Disclaimer - I do not own Merlin, or any of the characters in this story
Set During 2x12 The Fires of Idirsholas
They were racing around the castle, her, her brother, and her… what? Morgana didn't know what Merlin was to her any more.
When Merlin had first arrived in Camelot, Morgana had found a deep respect for him – he had stood up to Arthur, and had risked his life to save both the Prince's and Gwen's. This respect had soon grown into friendship.
After the incident with the druid boy, Mordred, Morgana had begun to trust Merlin. He was willing to ignore the law to fight for what was right. This was a trait Morgana valued dearly. The trouble was, she realised now, people had very different ideas about what was right.
So when Merlin's village was attacked by Kanan and his men, Morgana had been compelled to help. For all his bravery, Morgana knew that Merlin was useless with a sword. She remembered how grateful he had been for her help, at the time she had brushed off his thanks, claiming she was returning a favour, but it was more than that. Morgana had begun too care for Merlin, in a way she couldn't explain.
When her magic had become more obvious, more dangerous, Morgana had begged Merlin for help, she had trusted him with her secret for reasons she herself didn't know. This trust had not gone unrewarded, he had helped her find the druids, find Mordred; Merlin had made her life bearable.
And yet, during that moment in the tent, things seemed to change between them. One moment she had felt closer to him than anyone else in the world, she had trusted him more than anyone else she had ever met. She had been sure that he cared for her as a close friend, maybe more. Then she had refused to return to Camelot, and he had looked at her as though she were a stranger.
The look had been one of confusion, almost anger. She didn't understand, surely he realised that returning to Camelot was a death sentence for her? She pitied the people Uther held prisoner, but it wasn't her fault, was it?
When she had been forced to return to the castle, on the back of Arthur's horse, Morgana had thought of Merlin, his bravery in trying to buy time for her and Aglain to escape, despite his obvious disagreement with her decision. The memory made her feel obliged to honour his bravery, and to try and mirror it in her own actions. She would never again let Uther kill people because they had magic, because they were like her, no matter what the cost may be.
But Merlin had drifted away, he had barely spoken to her since the incident, and when they did speak it seemed as though he was hiding something. So Morgana had turned to Alvarr and Mordred. She had almost motherly feelings for the young boy, and Alvarr seemed to understand her fears like no one else. Her feelings for the two of them, and Merlin's obvious distrust of her, made her risk the lives of Arthur, Merlin and the whole of Camelot. It was all for a good cause, at least, that's what she told herself.
When that plan failed she turned to Morgause, Morgause who had saved her from her nightmares, and the horrors she went through at night, Morgause who she felt she had some strange connection to, as though they had known each other before.
Morgana wasn't stupid, she knew that the strange slumber Camelot seemed to be under was Morgause's doing, and she suspected that she herself had something to do with the spell. People seemed to have gotten worse when she went near them, early that morning, when trying to help, she had thought absentmindedly "Maybe I'm cursed." They she had stopped and realised, maybe it was true.
Merlin's actions only confirmed her suspicions. He had protected her from Arthur's questioning, for which she was much grateful, but she knew there had to be more than just her magic protecting her. Morgana wasn't naïve enough too believe she was the only magical person in Camelot.
Merlin had disappeared, only to return, looking at her with eyes full of emotions she couldn't understand; anger, mistrust, hurt, remorse? She tried not too think about it, but the look unsettled her, made her reflect on her past with Merlin, why would he look at her in this way?
Now they were in the council chambers, trying to find a way too get the King away from Camelot. Arthur had left, in a suicidal attempt to move a cart into the square. Merlin was acting strangely, trying to get her to drink, she declined, feeling to anxious to even swallow.
Now he turned to her, tears in his eyes, which disturbed her slightly. Merlin was always so strong, what could upset him so? She supposed he was worried for Arthur, for Camelot, for her? Once again he requested she take a drink "before he finished it". She smiled gently, Merlin always thought of others before himself, she wondered what Camelot had done too deserve him, and instantly regretted putting his life at risk for the sake of Alvarr and his crystal.
How could she refuse those eyes pleading for her too drink? Not wanting her friend to worry anymore than he already was, Morgana held out her hand to take the water from him.
"Thank You."
A/N: Reviews are most appreciated