Author's note: So, did anyone else watching All Falls Down Pt.1 suddenly look at Clare and Jenna and think, "what the heck? Why are you friends again?" Well, other than the fact that a load has happened since then and both girls have matured considerably since freshman year, I really wanted more of an explanation as to why they were suddenly friends again. So, I came up with this, for all of you out there who were hoping for a little bit of sweetness between these two ladies. It doesn't exactly fit into episodic canon, but I still wanted to put something out there that shows the mending of the fences. Hope you enjoy it.
Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi, but I do own what few OCs I have sprinkled here and about.
Oh, and PS: reviews MAKE MY DAY. Just go ahead and click on that button. Drop a line or two. Or three. Or four. Or…you know. As many as your little hearts' content. But please review nonetheless.
Spring was taking its sweet time coming to Toronto this year. Already the second week in April, yet the winter freeze still refused to abate.. The gentle Indian summer they had experienced after an unusually warm June, July, and August had suddenly given way to a fierce autumn chill that left the whole city feeling as bleak and grey as the landscape, and it didn't seem like it was going to relent anytime soon.
Clare leaned with her back against the cold brick wall of Degrassi, staring out at the nearly deserted schoolyard. Not the best day to go bare-legged, she decided, pulling her blue uniform jacket closer to her body as a gust of wind blew across the empty parking lot. As another chilled wind blew through the grey schoolyard, Clare sighed and checked the time on her cell phone. Detention was over in less than ten minutes, and if she didn't see Eli booking it to the door to relieve her of freezing her butt off out here in the cold, then she would…tie him to a chair and force-read him every Fortnight she owned. The thought of it made her grin.
A flash of green made Clare suddenly look up, a shock of color amidst the sterile afternoon. A bright green jacket, with blue jeans and a bright purple bag on the side. It took Clare a second for her eyes to adjust to the sight- like a splash of color on an empty canvas, or a flower blooming through hard concrete- when she realized she was staring at Jenna Middleton's retreating backside.
Even though she didn't want to do it, Clare found herself trying to spot it- the infamous Middleton/Guthrie "baby bump" that had the entire school talking for months now. For the most part, Clare had avoided any talk about it and avoided the gossip, not wanting to get in the middle of the latest school scandal.
Clare wasn't entirely sure what she thought of Jenna at the moment, to be honest. Last year, she had only felt completely betrayed and manipulated. And especially after Jenna had gotten K.C. to use her to cheat…well, let's just say any shred of neutral feelings she might have had towards the two of them still buried inside had pretty much run out the door.
And earlier this year, when Jenna had spread that rumor about her getting the breast augmentation- honestly, Clare Edwards? Getting a boob job?- Clare had pretty much gone from trying to ignore Jenna's existence to making it known that she had absolutely zero respect for her.
It wasn't that she hated Jenna. More like she just wanted her to know that she wasn't worth giving the time of day. Not worth her anger, and definitely not worth her hatred. And at the time, it had made her feel oh so good.
But now…
Now, though time and distance (not to mention Eli, even though it made her blush inside to think that) had shown her that while K.C. would always be her first boyfriend, her first kiss, that part of her life was over. Despite all the drama, she was over it. Life still goes on, and apparently, all three of them- Clare, K.C., and Jenna- all had as well. She had moved on past him, and had grown stronger because of it. She wasn't exactly grateful that she had had her heart broken, but it was more like she was grateful for the lessons she had learned from it. Like who to trust, who not to, and who wasn't worth the love she had inside her to give.
As it turned out, that was a lesson that apparently Jenna had to learn as well.
Clare knew the rumors going around the school. She knew that Jenna was pregnant, and that K.C. was the father. She heard that they hadn't used protection, had gotten stupid, hadn't been safe. And she also knew that Jenna and K.C. were no longer together, and while K.C. was spending more time with Bianca, Fitz, and Owen, Jenna more or less kept to herself.
Previously, Clare would have looked at someone like Jenna and thought that she deserved what she got. She had been to enough Bible studies on human sexuality and had taken enough sex ed courses to understand that if you don't use protection, you have an 85% chance of getting pregnant within a year. Besides, you put yourself at risk for all types of other things other than having a baby- STIs, a hell that Alli had already gone through and still scared Clare to think what might have happened to her friend had things not been in Alli's favor.
"Your bodies may be ready for sex, but that doesn't mean your minds aren't, "Mrs. Sauve had lectured them last year, when they were freshman taking the mandatory Health class required of all Grade Nines. "Just because you think you're ready for sex doesn't mean you actually are. Sex has a lot of consequences. Emotionally, there is a lot wrapped up in sex that you can't really understand until you've made the decision. And of course, there are the physical ones. Pregnancy. STIs. Remember, if you are old enough to make the decision to have sexual intercourse, be sure you're grown up enough to accept the consequences of your decision. It's an adult thing to do, and believe it or not, it has adult consequences."
Which was pretty much the mentality Clare had- if you're grown up enough to have sex, than you're grown up to accept the fact that you might have to deal with a major consequence of it, whether it be a sickness or a baby. And when she had first found out about Jenna's pregnancy, she hadn't had much sympathy.
But the reality of Jenna's situation had changed Clare's outlook. Jenna was all alone in this, and from what Alli had told her, K.C. was refusing to step up at all and help. While Jenna's brother was going to basically parent the child with her, Jenna was going to be a single mom in high school. And when Clare caught sight of Jenna plodding up and down the halls, one hand resting on her huge belly, she couldn't help but feel sympathetic. Life was just so hard sometimes.
A thud of a hard surface hitting concrete and a cuss word carrying through the cold, sharp air caught Clare's attention. Jenna had dropped a textbook and was trying her best to pick it up, awkwardly trying to maneuver around her round belly that no longer allowed her to jackknife at the waist.
Clare jogged across the courtyard to where Jenna was still trying to pick up her fallen geometry book. Without a word, she knelt to the ground, picked it up, and handed it to Jenna.
For a moment, neither said a word.
Jenna could barely meet her eyes. "Thanks," she said awkwardly.
"No problem," Clare replied. She paused for a moment, not knowing what else to do. "How are you feeling these days?"
Pretty stupid question, all things considered. She wasn't sure why she was even asking. Jenna glanced up at her, surprised. Clare was just as surprised as she felt. She wasn't sure why she asked, but it just didn't seem right to leave Jenna standing here all by herself in the cold.
"Pregnant," was the only response she had for Clare, bursting the bubble of silence between them. "I'm as big as a house. I can barely see my feet, I'm waddling down the hallways, my back is killing me, and to make my life even more fun, my backpack strap just broke, so now I have to carry all my stuff in my hands." She paused from her tirade, suddenly looking embarrassed as she hitched her one working backpack strap higher on her shoulders. "Sorry. You didn't come over here to listen to me complain about my own life." Her eyes trailed down to her belly.
Another awkward silence ensued. "So," Clare began, trying to loosen the knot between them, "Are you taking the bus home?"
Jenna shook her head. "No. Kyle was supposed to drive me to my OB-GYN appointment after school, but he couldn't get off of work, and we figured we're going to need all the extra money we can get with the baby coming, so I just said I'd take the bus." She suddenly glanced up at Clare, as if she wasn't entirely sure why she was telling her all of this. She then quickly slid her eyes back to the street.
Clare managed to sidle herself onto the edge of the bench, her bottom barely hanging over the edge. If Jenna was surprised by their suddenly close proximity, she didn't show it.
"How's the baby?" Clare asked abruptly.
"She's fine," Jenna answered, still sounding guarded. Clare couldn't exactly blame her. For awhile, the two girls sat in silence, Jenna still staring listlessly into the street and Clare looking down at her hands in her lap like there was something interesting there.
"Why are you talking to me?" Jenna asked, breaking the heavy silence between them.
"I don't know," Clare confessed. She didn't really have an answer for herself, either.
Jenna glanced up at her, surprised. Clare was just as surprised as she felt. She wasn't sure why she asked- it wasn't like she really cared- but it just didn't seem right to leave Jenna sitting here all by herself at this bus stop in the cold.
"I just wanted to see how you were doing," Clare said finally.
Jenna's eyes widened in disbelief. "Why?" she asked, truly confused. "You hate me."
Clare had a response in her head, but when she opened her mouth, she was surprised by what came slipping out.
"I don't have you, Jenna."
For a moment, their eyes met, and everything that had ever happened between the two of them hung in the inches of air between them.
"Well," Jenna said, "If I were you, I'd hate me."
"Well," Clare countered, "I'm not you."
Jenna rolled her eyes. "Luckily," she said dryly, glancing down at her belly. Unconsciously, Clare's did, too. Jenna placed a hand on it, sighing. "Looks like some good came out of me taking K.C. away from you. You definitely dodged a bullet here."
Clare was positive she never would have slept with K.C., but thought it was best to not get into that right now.
Jenna, however, seemed to read her thoughts. "Not that you would have done what I did. You would have been smart and used protection. Not been a moron like me. Or just not would have had sex at all. You're so smart, Clare-Bear. And a good girl. Not a stupid slut like me." Jenna's head hung down. "I'm so, so sorry, Clare. I never should have hurt you like that. I guess this is the universe's way of telling me I got what I deserved. Karma's a bitch, right?" Her voice cracked, and suddenly tears spilled over, quietly rolling down her face like they were in a race. Clare was reminded briefly of the way raindrops seemed to race each other down the glass of a car window, coursing down in a kamikaze flight.
Clare opened her mouth to respond, then promptly closed it again. Here Jenna was saying exactly what Clare had wanted her to say last year. She got just what she had wanted so badly back then, but now, watching Jenna sit here and cry at this dingy bus stop, one hand over her pregnant belly and her smudged mascara giving her the look of a blonde raccoon, it was too pathetic to give her any type of gratification. Instead, it made her feel vaguely sick.
She slid an arm around Jenna's shoulders. "You're not a slut," she murmured.
Jenna sniffed loudly. "Then at the very least, I'm a huge backstabbing bitch." Her voice broke again, and she started crying anew, her body wracking with silent sobs.
Clare didn't know what else to do, so she just kept an arm around Jenna, squeezing her shoulder as the girl that had broken her heart almost a year ago sobbed, heartbroken herself, on her shoulder. It was a little much to take in at the moment, so for awhile the two of them just sat there, Clare holding Jenna in a daze of disbelief.
After awhile, when Jenna's sobbing had slowed down, Clare jumped up from her perch on the end of the bench. "Come on," she told Jenna. "We're getting out of here."
Jenna glanced up at her. "I have my OB-GYN appointment."
"Then we'll take you there," Clare replied. "Just come with me. I can't just leave you here and know you'll be okay."
"You don't have to do that, Clare."
"I know, but…I want to." From the look on Jenna's face, Clare hadn't just surprised herself with the sincerity of her words. "Jenna, it doesn't matter who slept with K.C. and who didn't. But I don't want to just leave you to deal with this on your own. Let me help you."
Jenna stared at her, then stared at the ground, as if she wasn't sure what to say. More tears fell down her face, and the cold wind blew them in separate directions on her wet cheeks. "Thank you," she whispered, her voice low and hoarse.
Clare just nodded, a little overwhelmed herself. How was she going to tell Eli they were cancelling their plans to go hang out at the comic book store with Adam to take Jenna to an OB-GYN appointment? But she slid an arm around Jenna and helped walk her towards the school.
Eli was just coming out of the school' front doors, books in hand, when Clare showed up with Jenna in tow. Eli's eyebrows shot up in surprise, and his eyes slid to Clare for an explanation.
"Jenna needs a ride to the doctor," she explained in a hurry. Beside her, Jenna was silent, staring off into the distance as if she was afraid to make eye contact with either one of them. "Her brother was supposed to take care of it, but he had to work. I said we could drop her off there."
It was quiet for a moment. Much to his credit, Eli didn't bat an eyelash. "Sure," he said, his voice surprisingly warm. "We'll take you. No problem at all."
Sometimes, she really did love him.
Jenna finally glanced up at him. "Thanks," she said quietly.
Eli smiled gently. "Unless you mind riding in a hearse," he added.
Clare couldn't help but smile, and neither could Jenna. "Better than the bus," she said.
The three of them made their way to the parking lot. Jenna fell into step beside Clare and whispered into her ear, "You're a good friend, Clare-Bear."