"OH MY GOOOOOOOd, my eyes are bleeding with FIYAAAAHAHHHHHH!" sad the Joe l.
"But why?" asked a very confused Ryvus but not because she was Yuck Ico. "Why?"
"Stop asking so many questions, Yuck Ico," Trip said from the kitchen. He was looking for his new wine glasses.
"Why do you need your new wine glasses?" Yoo kekow asked anyway, blatantly disobeying Trip's orders.
"THAT SHOULD BE OBVIOUS"
But alas. It wasn't obvious. The poor, yellow-headbanded Boku no Yukiko was convulsing in pain. Trip wasn't even alarmed. He was just offended that she was messing up the carpet. He didn't want Grace to complain about her decorating again.
"DECORATING" screeched Grace from behind the gray door that always remained closed. It would always remain closed.
"Soooooooooooooooooooooo, can I make you one of my drink inventions?" Trip asked, feigning indifference.
"Why?" Everyone turned to see Rev emerging from the shadows, shrugging.
A pause followed, and everyone turned back to see Trip's response. "Soooooooooooooooooooooo, can I make you one of my drink inventions?"
"Why?"
"Soooooooooooooooooooooo, can I make you one of my drink inventions?"
"Why?"
"Soooooooooooooooooooooo, can I make you one of my drink inventions?"
"Why?"
Obviously, this wasn't going to end anytime soon. Joel snapped out of his trancelike, eyes bleeding with fire state and raced over to the place where, instead of Trip and Grace's wedding picture, was an elegant portrait of an adorable redhead with headphones.
"HELP ME HULK HOGAN"
The portrait came alive, and Yosuke jumped out. "SUKEMANIA BROTHERRRRRR"
"OH YEAHHHHHHH"
And then they started wrestling. Or hardcore hugging. Whatever you wanna call it.
She-ayyyy decided to join them. She punched 'em in the gut and laughed, bouncing off the walls in a literal sense. Meanwhile, Jo "Andrew" and Yoooo SUKEEE were convulsing in pain beside Yukiko. Oy vey.
Thankfully, No Nose was here to cuddle Yukiko in this time of need. Emo Hair, who forgot he was even there, was being emo.
"Stop being emo, Emo Hair," Vinny said, suddenly materializing. "Who do you think you are? Oskar Schell?"
Suddenly, Oskar Schell appeared, with his lips that looked like he was either drinking a lot of Kool Aid, absorbing the blood of his enemies, or wearing enormous amounts of lipstick. He was very emo. Also, very small. He started crying for no reason. "I AM A PRECOCIOUS CHILD AND YOU ARE ALL DOG FECES"
"How dare you call me dog feces?!" Katakana shrieked, in a very un-heterosexual voice.
"WELL EXCUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUSE ME, DOG FECEs" Oskar continued. Lonk flew in all the way from Pennsylvania just to punch him in the nose.
Petch appeared to help him finish the job. In a matter of minutes, the deformed Nintendo characters managed to beat the everloving crap out of the very emo Oskar Shulk. Noose dealt the finishing blow.
Emo Hair was said. But not that sad. Because finally he could be de-emoed. Finally, he could be just HAIR!
"Soooooooooooooooooooooo, can I make you one of my drink inventions?"
"Why?"
"OH MY DOSH, JUST LONK!" screeched a very dead Yuck Ico.
"Yuck Ico? Yuck Iku! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! I HAVE NO REASON TO GO ON! WHAT AM I FIGHTING FOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGHH" said No Nose. Luckily for him, Yellowcard appeared and told him to stop singing that song around them.
"Dude that's like copyright infringement" said the band right before they jumped out the window.
"Soooooooooooooooooooooo, can I make you one of my drink inventions?"
"Why?"
And then Capcom said, "that's very ricken of u"
Which was funny, because Ricken is not a Capcom.
At the sound of his true love's name, Henry appeared. "Nya ha ha," he laughed. He also managed to bring in a dozen or so crows. Trip would get angry if he wasn't so invested in trying to make Rev a drink invention.
"Soooooooooooooooooooooo, can I make you one of my drink inventions?"
"Why?"
"Soooooooooooooooooooooo, can I make you one of my drink inventions?"
"Why?"
""Soooooooooooooooooooooo, can I make you one of my drink inventions?"
"Why?"
"Soooooooooooooooooooooo, can I make you one of my drink inventions?"
Finally, there was a long enough pause between his question and Rev's response. He broke from the loop and walked over to Henry, grabbing the collar of his cloak and smoothly wheeling him out of the apartment.
"Okay, Henry, I think we've had enough," Trip lectured. "There's just so much we can put up with, you know? No, no, we'll be fine, YOU just have to GO."
Henry narrowed his eyes. If that was even possible. He would send his crows out for revenge on Trip. One day…
Meanwhile, inside, dead bodies were scattered about, crows were flying everywhere, Grace was still sealed inside the gray door, and Rev was still questioning everything Trip was doing. No Nose was sobbing and sniffling (even though he had no nose) and Emo Hair (now just Hair) was enjoying his freedom from Emotude.
There wasn't enough comic relief, so Teddie decided to make his appearance. He rolled in, kind of copying Sonic or Samus, who proceeded to appear themselves and punch him in the side. It was cushiony though because he is literally just a ball with a face.
"WHO WANTS TO SEE A MAGIC TRICK"
"Why?" Rev asked.
Ignoring the question, Teddie instead decided to stand uncomfortably near to Rev and whisper, "wanna see my f?
"I WANT TO SEE YOUR HEAD COME OFF!" screeched a very angered and emotionally unstable No Nose. Yuck Ico agreed even though she was dead.
"k" said Teddie, removing his entire head. Inside the head that he removed was TERRy, the sprightly young terrorist coach. "TA DAAAAAAAA"
No Nose was scared. Hair was scared. Everyone was scared. Trip made that shocked face and it was really awkward.
"Soooooooooooooooooooooo, can I make you one of my drink inventions?"
"Why?" Rev asked reflexively, right as everyone else in the room (including Yukiko) shouted "STFU TRIP"
Teddie was then a sad and then went through the wall to go hide from everyone, right before wailing dramatically, "I Can'T BEAR YOUR JUDGMENT!"
That was a bad pun, but everyone was used to it.
However, Teddie was not prepared for the deed he had done. By simply making one of his bad bear puns, he had accidentally summoned Freddy Fazbear, who stared at him with piercing blue eyes and laughed his deeply pitched little girl laugh.
"The furries are here," Teddie whispered. But it was too late.
Soon…he became the bear.
MEANWHILE, IN THE APARTMENT!
Sonic was going fast. Perhaps too fast. Or maybe he wasn't going fast at all. Maybe everyone else was too slow.
"Soooooooooooooooooooooo, can I make you one of my drink inventions?"
"Why?"
Cloud Strife decided to walk in like a normal person, though he couldn't quite fit through the door because of his ginormous hair spike. Little did he know that Henry was still lying in wait, plotting for the right time to release thousands of crows and perhaps millions of bees. Henry waited and watched as the door closed. Gosh darn. Maybe next time.
Anyway, Cloud was very alarmed. Even more alarmed than one would be if walking into Trip and Grace's apartment, which is quite alarming in itself. No, this time, he had found himself smack dab in the middle of a bad fanfiction, with mashups everywhere.
"Soooooooooooooooooooooo, can I make you one of my drink inventions?"
"Nah, I'll just have a merlot," Cloud tried to say, but Rev was faster in saying, "Why?"
He never got his merlot.
Suddenly, there was a loud thud. Everyone was silenced (especially Yukiko, since she was dead), even Sonic, and they all turned to look down the hallway. Grace had broken down the door with her stronk.
"WHERE DID I GO WRONG? WITH MY DECORATING!" she said.
"ALL YOUR FURNITURE IS BADLY RENDERED AND INCREDIBLY BLOCKY" said Steve from Minecraft, very ironically. Also, he had somehow appeared without anyone noticing.
"That's not my problem," Grace shrugged. This angered Cloud very much.
"THAT IS MY LINE! And also not my problem." Within a few moments, Grace was an obliterated lump on the ground. GG, Cloud. GG.
Everyone's jaw dropped (except Yukiko). One of the hosts in the host club was dead.
"Soooooooooooooooooooooo, can I make you one of my drink inventions?"
"Why?"
Soon, a lot of things returned to normal. Sonic slowly began to go fast again and everything returned to its natural, panic-filled state.
Until a knock came at the door.
"Uhp, he's here!" Trip said joyfully, finally breaking away from the loop. Rev was a sad.
"What? Trip, you said he'd be here an hour from now!" the lump of Grace said.
"No, no, he's right on time!"
With an exaggerated door-opening click, the door opened. "Andrew! I thought I heard someone out here!"
But what was on the other side of the door was not Andrew. No, quite the contrary.
"相棒次第何ですか?" Marth said, doing some kind of elaborate and spooky dance.
"Uh…yeah! Well, come on in!" Trip was obviously very uncomfortable.
But Trip forgot to close the door, and Henry took this experience as a sign. A sign that it was finally time to invade. He followed Marth closely, blending in because their art styles were kind of similar I guess. I mean, they were from the same series so apparently no one else in the room could tell them apart. Darn graphics.
"FLY! FLY, MY PRETTIES!" Henry said, letting so many crows loose. It was like Birdemic.
"それはびるでみくようなものだ!" Marth screamed. Yes, I just said that, please stop repeating after me.
Yosuke and Joel were prepared this time. They stopped Chie from bouncing off the walls and they took on the birds. But alas…the birds…had….plane noises.
"SOMEONE CALL JONTRON!" Vinny said. Well, someone had to say it.
Luckily, one of the crows that Henry released was actually Jacques in disguise. Don't ask me how that works, okay?
"我々は、相手の呼び出しを実行する必要があります," Marth insisted.
"Does anyone actually know what this baby faced ancient dude is even trying to say?" said Hair, even though Persona takes place in Japan.
"ECH" said Marth with inkuredibiru accuracy.
Apparently, much like Teddie's summoning of the Fredbear himself, one call was all it took to make Jon Jafari appear.
"OH" was all he managed to get out before having a crow divebomb directly on top of him with plane noises.
Henry was nya ha ha-ing over in the corner, and everything was worse than usual.
"いつもあなたの手を洗った後は手を洗う." But no one was paying attention to Marth anymore. Spooky music played as a Freddy Fazbear suit slowly walked into the room.
"Do you wanna see my head come off?" it said. But no one did. Absolutely no one in their right mind would ever want to see Freddy take off his head. But because he was a rebel, he took it off anyway.
Inside…was Teddie.
"IT IS FIVE NIGHTS AT TEDDIE'S NOW," he said. Yukiko was scared even farther into death.
JUMPSCARe
"What? Don't stare me always." The voice echoed from above. The acoustics were really good.
Really good…..
"I'M REALLY FEELING IT!" Shulk said in his fancy voice, jumping down from the ceiling.
He used the Monado as a toy once, and it didn't work out so well for him. Well, he was fine, but it really didn't work out so well for Fiora, Fiauna, and Fieryweather. But now he was using the Monado to chop down the plane-noising birds that were divebombing.
Henry stopped nya ha ha-ing and started nosferatu-ing. Many more people died, especially Yukiko. In fact, everyone died except No Nose, Hair, and Teddie because he was sort of already dead in the first place but not quite.
And that's where babies come from.
THE END