his head from where it had been resting on Kurt's shoulder, staring at Kurt in complete disbelief. "You what?" he whispered.
Kurt just nodded softly. "I forgive you."
"But..."
"I think I forgave you a long time ago," Kurt admitted. "I just didn't want to believe it. I was in denial, I guess. But after everything we've been through, I just couldn't stay mad at you. I'm too in love with you to hate you."
Blaine blinked, still in shock that Kurt would just forgive him so easily after just an explanation. "Kurt," he said. "You don't have to do anything just because you feel sorry for me. I deserve it."
Kurt gave him a small smile. "I'm not doing anything because I pity you, Blaine. I really do forgive you." Before Blaine could protest again, he continued. "I'm not saying I'm ready to just go back to where we left off. I think that would kill any chances that we have left. But I am willing to accept your apology and just move on from here. Start over."
Blaine couldn't believe his ears. He was getting a second chance. Maybe not quite what he had foolishly hoped for, but it was a major step forward. He wasn't losing Kurt forever; Kurt was willing to let him rebuild their relationship. His relief was probably clear all over his face. "Kurt... you don't know how much this means to me."
"Oh, I have a pretty clear idea," Kurt teased. "You should see your face, Blaine. It's pretty priceless."
"Shut up," Blaine retorted, laughing at how easy it was with Kurt. It had always been simple being Kurt's friend. They had become best friends in just a few days back when they had first met. He just hoped it would always be like this, no matter what happened.
"Well," Kurt said after their giggles had died down again. "I think my dad's right; sleep is a wonderful thing. So I'm gonna head to bed." As he stood and started towards Rachel's room, he stopped and turned back to face Blaine. "You sure you don't want the bed?"
Blaine chuckled. "Kurt, for the last time, I'm taking the couch, and you're sleeping in Rachel's bed. Now go before I drag you there myself."
"Oh, I'd like to see you try, Anderson."
"Don't tempt me, babe."
Both boys froze, their eyes widening at the term of endearment that slipped from Blaine's mouth. Heat rose in Blaine's cheeks, a faint blush appearing in his face. He cleared his throat nervously. "Well, um... goodnight, Kurt."
Kurt shook his head slightly to recover from the flood of emotions that was going through him. He hadn't been called anything like that in a while now, and to be honest, he had missed it. But he couldn't say anything about it now. Instead, he just nodded at Blaine and mumbled, "Goodnight."
"Hey... Kurt?"
"Yeah?" Kurt said as he stopped at the foot of Rachel's bed. He poked his head out of the curtains dividing the space from the rest of the apartment, looking to where Blaine was about to settle into the couch with a warm blanket and the pillow Kurt had thrown to him.
"Didn't you want to tell me something earlier?"
Crap, Kurt thought. I forgot about that. What was he supposed to do? He couldn't just tell Blaine what he had felt during their ice skating adventure. They had just agreed to start from scratch. But he had promised to tell Blaine.
"I just... I just wanted you to know that I still love you," Kurt finally said, sounding genuine and sincere. "And that I always will, no matter what."
Blaine looked surprised at his words. That probably wasn't what he was expecting, but he seemed pleased because the next second he gave Kurt a huge smile. It was the smile that he reserved just for Kurt; the one that was filled with adoration, happiness, and just pure love. It always took Kurt's breath away, even now. "I love you too, Kurt. Always."
With his heart beating impossibly fast in his chest, Kurt nodded and made his way into Rachel's bed, burrowing under the sheets. As soon as his face hit the pillow, he let out the remaining tears left in his eyes, letting everything he was feeling out at last. He kept it quiet so no one else would hear him, and soon enough he had cried himself to sleep.
He wasn't quiet enough, however. Blaine heard his ex-boyfriend's soft sobs from where he was lying in the living room, and he couldn't help the tears falling down his own face as he thought about the last words Kurt had spoken to him just now. He still loved him. After everything he had put him through, Kurt still cared about him, and always would. Those few words made him feel the happiest he had felt in quite a long time. And it was this thought that sent him into a calm, peaceful sleep at last.
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