Disclaimer: No, they are still not mine. Rizzoli and Isles belong to Tess Gerritsen, TNT and Janet Tamaro.

After I heard of the end of R&I after a short season 7, this came into my mind and wasn't willing to leave until I wrote it here.

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Birthday present

She was still a beauty – even with hair in silver now than the honey blond she once had. The teenage boy who moved her in her wheelchair was quiet, he knew his grandmother enough to know that she wasn't in the mood to talk –at least not to him or anyone else of the living.

Today it was her birthday, her eighty-fifth birthday to be precise. He knew that his parents planed a big party and that everyone would wait for her to appear but it was although the day of the month his grandmother comes here. Every month she comes here, except two month in the year. One time was the birthday of the person in the grave they were in front of, the other day the young boy couldn't connect with anything, nor could his parents. A couple of years ago, he had asked he why they were coming here and who that person was. His grandmother hadn't even turned her head and all response he got was "A friend."

As every time before, she asked him to leave. The part of the cemetery they were was thoughtfully reserved for law enforcement officers, that he knew and though, he wasn't astonished that the stone on this grave showed the word 'Detective' on top.

He looked over the engraved words while he turned to leave, 'Detective Jane Rizzoli, 1972 – 2017' was all someone engraved on it.

Nothing else, as if the people who wrote it thought that this would explain everything. Without any word, he left, he knew for sure that it would be futile to ask his grandmother anything – the only person she would talk to until she was ready to leave was the one in the grave.

It was nearly two hours later when he got a call from his mother to ask about their whereabouts. Hearing that they still were at the cemetery, he could hear her sigh.

"Try to make her come home, Tyler." His mother said, knowing as well as him that they only could ask her nicely. She still had her wits together, even when her body started to give up on her. His parents once tried to persuade her in coming by leaving her back – childish they had called her. She had refused to react to them as the left. The moment they came home, there was an unknown car in their driveway and opening the door, they were greeted by her – and two detectives who were sitting with her in the living room drinking coffee. She hadn't said a word but the small smile she gave was enough.

Dr. Maura Isles was still a force to reckon with. Tyler was sure that if his grandmother asked, there would still be a long line of marked and unmarked police cruisers to bring her wherever she wanted to be. Giving a sigh, he walked to his grandmother and he saw the tears still streaming down her face.

Hearing him walking over, she made the gesture she always made before leaving. Placing a kiss on her fingertips, she blew it away. After it, she turned to him.

"Bring me to this ridiculous party my son and my daughter-in-law already started for me!" She told him.

"Did you Google her?" She asked unexpectedly.

"Yes, she was a remarkable detective, shot and stabbed a couple of times in the line of duty. A highly decorated LEO and the sister of Uncle Tommy. She was killed by a murder suspect." He shrugged his shoulders. "There was a lot more as I remember."

The old woman gave him a nod.

"Most of it is right, only that she wasn't killed by that suspect." She told him. Taking a deep breath, she continued, "She was killed by me."

It took Tyler some time to accept what he heard.

"What do you mean? I mean there was a picture of the man who shot her and I saw the news clips to it."

"I once told you she was a friend." Maura started. "But I never told you that she was the love of my live. My fault was that I never told her. I was too big a coward to do it. Instead, I married your grandfather and broke her heart forever. Since the day I was married, Jane withdrew. Oh, we still were friends but we were never again this close as before and she became reckless. She took more risks than were necessary. You know that she was catholic?" It was the first time she looked at her grandson since she started to talk. When Tyler gave her a nod, she took a deep breath. "Suicide is a sin by church doctrine – still after all this years. Jane would never have eaten the smoking end of her gun, tempted as much as she may have been. Though she took the only way out that was there. You know, if a suspect wasn't willing to give up but was although not able or willing to kill himself, a lot did and still do things that a police officer shoots him. It is what we call 'Suicide by cop'. Jane did something similar – suicide by suspect. After it, I couldn't stay with your grandfather any longer. All I can hope for is that in case there is an afterlife, Jane will be able to forgive me because I can't do it."

After giving her confession to her grandson, Maura fell silent for the remainder of their drive home.

The party was what Maura had expected when she heard about it. Being insanely rich, there were a lot people over, many of them because 'you had to be there, seen and been seen'.

Only a couple of the people who came Maura appreciated to meet. As there were Tommy Rizzoli with Lydia, TJ with his wife and their twin-daughters, Nina Rizzoli with her granddaughter and a couple of former colleagues and artists. All in all a dozen people but beside them, her son, her daughter-in-law and her two grandchildren – would never have missed the other people.

As soon as they entered, the visitors greeted Maura; she got wishes for a healthy future (some even meant in earnest) and a couple of presents from the assembled.

Tommy, Lydia, TJ and Nina knew where she had been and the four of them only gave her a smile and a nod when she excused herself with a visit she could not miss.

After the end of the party, all the people were gone; it was time for the Rizzoli-Clan to leave too. At the door, Tommy fidgeted but finally drew something out of his back pocket.

"I wasn't sure if I should give this to you but I believe I have to. Though I would say, take it as a special birthday present. We sorted some stuff out of our cellar a while ago and one of the boxes we had there was from Jane. Inside I found a letter from her to you. From the date on the envelope, she wrote it two days before she died."

He handed the envelope to her shaking hands and with a final kiss on her cheek, he walked to the car his family was already waiting inside.

After the nurse helped her to her bed, Maura took the letter back at hand. On the envelope, written in a handwriting that was still familiar to her, stood in the left upper corner 'May the 4th, 2017' and in the middle 'Maura Isles – eyes only!'

Staring at it for a very long time, Maura finally decided to open it, took the folded piece of paper out and closed her eyes. Opening them, she started to read and while she did, she could hear the raspy voice of a certain brunette talking.

'Dear Maura!

I really hope that I can tell you the things I am going to write down here in person but I have a very bad feeling in my guts. Yes, I know, intestines don't have feelings. I can clearly hearing you saying it to me – crazy I know.

Why has it be so hard to say I'm sorry? I would love to hear your explanations, long and with details no one else would know.

I really am sorry for being such a coward and such a bad friend. If I hadn't been so cowardly, I would have told you some time ago that I am in love with you and if you weren't running for the hills screaming I would have you asked to marry me. But probably you would have said no to the question of being my girlfriend. Why? Because you are straight as we can see clearly. Why else did you marry Peter? Instead of staying at your side, I withdrew. But Maura – my heart bleeds every time I see the two of you together. My heart bleeds every time I know you go back to him and this is more than I can bear. I never got the chance to have the love of my life with me, thanks to my own stupidity and cowardice. Now I have to pay the price by suffering. Nonetheless, I have at least one time I can say the words I long to say to you. Maura, I love you, I love you as I am in love with you. I really hope that I will be able to say them to you in person but should anything happen to me with this wicked case; you will know it by this letter.

With all my love forever!

Jane'

For the first time in a long series of nights, Maura wasn't feeling as if she was lost. For the first time since long ago, she felt loved.

FIN