A/N: First off, apologies for being AWOL on "Closure" - I've been dealing with shingles and neck spasms and NOTHING is getting done around here!
Secondly, if you find yourself confused about "The Black Hole" you might want to check out The Ones We Love to Hate, the story that sets up the premise.
Comments, questions, and suggestions always welcome. :-)
FBI Agent Peyton Perotta ran down the deserted street, despite the pain of bones broken. The burns didn't hurt, which she knew was a bad thing – it meant nerve damage. And every breath she took was difficult and sent stabbing pains into her chest.
Man, those fanfic writers were touchy.
She finally came to her destination – The mysterious haven called "The Black Hole." She pulled the door open (her broken fingers screaming in protest) and stumbled inside.
She blinked her eyes against the light in the bar, even though it was dim. She sensed people talking quietly, someone calling out, "Time!" Under the stench of her burnt flesh she smelled nachos.
Then Sid was beside her with a chocolate milkshake in his hand. "First time's rough, Peyton," he said, putting a strong arm around her. "Drink up and you'll be fine."
She pulled on the straw and suddenly her pain was forgotten as her mouth filled with exquisite chocolate flavor. She moaned, but for the first time in recent moments it was in pleasure and not pain. Chocolate like this was almost worth getting hurt for.
She felt tingling throughout her body as her bones reknit themselves, new skin replaced the burnt parts, her breathing grew easier. She drank until she was sucking air, then handed the glass back to Sid with a look of gratitude. "You're the best, Sid."
He grinned. "I know it, Peyton, I know it. Now, what happened?"
She sighed. "I got blown up. I went with Booth and Brennan to a crime scene and it was booby-trapped." She snorted. "They were just fine."
"Tempe didn't shoot you?" Sully asked from his seat at the end of the bar.
Perotta shook her head. She stretched, letting her eyes roam the room. She ignored Sully's grousing, which ended in a burst of soap bubbles as he tried to cuss. To her surprise, she saw Dr. Saroyan collecting some winnings from one of the guys at the big table.
Rebecca came over. "Come on and have a seat. Sid made nachos."
Perotta noticed Jared was at another table, dressed in jeans and a t-shirt advertising Styx. She sat down with Tessa and Rebecca and grabbed a loaded chip. "Wow, I've never seen the place so full."
"Yeah," Dr. Saroyan said, sitting down at Jared's table. "Sid called all of us – said there were some important announcements we needed to hear."
Peyton frowned. She wondered what was going on. Was The Black Hole closing? After her brush with fans she hoped not.
"Yo, Sid!" Jared called. "We all here yet?"
"Waiting for one more, Jarhead," Sid said. He looked up as the door opened. "Ah, here we go."
Peyton stopped breathing when she saw what entered the room. A swirling, dark cloud, poured inside, the door closing behind it.
The FBI agent jumped to her feet, her hand going for her gun. A lot of gagging and soap bubbles filled the room as people reacted with fear (and profanity).
"Guys, guys, I got this!" Sid called, approaching the cloud with a chocolate milkshake in hand. He handed it over, the glass disappearing into the darkness. There was the sound of someone drinking and all at once the cloud vanished with a faint popping sound.
Perotta sank into her seat, her eyes glued to where the monstrosity had been moments before. "What was THAT?"
"Yeah," Sid said, loading a tray with drinks. "That's one of the things we have to talk about. That was one of you."
"What?" said David (Peyton thought it was David – all Brennan's boyfriends seemed to run together in her mind). "What happened to him – her – it?"
"All right," Sid said, passing out sodas and iced tea. "You guys need to stay calm. I have to tell you that while Bookwormlady is generous and kind, she is also…a fanfic writer."
Everyone stiffened. "You're saying…she's – she's – one of THEM?" Jared asked, his eyes filled with fear.
"Yup," Sid said. "And because people who read about us also might read her fanfic, she has to conceal anyone she offs, so as not to spoil things for people."
"What about bets?" Tessa asked. "If we don't know who…"
"She's given me authority to cover it," Sid said. "No worries. Winners will get their money. We just got to keep it under the table."
Sully shook his head. "I can't believe it. I thought she was different! Now you're saying she's just like those – those –"
"Easy there, Sully," Sid warned, returning to the bar and cleaning a glass. "Bookwormlady respects canon to a large extent and so as long as Hart Hanson –" there was a brief pause as everyone bowed their heads to acknowledge their great Creator – "doesn't kill you for the most part you're probably okay."
"'Probably,'" Sully scoffed.
"Yeah, well YOU might have something to worry about, Sully," Sid warned. "The leader of the Sully Haters group has been getting quite friendly with Bookwormlady – she might be able to tempt her to kill you off at least once."
A shudder went through The Black Hole. The thought that the one who had created the safe place could also be part of the reason it was necessary shook all of them.
Peyton bit into another nacho and relished the flavor. At least the food was great.
"Hey Sid," Cam asked, waving a mozzarella stick, "One thing that I've been hearing out there – what are YOU doing here? I don't think there are any fans that hate you…"
Everyone straightened up. It was something they'd all wondered about.
Sid smiled. "Well, it's like this – Bookwormlady needed someone to run this place. Someone unflappable, who could take care of you guys. And I wanted a job." His smile widened. "She says I make an AWESOME French Silk pie."
Everyone considered that as they munched on their goodies. It made sense. And Peyton found herself wondering if Sid's French Silk pie was as good as his chocolate milkshake.
"Okay!" Sid said, clapping his hands. "Now to explain why I called all of you here. Bookwormlady has found a way to allow fans to keep visiting this place and also fill her desire to review episodes." He picked up a remote and pointed it to a wall on the north side of the room.
The wooden planks parted to reveal a large plasma television screen. Perotta heard moans of pleasure from the guys' table. Even Sully brightened, moving from his seat at the bar to get a better look at it.
"See, we're gonna get to watch the episodes. Then we'll talk about them here, and it'll allow Bookwormlady to get her two cents in."
Rebecca nodded thoughtfully. "So everyone has to be here for that?"
"Yup," Sid said. "For purposes of the betting pool, this doesn't count as coming back due to angry fans. So no one has to worry about their bets becoming invalid."
Everyone digested this bit of news. "So, when does this start?" Tessa asked.
"Soon. Bookwormlady also has a fanfic idea she wants to work on, and also her real life writing demands her attention. But since there's gonna be no new episode for over a week, she hopes to get a couple of reviews in."
"So what do we do while we wait?" Perotta asked.
"Well," Sid said with a grin, "You could always try my French Silk pie."
There was a chorus of assent for that idea. Peyton sat back, anticipating some good eating and a chance to vent down the line.
It was better than getting blown up, that was for sure.