Title: Forever and Always

Rating: K+

Pairing: Alex Cabot/Olivia Benson

Author's Note: As you all know, these characters aren't mine. They belong to Dick Wolf and NBC.

Author's Note 2: Set sometime during season 14.

Author's Note 3: I'm sorry. (Based on "Forever and Always" by Parachute)

WARNING: MAJOR CHARACTER DEATH

.

You're sitting in the kitchen, staring at the clock above the sink. Dinner's sitting on the table, getting colder the longer you wait.

Alex should have been home by now or she should have at least called. It isn't like her to just leave you wondering where she is – even when she's wrapped up in a case, she sends you a text to let you know she won't be home until late.

You wait a little longer before abandoning dinner completely. You wrap up the plates and set them in the fridge; your cellphone still hasn't rung.

You look through the window, down at her parking spot, and your stomach is in knots. You call everyone you can think of to see if you can find her. "Haven't seen her," they all say. "Why? Is something wrong?"

You don't know, you can't tell. "Have her call me if you see her," is all you can say.

You look back out the window and your phone starts to ring. "Alex?" you answer.

"Detective Olivia Benson?" a voice says, and you know this call. "This is Doctor Mary Lincoln from Mount Sinai Hospital. I'm calling on behalf of Alexandra Cabot. Something's happened and we need you to come down."

Your stomach is in knots and your heart's beating out of your chest and you mumble some kind of affirmative answer (you think) before the tears start to fall.

You think back to December when she was on one knee, holding up a ring, and she said, "I want you, forever and always, through the good and the bad and the ugly. We'll grow old together."

The cab pulls up outside the hospital and you hastily throw some money at the driver. You walk up the front desk, and the doctor leads you down a never-ending maze of hallways. She's saying something about a car coming out of nowhere while Alex was crossing the street and internal bleeding and hemorrhaging and you aren't hearing anything but the blood rushing in your ears.

She stops at a door to a private room, and you try to keep a straight face as you step into the room.

Alex is lying in the bed, dwarfed by the size of the blankets and made even more pale by blood loss. Her eyes are open and she's looking at you with something akin to a smile but looks more like a painful grimace.

You sit by her bedside and grip her hand too tightly. "You remember our deal, right?" you ask. "You promised me a forever and always."

She breathes in, her whole body trembling. "I remember." Tears fall from her eyes and she squeezes your hand. "I always keep my promises."

You don't even try to smile because you know you can't. "We're getting married next month."

"I already chose my dress."

"We're going to have kids."

"A little boy with your hair and my eyes."

"And a little girl with your hair and my eyes."

"Don't forget our house, Liv." She closes her eyes, picturing the house they picked out.

"It's built on a hillside, surrounded by a large yard and plenty of space for the kids to run and the dogs to play." Your tears are falling steadily now and you don't bother with trying to stop them. "It's gonna be so good, Al. I can't wait to see it with you."

Alex smiles now and opens her eyes, her gaze travelling up to meet yours. "I love you, you know that, right? I love you so much that it makes me do crazy things." She pauses here and the only noises are the beeping and hissing of the machines. "I don't want to die without marrying you, Liv."

You press a kiss to her hand, and call in the nurses and the chaplain and the couple with the new baby from the next room over. "Let's get married," you whisper to her.

The chaplain says a few verses and everyone is crying and smiling. The couple hands you their rings, and you say, "I want you forever and always, through the good and the bad and the ugly. We'll grow old together, and always remember, whether happy or sad or whatever, we'll still love each other, forever and always."

You finish your vows, but the beeps are getting too slow and her voice is almost too low when she says, "I love you forever and always. Please just remember even if I'm not there, I'll always love you, forever and always."

You press your lips to her, and the beep changes to a long continuous noise.

End