Tanning for Dummies

Tsunade, jiraiya, orochimaru when they were younger. They are around 12ish.

I don't know sarutobis personality so this is very hard to write. This story is mostly focused on Orochimaru. And Sarutobi doesn't play favourites. Orochimaru is ooc. And Konoha pool is just a random name.

'Hey Orochimaru!! I'd never thought I'd ask this but...why are you so pale??' Jiraiya asked. Tsunade, Jiraiya and Orochimaru were sitting on the floor in a circle, at the park, waiting for their sensei

'Um...err...I was born that way??'

Jiraiya started laughing so hard that Sarutobi appeared out of nowhere and said 'huh?? What happened? Am i late?'

'Of course you are LATE!! What are you talking about?? Why are you late?' Tsunade questioned their sensei.

'Um..well I was err..Sleeping...yeah..Yeah sleeping. I was sleeping!!' Sarutobi seemed to be happy that he made up an excuse on the spot.

'Liar!' murmured Tsunade.

'So what were you guys discussing that made Jiraiya laugh so hard that made me appear?'

'Um...we were laughing about why I was so pale.'

'AHAHAHAHA!! Anyone would laugh at that! Now I get why Jiraiya was laughing.' Sarutobi laughed out aloud. Orochimaru laughed quietly along with the others.

'But I know many ways to fix that problem! And yes Sarutobi will insist on Orochimaru trying these things.'

Orochimaru started listening attentively

'Ok, the first way is just to go for a swim then try sun tanning.'

Orochimaru grabbed up Jiraiya's research notes and started to write these things down.

'I'll tell you myself Orochimaru, these thing WILL NOT work.' Tsunade claimed.

'Shut up boobless!'Orochimaru shouted. Tsunade bopped him in the head.

'Ow!! Anywayz Sarutobi go on!'

'So anywayz I was saying...where's jiraiya??'

'Probably gone doing some research, get on with it!' Orochimaru snapped.

'Ok, ok ah at least one of my students is following my path. Ok next, if that doesn't work then try sun tanning lotion. You can get them from like any chemist or shop like even woolies'

'Where's woolies?' Orochimaru asked as he scribbles furiously down the information given to him by Sarutobi.

'Well if you stopped trying to play with your snakes and actually take them on walks then you would actually see something other than your snake cave for once!'

'Okay okay I'll try fit that into my schedule.'

'And if that doesn't work then we will have to take drastic measures and put you in a sun tanning salon (is that how you spell it? Or even what it's called?)'

'Okay anything else?'

'Nup! And good luck with your sun tanning situation! I'm off to help Jiraiya!!'

'Poof' and Sarutobi vanishes

'Hey wait up!! What about our training session?' Tsunade whined to thin air

'Tsunade, it just got cancelled.' Said Orochimaru.

'Damn, anyway im going home...unless... YOU WANT ME TO HELP YOU!!'

'um...ok??'

'Yay ok we shall go swimming first!! Go home and get change into your swimmers and meet me at Konoha pool in 5 minutes.'

'HAI BOOBLESS!!'

'STOP calling me boobless!!' Tsunade shouted after orochimaru poofed away into air. Tsunade then also poofed away into thin air.

IN OROCHIMARU'S CAVE........

'hm... i wonder where i put my swimmers...let's see...'

Orochimaru starts chucking snakes everywhere while trying to find his swimmers.

'Snake food...no, snake leash...no, spare robe...no, THONG??...NO!!! sigh where are my swimmers?'

Manda comes along (he is only a baby here) with orochimaru's fluoro orange swimmers.

'Your swimmers are disgraceful! Get new ones!'Manda hissed

'Well I'm sorry but I haven't been shopping for clothes ever since my parents died!'

'Yea yea.' Manda hisses and slithers away.

'Hm... I have to do something with these swimmers.' Orochimaru looks around for a bottle of spray paint.

'Aha! Blue paint? Ah well, it'll have to do, I guess it's better than fluoro orange.'

Orochimaru spray paints his fluoro orange swimmers and lets them dry before wearing them.

'Hm...I...look... weird.' Orochimaru stares at himself in the mirror. 'no wait, I was looking at Manda. No wonder I looked so dark!'

'Idiot!' Manda whispered.

Orochimaru was wearing blue guy swimmers with board short ontop of them.

'Ahhh...much better. I better hurry up or else Tsunade will murder me. Bye Manda.'

'yea what ever.'

Orochimaru poofs out of his house to konoha pool where Tsunade was standing in a bikini, which was too big for her chest, waiting for him.

'YOU'RE late by 2.689203 seconds!' Tsunade shouted.

'You're so precise! And please don't hit me...' Tsunade hits Orochimaru in the head.

'You said that a little too late! Come on lets go in!'

END!! Of first chapter. Hoped you liked it! Its only like 750 words so it's very short.