Oh god...The plot for this story...It's rather terrible. Hopefully being told in the perspective of an asshole will make it somewhat more interesting? No...I didn't think so...None of these character

Disclaimah: Not my shit. Kay? Rated T for incredibly strong language. I don't think it needs an M rating...But I'll let readers be the verdict of that. There's no sex. Yet. If you guys are keen on that...then...we'll see what happens.

Beware. OOC Silver.

Chapter 1- Cape-o-philia

"He wears a cape,"

"He's a wonderful man!"

"He wears a cape,"

"He's a great gentleman!"

"He wears a cape,"

"What does it matter that he wears a cape?" Lyra slammed her soda down on the table.

"Because it's stupid,"

"You're stupid!" Lyra flailed and pointed a finger at me. "Besides...I think it's attractive..."

I rolled my eyes.

"If you like homos..." I put a few coins on the table and started to get up.

"Wait!" I looked back to the marshmallow-hatted brunette. "Should I say yes?"

"Whatever you want. I don't care," I shoved my hands in my pockets and walked out of the diner.

Truth be told; I did care. More than I would have ever, ever liked. Something about the gravity defying pigtails and the wannabe plumber getup became more than bearable at some given point in time.

Of course, I'd never tell her that, even if I wanted to.

Because Lyra had a thing for pseduo-superheroes in capes.

I'd never wear a fucking cape. No matter how much she begged. And pleaded. And got on her knees...

I shook the rampant thought from my mind. Disgusted with my own subconscious, my scowl deepened. I shoved my hands even deeper into my pockets.

My Feraligatr popped out of its Pokéball without warning. The blue reptile sneered, mocking me.

"Oh shut up, you creature..." He continued to laugh at my pathetic state. Feraligatr's face seemed to say

"You're jealous of a red-head in a cape? Wow, you're a fag."

"I know I'm a fag!" I snapped. A mother with her child frowned disapprovingly in my direction. I ignored them.

The reptile cackled.

"Shut your face and get back in your ball!" With a final cackle, Feraligatr returned to its Pokéball.

My Pokemon have taken my assholish behavior as a sign of endearment.

"Crobat! I require your assistance!"

Crobat sneered at me as well. I scowled back at it.

"Take me to Blackthorn."

"Cro!" It seemed to say "Because you want to spy on Lance and Lyra? Wow. Feraligatr's right. You ARE a fag!

"Shut up and fly,"

I'm not pathetic. I'm not spying on a happy-go-lucky dumb broad and her soon-to-be superhero boyfriend. No. Not at all.

I just happened to run into the two at Dragon's Den. It's only coincidence that I'm hiding behind this conveniently placed boulder like a sneaky ninja.

I peered over the edge of the boulder to better see the caped-fool and the brunette.

"Lance...I thought about your offer from the other day..." Lyra fidgeted nervously rocking back and forth on her heels. Her Dunsparce, Daria, tried to keep itself from falling off her shoulder.

The caped-pedophile looked at her eagerly. This is against the law. I'd report it to authorities...If I wasn't wanted for stealing a certain blue reptile.

Lance anticipated her response.

"And..." Dunsparce flicked its tail suddenly in my direction.

"Sparce!" Lyra looked at the Pokemon alarmed. I dove behind the rock quickly.

"Hey!" Dammit. I'm not part ninja after all. I grabbed my bag and sprinted the hell out of there.

"Silver, dammit, get back here!"

I ran faster. I wasn't sure why I was running, Lyra isn't exactly intimidating. Nonetheless, I continued to sprint.

"Crobat! Get me the hell out of here!"

I attempted to chuck the ball into the air.

"Daria, headbutt!"(2&3)

Foe Silver flinched...

"God, I can't BELIEVE you!" An infuriated Lyra paced back and forth in front of me, flailing her hands about.

"Spying on me...what's your problem?" She jabbed a finger at me. "You creep! It's always been like this! I turn the corner, and when I least expect it, you're right there! And don't even get me started on the Radio Tower incident!" I rolled my eyes; She'll never let that one go, now will she?

"At least I'm not a pedophile..." I mumbled to myself. Lyra raised a brow, but said nothing, probably not fulling catching what I said.

I winced as my Sneasel iced my back. Damn Dunsparce...

"Snea..." It looked at me, then shook its head in pity.

The sliding doors of the Pokemon center squeaked open angrily, a sign of neglected maintenance.

"You!" Sneasel and I frowned and rolled our eyes simultaneously.

A black-clad figure with irritatingly red spiky hair sauntered into my field of vision.

"Gray-eyed child!" ...Gray eyed child? "I demand you leave Lady Lyra alone this instant! Your actions are completely out of line!" He grabbed my bag.

"What-" I tried in protest.

"You must be a part of the tabloids..." Lance concluded retardedly, shuffling through my belongings "Trying to get 'juicy gossip' on the Champion!"

I grimaced. I don't know what's worse- being accused of being a stalker, or being accused of working for a tabloid newspaper...

"Give me that!" I snapped, snatching my bag from Lance. "I'm not paparazzi...christ," I began to reorganize my bag.

"Then explain why you were spying on Lady Lyra!" Lyra crossed her arms, staring intently at me, awaiting an answer. Sneasel's eyes volleyed back and forth between the 3 of us.

"Sneasel snea..." It mumbled, then retreated to its ball.

I glared at the Cape-o-phile.

"Lyra is the only person I've met that I can talk to without feeling the need to roll around on broken glass. I don't approve of her dating someone twice her age. Because that, my good sir, is pedophilia,"

"Silver...I really just don't get you sometimes..."

"Who said I wanted you to?" Lyra gave me a look; not upset or hurt, but pity.

"What do you have against Lance?" Straight to the point, huh?

We were eating dinner at the Olivine City diner. Lance, infuriated that I had accused him of pedophilia, had sauntered off.

"Lyra, give me your answer once Silver has matured enough to accept our relationship" he had said.

Lyra was obviously mad at me for driving Sir Lancecock off.

Other than the fact that the guy wore a cape on a daily basis, I had no reason to hate him...

"Silver..."

"Everything about him," I mumbled.

Lyra sighed, exasperated.

"Silver. I appreciate the concern and all...But it isn't necessary." She smiled softly. "I can take care of myself."

I frowned.

"I'm not worried about you," I said flatly.

Lyra blinked.

"What?"

"I'm not worried about you. Why would I be?"

Lyra frowned.

"I see. Then, I guess I'll go tell Lance you've finally grown up." She smacked some coins on the table and collected her bag. "Let's go, Razputin,"(4) Her Espeon glared at me, and nimbly jumped from the table and followed its master out the door.

I smacked my head on the table.

I only told the truth. I'm not worried about her. I'm worried about myself. And what the hell I'll do once you're gone.

Author's Notes

1) No Capes is a reference to The Incredibles. Edna Mode, a designer for superhero suits, absolutely detests capes. They get in the way of everything, even causing the death of some heroes. Her famous line is "No capes!" following with a smack delivered with a rolled up newspaper.

2) Dusparce headbutting. For those of you who aren't aware, Dusparce has an ability called Serene Grace, which doubles the likelihood of added affects of moves occurring (May cause flinching...may cause confusion...etc) This ability is more often used with Blissey or Togekiss in competitive battling. But I like Dunsparce. It's so underused. Which is why I love it.

ANYWAYS. Headbutt has a 30% chance of flinching. With the Serene Grace boost, it doubles to 60% "Foe Silver flinched..." Make sense?

3) Dunsparce's Nickname- All of Lyra's Pokemon are nicknamed, and I try to make references out of them. Daria refers to Daria Morgendorffer from the Beaves and Butthead spinoff series, Daria. I have no reason behind why I named Dunsparce Daria, other than they share 3 common letters.

4) Espeons Nickname- Espeon is named after the protagonist from my favorite video game on the Play Station systems, Psychonauts. The game follows a 10 year old psychic prodigy by the name of Razputin, or Raz for short. Since Espeon is a psychic type, I thought it was fitting.