Do svidanyia, my love.
Until we meet in the next world.
Tangled gazes lowered to the ground,
As we raise a toast to death and the end of an era.
An eerie sense of calm falls upon us,
As if we weren't about to plunge ourselves into the void.
A kiss on the lips, a shallow breath,
Holding on to the one thing we have left-
Each other.
Close your eyes, my love.
Don't shed a tear,
For it will all be over soon.
In the struggle of dominance
Between the reality they see and the reality we perceive,
A stubborn barricade has been built in between.
No longer are we granted permission to visit their world
Of hope, of joy, of laughter and of warmth.
We were left with their undesired emotions
Of fear, of grief, of insanity and terror.
We were apprehensive in the beginning,
These emotions were foreign to us.
But they weren't for very long.
The minutes, the hours, the days passed us
At what seemed to be the speed of light.
The days blurred into one horrendous length of torture,
The little sanity we were clinging to left us in favour for the light
As we drowned in the darkness.
It swallowed us, my love.
It swallowed us whole.
Every moment spent inside the insanity of our bruised minds
Changed us irreversibly.
We were left with these shells,
These ghosts of our former selves.
The voices, the voices screamed at us to end our lives,
And in the near-silent black, who else was there to listen to?
Our minds were too damaged to hear one another.
So we took their advice, we listened to the sirens
With their promises of peace, and a beautiful nothing.
It was that decision that lead us to this moment.
The guns we hold against our own skulls, cold and unforgiving.
We put the last shreds of faith we had inside each other
And trusted that the other would go through with the divine plan
The voices commanded us to follow.
I would be scared, if I wasn't already terrified out of my own insanity.
We agreed to pull the trigger at the same time
So that we could be together forever in the beyond.
Because in the pitch black of our practically shared consciousness,
We only ever had each other.
So do it, my love.
Pull the trigger and end this madness.
Take a deep breath and do it.
Do it.
I waited.
No sound.
I wait longer.
Still no sound, no gunshot.
No bodies hitting the floor.
Why?
Because we were cowards.
The little faith we had,
We put into each other.
We are the only things we are certain that exist.
We don't have enough faith in the afterlife
To believe that after our death, we will meet there
And be together forever in paradise.
That was our tenth attempt at suicide.
Another year, another failure to end our pathetic existence.
Will we ever be able to do it?
Or will we simply have to wait until one of them,
The people living in the filthy, blinding light
Puts us out of our misery?
Another year in hell, my love.
I look forward to spending it with you.
What happened to leave Ivan and Alfred in such a state is open to interpretation. Thanks for reading, and as always reviews are appreciated! ^-^