Chapter 1: Welcome to Pandora Kiddos
This will be the only warning, this story contains drugs, sex, and violence. You have been warned.
Thought
"Speech"
(Me talking usually for clarification)
A man stumble getting up, his head screaming and his ears slightly ringing. The train that he was trying to kill Handsome Jack in had blown up and he and all his fellow Vault Hunters were scattered. As his vision returns and the ringing in his ears had faded to the point where he didn't want to shoot himself, he noticed a CL4P-TP unit talking while digging in the ice. He stood up and brushed the snow off his black hoodie, revealing red patches on the shoulders and a gold colored skull on the back He wore a crimson t-shirt underneath and navy blue jeans. He had black sneakers with shoelaces that were bound in red. These too had a gold colored skull on the side. He had on leather black fingerless gloves with that same gold skull on it. The knuckles had a slight ridge across them. He had long hair, a full beard and mustache.
"Great - another dead Vault Hunter. Handsome Jack's been busy. Wait a minute - You're not dead! YES! Now I can get off this glacier! Claptrap, your metaphorical ship has finally come in! Allow me to introduce myself - I am CL4P-TP steward bot, but my friends call me Claptrap! Or they would, if any of them were still alive. Or had existed in the first place! Man, this is great! Now that I've met a mighty Vault Hunter, I can finally join the resistance in Sanctuary, take vengeance against Jack for killing my product line, and repair my central processor so I can stop thinking out loud! I wonder what it's like to have a belly button."The man reached for his gun but noticed it wasn't in his holster. He searched all around but it was a fruitless effort.
"Hey, annoying piece of crap, have you seen my guns?" He drew his sword and pointed the tip of it at Claptrap. The sword's edge was serrated and glowed a neon blue while the rest was made of black titanium. A golden hilt separated the fearsome blade from its handle.
"Easy, easy. No, I haven't seen your guns around here, but before I showed up I saw some bandits and they appeared to be looting things off of you, but I do have a pistol back at my house from my old mercenary days if you would like that." Claptrap said.
"Better than nothing, I guess." The man sheathed his sword and put a closed the scabbard with a piece of leather, and doing so made it turn invisible.
"Whats your name, minion?" Claptrap asked.
"Lets set something straight here, I am NOT your minion, you are mine, and if you EVER call me that again, I will fucking rip you to pieces with my bare hands and make you regret the day you were created." The man growled as he gripped the space that would be his sword's hilt
"Ok, I got it, but that didn't answer my question." Claptrap said, hoping not to get completely obliterated.
"Oh, my real name is has been long since been lost, but my enemies call me The Dark Angel, and my friends call me Death." Death answered as the two began walking to Claptrap's place, they didn't speak until they were right in front of Claptrap's place.
"Well done! Your ability to walk short distance without dying will be Handsome Jack's downfall" Claptrap told him.
I really want to fucking kill him, but I need him alive so I can get off this shit hole glacier and get to Sanctuary. There I should be able to get more information about the location of the other Vault Hunters. Hell, for all I know they could all be dead. That would really suck. Death thought to himself.
"Sorry about the mess. Everything Handsome Jack kills, he dumps here. Bandits, Vault Hunters, Cla-" Claptrap was cut off.
"Wait, did you say that he drops dead Vault Hunters here? Did a Siren or Commando appear in the past few days?"
"No, none of those. Why do you ask?" Claptrap stopped in front of his door.
"Two of the people I'm looking for are a Siren and a Commando, if you saw them, then that would mean that Handsome Jack or his pathetic robots or minions got to them. But since they aren't here, that means they are still probably alive." Death answered.
"Oh... ok. Aaaaaand open." Claptrap opened the front door to his big igloo. There were dead bodies everywhere, some of bandits, others of random civilians. Many of the deactivated and destroyed Claptrap units were put into the the building's walls, alongside huge ice blocks, metal sheets, and old metal signs. There were crates containing ammo or small amounts of money. There where pictures and magazines littered about. In the porta potty, there were pictures of Claptrap posing in, if it was a female, sexy positions that made him want to puke. In the back of the room there was a small stage with a furnace behind it.
"Just a little added security. Gotta keep the Bullymongs at bay, or they will rip your eyes out." Just as Claptrap finished that statement, a giant Bullymong drops down from the giant hole in the center of the roof and, surprise surprise, ripped Claptrap's eye out.
"MY EYE! AHHHHHHH!" When Knuckle Dragger drops him to the ground, he the little robot flailed about bumping into things. Ha, stupid things running around like a chicken without a head. But now I guess I need to go retrieve the damn things eye.
"Yea, having a giant hole in the roof wouldn't have kept anything out. That was kind of a design flaw." Death pointed out.
"Hey, Death, I keep the pistol I told you about in the container over ther- oof- go get it so we can get my eye back, and hurry plea- oof." Claptrap pointed over towards a chest on the other side of the room. He opens it and was disappointed by it's weak power and level. He took it and the ammo nearby.
"Apart from the excruciating pain, this is great! I've been waiting for a mighty Vault Hunter to help me reach Sanctuary. I will be your wise lea- minion, and you shall be my fearsome leader." Claptrap corrected himself in an attempt to not get completely obliterated. "Leader, you may wonder why I don't just take a replacement eye from one of these broken Claptraps. Two reasons: firstly, because me and my eye have been through a lot. Secondly, because shut up." Claptrap managed to get to the other side of his house to the door. "Let me get the door and we can go Bullymong hunting." He opened the door on the other side of the room. They walked killing several Bullymongs on the way to Frostbite Crevasse. Half way there, they felt an earthquake.
"Ugh- AGAIN?! Jack's tearing Pandora apart to find the Vault. They say Jack's drilling operations are causing those earthquakes. That, or your mom just got outta bed. ZING!" Claptrap explained.
"Never make a joke about my Mother." Death had his sword in hand as he killed the Bullymongs. Death opened several crates, taking the ammo inside. At Frostbite Crevasse, Knuckle Daggers jumped down from the cliff and began throwing chucks of ice. Death dodged each as he fired shots from his gun. When he realized that the bullets were having no effect, he drew his sword and lunged forwards by hoping from ice chunk to ice chunk. When he got close to the Bullymong, a car got picked up and thrown, and he sliced right down the middle, hopped over it, and slammed the blade deep into the creature's skull, shattering it's head to pieces while sending bits of bone, brain and blood all over. Death ripped the eye from Knuckle Dragger and walked back to Claptrap.
"Got my eye? Great! Now we just gotta find someone to put it back into me. Much as I'm sure you'd like to jam your fist into my skull, optic surgery is best left for professionals" Claptrap began talking to the barge when Death grabbed him.
"Haha, no! I need this." Death threw him into the ground and shoved the eye back into Claptrap's skull.
"Gah. Was that really necessary?" Claptrap was pretty pissed about that.
"Shut up and go, or I will cut you to pieces and leaves the remains here, either way I move on." The man threatened. Claptrap quickly got back up and began heading towards the barge again.
"Aaaaaand open." Claptrap attempted to open the barge, but got shutdown. "Well, it was nice knowing ya! I hear getting eaten alive by Bullymongs isn't such a bad way to go" Claptrap just stood there.
"I got this." Death closed his eyes and put his hands together. When he began to open them, a scythe was created. He lashed out with the weapon, creating a huge X on the door and kick the center of it. The door shattered and he walked through.
"Wha- da- How did you do that." Claptrap just stared in awe as Death just walked through the barge, looting whatever guns and ammo he would need
"Don't worry about it." He grabbed a shotgun and an smg, loading them, he asks, "You coming, or what?" Death just continued walking to Liarsburg.
"Alright, let's go. I guess." Claptrap rolled up beside Death and the made their way to the village. I hope I can get to Sanctuary quickly and ditch the annoying robot. They made there descent down a cliff and started walking to Liarsburg just to see it being attacked bandits. Death kicked down the gate blocking his path and drew his sword and smg. He dodged the incoming barrage of bullets with a surprising amount of grace. When they reloaded, bullets tore through them without giving them a chance to dodge. His incredible speed and agility caused swift ends to there miserable lives. The Bullymongs that came were quickly dispatched by his shotgun. He walked over to go meet the only person who seems to still either be alive or stayed. Hammerlock introduced himself first. "Nice too meet you, they call me Death."
"Death? Why is that so?" Hammerlock was frightened by the strange name he had.
"You have nothing to fear from me, just stay on my good side and you will stay alive, piss me off and you will meet your maker, or rot in a hole, whichever you choose to believe. They call me that because of my attire and because I can summon a Spirit Scythe. Also, I can do this." He pulled down a mask that was hidden in his hood, suddenly, he vanished at the blink of an eye, and reappeared just as suddenly. The mask was black with the gold skull he has on almost all of his clothing.
"Rather impressive, but I feel the urge to ask this question, why come to this god forsaken place, and not somewhere more... not being torn to pieces by the Hyperion Corp. against the resistance."
"I don't know you to well, so my past will remain a secret to you, perhaps one day you may know, but till than, I will keep you alive and get you from here to Sanctuary if that is your desired destination." Claptrap just stood there.
"Hey, if you too are done, we need to go retrieve my boat from the bandit leader Captain Flynt." Death looked to Hammerlock and pulled out a sniper rifle.
"You know to use of these?"
"Of course, aim for the head and pull the trigger."
"Alright, let,s move."
I hope you enjoy this new story.