Hey everyone!
So, after I getting such a positive response for Always Lock the Door and The Artist (thank yous and shoutouts for everyone who read/reviewed/favourited/alerted! It really means the world to me!), I've decided to turn them into a series, A Series of Awkward Events!
Basically, I'll be writing a series of one-shots in the style of Always Lock the Door and The Artist (which will both be making a reappearance in this series – more on that later), plus I'll be exploring the progression of Katniss and Peeta's relationship. It's set in the HG world, but all the characters are alive :)
Disclaimer: I do not own The Hunger Games, A Series of Unfortunate Events or any other material or references that are under copyright that is not owned by me.
Also, a quick mention about the rating – the first few chapters aren't M, but they will be later, so I'm putting it on M in advance :)
Well, that's enough talking! Hope you enjoy :)
It's a very pretty day in District 12 today. I've been hunting and made quite a bit of money selling off some game, so I'm in a good mood. I decide to take a trip to the bakery to buy some nice, fluffy bread rolls for dinner. I don't usually go there because it's a bit expensive, but boy, is the bread worth it.
I can already feel my taste buds salivating as I walk inside, smelling the delicious smell of processed wheat and baker's yeast. I approach the counter and see that Peeta Mellark, a boy from my class, is manning the till today. He's smiling – apparently he's having a good day, too.
"Afternoon, Katniss, what can I get you?" he asks.
"Some bread rolls, please," I say, a little distracted now.
Although I'd gone through most of my schooling with Peeta, I'd never really talked to him much. In fact, my memory of him hadn't seemed to have progressed much further than the 10-year-old boy who'd sat next to me in 5th-grade Math. He looked different now. Much different. He was taller and bulkier, and his face was quite hansom, really. I couldn't help but notice his arms and hands, thick and solid from all that dough-kneading and sac-throwing.
It takes me a few moments to realise that he's staring at me.
"What?" I ask, a little flustered.
"How many rolls would you like?" he asks.
"I'd like sex, please," I say.
Wait.
Did I just say what I think I said?
Oh no.
Oh no.
Peeta's looking at me with a funny expression, as are a few of the other customers in the shop. I notice with embarrassment that Oily Sae, the queen bee at District 12 High School, is holding onto every word.
"I'm sorry, what?" says Peeta, provoking even more feelings of mortification to rush through me.
"Six! Six rolls please," I reply, unable to think of anything else to say. I'm still in a daze as I walk out of the shop, clutching my bread rolls.
I manage to calm myself down a little as I walk home. Only a few people heard what happened. Peeta and I had never exactly been friends in the first place, so I wouldn't have to face him again if I planned my movements well enough. The only person who heard it who was our age was Oily Sae, and I tell myself she didn't care enough about the unpopular tomboy Katniss Everdeen to tell anyone about it.
As I arrive home, however, I realise that apparently I was wrong.
Madge and Prim are standing in the hallway, looking oddly sisterly with their matching blonde, ribboned ponytails, the same stern-yet-curious expression on their faces.
"Why did you ask Peeta to have sex with you?" asks Madge awkwardly, Prim nodding towards her in encouragement.
"Boy, does news travel fast around here or what?" I say. They're not going to be distracted that easily, though. They weren't going to let me go without an explanation.
"It was an accident," I say, cringing at how pathetic I sound.
"How do you accidently ask to have sex with someone?" asks Prim.
"I don't know!" I say. I was barely even able to process what had happened, let alone explain it to others.
"I don't quite know how it happened," I continue, "one minute, I'm ordering some bread rolls, then I'm noticing how he's grown since I last saw him, then he's asking me how many rolls I want and I'm saying sex instead of six!"
Madge and Prim are exchanging glances.
"Are you sure it wasn't your subconscious?" says Madge.
"What?"
"You know, maybe you've fallen in love with him and your subconscious couldn't resist the urge to fling yourself at him and make sweet, juicy love to him!"
I'm completely mortified, but apparently they're not done yet.
"Yes, that's a very viable notion," says Prim, "it's a hormonal thing, I think. Katniss, where are you in your menstrual cycle?"
"Oh my gosh, Prim! Seriously! Boundaries!" I cry.
"Calm down, Katniss," says Madge, who then proceeds to, in a vain attempt to conceal the action from me, whisper "PMS" to Prim, who quickly runs over to the calendar and puts a big red cross on today's date.
"You should ask him out," says Prim, giggling, but before I have the chance to whack her on the head with a pillow, I hear the front door closing, and Gale walks in.
Oh no. Please, please, please let him have not heard what Prim just said!
"Ask who out?" he says. Madge and Prim burst into endless giggles.
"Nothing," I say, trying desperately to change the subject, "What brings you here?"
"Well, word on the street is you offered your services as a prostitute to the baker's son," he says, an odd expression on his face.
"I course I didn't!" I say.
"I'm not judging, Katniss, you're free to do whatever you want. I just came here to let you know that if you're really that hard up for cash, I can lend you some if you need."
"Gale, I'm not a hooker!"
"It's true," says Madge.
"Thank you, Madge. There, do you believe me?" I say to Gale.
"She offered it for free," she continues, and she and Prim burst into another round of giggles.
"Really, Katniss? I didn't know you had the hots for Mellark," says Gale, that funny expression back on his face, this time magnified.
"I don't have the hots for him!" I shout.
"Oh, so you were wanting a bit of stress release? Ok, ok, this is making a bit more sense now. You know, Katniss, I'm sure I'd've been willing, if only you'd asked," he says. I'm unsure whether he's joking or not, but I'm beyond caring.
"Seriously, Gale, it was an accident!"
I run out onto the street, and shout it out for the whole world to hear.
"IT WAS AN ACCIDENT!"
Everyone on the street turns to look at me, and start chattering amongst themselves, no doubt about how the local hooker has now gone loopy.
Hmm, maybe not the most well-thought-out plan I could have made, but hopefully people might start seeing sense.
Out of the corner of my eye, I think I notice Peeta Mellark. But I blink, and he's gone.
It takes a good few weeks for the rumours to disappear, but things haven't been quite the same between me and Peeta. Despite my attempts at avoiding him, I'm noticing him near me more and more. One day, he even says hi.
Well, I certainly did have an icebreaker to remember.
I think next time I'll just stick to hello.
Please review! :)