Naruto Gets Humiliated (But He Has A Ramen Coupon)

The Semi-Sequel To The Equally As Retarded 'Sasuke Gets Stuck In A Hole'

Haruno Sakura was all smiles. Today was the day, the day that Sakura would finally see all the fellow ninja she knew and loved – or hated. Sakura was overjoyed that she would be able to see old friends, after having to deal with Naruto for months on end. Of course, she was with Sasuke, so that wasn't such a bad thing.

But the first thing that happened when Sakura, Naruto, and Sasuke walked into the room was something that Sakura had seen before. Yamanaka Ino jumped on Sasuke, giving him a huge hug.

"Oh, Sasuke! I missed you so much!" Ino cooed.

Sasuke tried to tell Ino to get off him, but no one – not even Sakura – heard him.

"Get off of Sasuke, wench!" Sakura yelled. Naruto sighed. He didn't like being with scores of people that hated him.

"Hello, Sakura, nice to see you haven't changed," Ino spat as she got off of Sasuke. Sasuke breathed again, having been choked by Ino.

Naruto wandered off, in search of nothing in particular, when he bumped into someone very familiar to him.

Nara Shikamaru glared down at him. "Oh, so you didn't die. Nice."

"You're a whiny dork. How'd you survive?" Naruto snapped back.

"I just did, okay?" Shikamaru scowled. "I don't need to tell you how I passed the second round."

"So I won't tell you! Ha!" Naruto yelled.

"I didn't even want to know, dork…"

Shikamaru sighed. "I hate these things. Running into people I hate isn't my idea of fun."

"I know. I'm beginning to think that I should spice things up a bit."

Shikamaru actually smiled. "Just what I was thinking. Now, who should we humiliate?"

"Sasuke!" Naruto said immediately.

"No way," Shikamaru countered. "He'd see right through us. Hmm…"

Shikamaru looked around, his eyes darting back and forth as if he were nervous. "How about Sakura?"

"Sakura, eh?" Naruto smiled. "All right, now let's get the ball rolling."

"For this to work, we have to find a ninja that Sakura wouldn't want to be caught dead with, besides me…"

Naruto and Shikamaru scanned the room.

"How about Gaara?" Shikamaru asked Naruto.

"Nah," Naruto shrugged. "He's actually remotely good looking."

Shikamaru laughed. "All right, how bout Rock Lee?"

"Oh yeah! That'll be perfect!" Naruto answered. "She really doesn't like him!"

Shikamaru and Naruto began to walk over to Lee. "Now, he probably won't do this for free. What have you got?"

Naruto emptied his pockets. "A free ramen coupon, one hundred yen, a rubber band, and a ramen flavoring packet."

Shikamaru rummaged through his own pockets. "Five hundred yen, a stub from a train ticket, the instruction manual for 'Advance Wars', and a broken shuriken."

Naruto and Shikamaru looked at each other.

"We have nothing worth keeping," Naruto grumbled. "Except maybe this free ramen coupon…"

"We could just ask him, and then see what he does…"

Naruto tapped Rock Lee on the shoulder.

"Yes?" Lee asked.

"Hey, Lee, we need you to do something for us," Naruto answered.

"What?"

Shikamaru whispered it in his ear. Lee looked at Sakura, then back to Shikamaru and Naruto.

"Why?" Lee scowled. "I mean, sure, I want to, but what's the point?"

"It's kind of boring here," Shikamaru said flatly.

Lee got an awful glint in his eye. "Hey, I know what would liven things up… I'll kiss Sakura if you two kiss each other."

Naruto slowly edged away from Shikamaru. "There's no way."

Shikamaru had about the same reply. "Nasty perv."

Lee shrugged. "Oh well. I guess, if you gave me all the money you had, I'd do it… how much do you two have?"

"Six hundred yen," Shikamaru responded.

Lee shook his head. "Is that all?"

Shikamaru faced Naruto. "This isn't good. Not at all."

"Yeah, you're telling me," Naruto scowled. "I knew that guy was a bona-fide freak."

Lee carelessly pushed Shikamaru into Naruto. His lips touched Naruto's ever so lightly, but enough for pretty much every ninja in the place to notice (save Sasuke, who was ignoring everything around him).

A deafening silence followed as Naruto began to gag, and Shikamaru fell on the ground.

"Oh my gawd. That is so cute," Ino smirked.

"They actually do look good together," Sakura mused.

Shikamaru got up and looked at Rock Lee menacingly. "What was that for?"
"Whoops," Lee sneered. "I didn't mean to."

Naruto was still gagging, but he turned to face Lee.
"You little – burn in Hell, would you?" Naruto yelled.

"Sorry about that," Lee walked away. "I wonder who's humiliated who now…"

Naruto and Shikamaru looked around. There was a lot of explaining to be done. And the free ramen coupon did nothing to improve Naruto's mood.

DISCLAIMER: I don't own Naruto… or Advance Wars, now that I think of it.

A/N: The response to 'Sasuke Gets Stuck in a Hole' was pretty big for me, so I decided to make another one of these. I hope this one was as good as the last…

Kaiba: That was sick.

Mandark: I don't get it.

Ren: I thought you were against yaoi… oh well, I guess…