30 Facts About Alphonse Elric
Summary: Just what the title says. 30 well-known, or maybe not, facts about everyone's favorite kitty-loving tin can, gleaned from days of stalking him and his brother. Maybe.
Warning! Well…there's really nothing to warn you about this time.
Genre: Humor
A/N: I think I'm on some sort of roll. I just pop these out whenever they come to me (and if I can think of 30 facts that are funny enough out of context) This is my fourth one. The first 3 are about Seto Kaiba, Roy Mustang, and Yugi Moto. I might end up doing one for Ed, I dunno.
Alphonse Elric. Need I say more? What is there not to know about this insanely lovable walking suit of empty armor, and subsequently human person? Well, it might surprise you that Al's character is amazingly complex. But no worries. A peek below at the listed facts will tell you all you need to know about him!
In the proper time or situation, Al will/would…
1. Hide women in his armor.
2. Jump off a building.
3. Beat up a grown man.
4. Beat up a bunch of grown men.
5. Get beat up by a grown man.
6. Get beat up by a grown woman.
7. Beat up his older brother.
8. Watch a grown man and a minor beat each other up.
9. Get his head smacked off.
10. Get his head kicked off.
11. Get his head shot off.
12. Break a radio by standing up.
13. Have parts of his armor destroyed a lot.
14. Toss food down his armor.
15. Steal the town bell.
16. Draw a complicated transmutation circle in 0.02 seconds.
17. Be confused for his brother's dad.
18. Be kicked out of the operating room.
19. Lose the ability to blink.
20. But NOT lose the ability to make funny faces.
21. Trap a guy in a stone box so he blows himself up.
22. Make a huge geyser/fountain in the desert for a brief moment of refreshment.
23. Have the ability to hold a cuddly kitten in one arm and a screaming, thrashing minor in the other.
24. Dissolve a ravenously hungry creature's face.
25. Get stowed in the luggage area with sheep.
26. Pass himself off as demon-possessed armor.
27. Get turned into a bomb.
28. Get mysterious phone calls at night.
29. Lie about getting mysterious phone calls at night.
30. Leap out of the water like Free Willy.