Chapter 1: Jigsaw kills Edward Cullen
Jigsaw kills Edward Cullen
It was sunny day in town from movie twilight an everyone was happy and it was sunny so edward was in his home and he had sex with Bella Swamp! Otherwise he would catch fire and then explode because vampries don't sparkle in sunlight!
Suddenly, Edward Cullen said "I really have to shit!" so he stood up and went to toilet but suddenly, ninja with pig mask catched him and stabbed him with syringe.
Then, edward woke up strapped to chair and was afraid and in fornt of him was televisn and little guy with ugly face started to talk: "Hello, Edward Cullen. I wanna play a game. For years, you have been an obsessive, sparkling creep. Despite having super powers you never used super prwoers to help people fight crime and instead just had sex with girl friend! Also, you fucking sparkle! So now, the bomb underneath you will explode and you will die. I thought about giving you button so you could shoot yourself in balls and not explode but I dnot like you because you sparkle and are dishonor to vampires! So now, you will explode and I will shoot you in balls anyway!"
Suddenly, little ugly guy came in and shot Edward in balls. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO !1" screamed Edward because he was shot in balls and also, he exploded. Everywhere was blood and bones and guts and brains and then, edward was dead.