A/N: This was inspired by a conversation on Golden Keyblade. So... Only half of the story is mine. Sorry if my wedding is odd, it's Organization XIII. Silly one-shot.
DISCLAIMER: I do not in any way own Kingdom Hearts. Square Enix and Disney do.
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Today was the day. Xigbar knew this as he straightened his collar and eye patch.
"You sure you wish to do this, mate?" Luxord spoke in his British accent to the man who was fidgeting with the collar of his tuxedo.
"For the last time, Lux, I'm certain!" the Freeshooter turned from the mirror to glare at the tuxedo wearing Brit behind him.
"I just don't want you to rush things. I know that you have known him all of your life, but-," he was cut short by a bullet whizzing inches from his face. "A bit testy today, are we"
"You are my best man because I thought that you would support me on my special day. If I have to kill you, Axel becomes the best man and the church burns down," Xigbar joked about Luxord's impending death in such a carefree way that chills ran up the nobody's spine.
"Sorry, Xig," he muttered as he ran out of the bathroom and away from the Freeshooter.
Xaldin, however, was rushing about like mad at this time. He had been planning this for months and now it seemed as though he would stab everyone before it even started. "Vexen, are the dresses ready?" he called as the Maid Of Honor approached him.
"Yes, dear. Demyx! Get down here and show Xaldin the dress!" Vexen called as he stood next to Xaldin.
Demyx bounded down the stairs in his new bridesmaid's dress. "How does it look, Xally?" he spun around to show off the dress.
"Wonderful, Dem," Xaldin smiled at Demyx as his mind raced through the things that he still had to get done.
"Enough of that now. Come, Xaldin, we must get you ready quickly," Vexen took Xaldin's arm and led him up the stairs as he spoke.
Meanwhile, Luxord had run off to his favorite bar to have a few drinks before the wedding. "The usual, barkeep," he placed his order to the blue-haired man behind the bar.
Saix flipped his hair as he spoke to the Brit, "How're the wedding plans going"
Luxord scoffed at Saix as he pulled out his wallet to pay for his drink. "Xaldin is panicking and Xigbar just tried to kill me, but what's new?"
"What did you say?" Saix chuckled as he poured Luxord's drink.
"I made a comment that he was rushing things," Luxord accepted his drink from Saix.
Saix looked puzzled. "You know as well as I do that they have known each other since they were Somebodies. What made you say that"
"They may have known each other, but they've only been 'together' a little while. Anyway, how long do you think they'll last?" the nobody inquired as he wolfed his drink.
"Don't really know. With their tempers, they'll probably kill each other in the first month,"he served Luxord another drink upon seeing that the first was empty.
"You just don't want to bet on it," Luxord chuckled as he drank his second drink in one gulp. The conversation went this way for about twenty more minutes, with Saix and Luxord having a nice conversation as Luxord got exceedingly drunk.
"Better get down to the church, Lux," Saix reminded the nobody, who promptly staggered out of the bar.
Xigbar was pacing as he waited for his best man to get to the church. As the gambler staggered into view, the Freeshooter went off. "Damn it, Luxord! You're smashed! You have to deliver the speech too. Why do you do this to me!?"
Luxord ignored the rant and stumbled into the church. "Come on, Xig. Old Xemmy will be waitin'," he called over his shoulder as he entered the church.
"Calm down, Xig. He's your best man," the eyepatched man reminded himself as he followed Luxord.
Vexen had been stabbed by an irate Xaldin and was being rushed to the hospital as Xaldin called out to him, "Don't make mistakes next time"
Demyx stared at Xaldin in shock. "That was your Maid Of Honor. Now Larxene has to take that position," he spoke to Xaldin wide-eyed.
Xaldin shrugged. "We don't need him. Or Larxene. We'll do without."
Later, everyone had lined up in the proper positions. Demyx had convinced Xaldin to have Larxene be a bridesmaid so that he would not be lonely. Xigbar was standing next to Xemnas, the presiding minister. He watched as Demyx and Larxene walked down the aisle and took up their places. He saw Axel flip him off from the pew he was sitting in, still irate from not being best man. Luxord was leaning on Xigbar's shoulder, still immensely drunk. The flower girl then walked down the aisle. This was Marluxia, as flowers were his specialty. Then Xaldin walked down the aisle, arms locked with Lexaeus, who was giving him away. Xemnas started the proceedings. "We are gathered here today..." and so on.
All things went normally until Xemnas said, "Speak now or forever hold your peace." At that time, Zexion came bursting into the sanctuary.
"I have an objection!" he gasped out as he tried to catch his breath. Lexaeus promptly picked up the younger nobody and took him out of the church.
Xemnas winked at Xigbar, "Nobody is going to stop this wedding. No pun intended."
After the wedding took place, the reception was held. Demyx played his sitar for entertainment, still wearing his bridesmaid's dress. Luxord gave his speech, which was quite embarrassing. Xigbar made a mental note to kill the gambler later. Xaldin, still dressed in his white dress, threw the bouquet. The ring bearer, Roxas, caught it. Axel smirked at this and took the opportunity to propose. Xemnas sighed, "Looks like I've got another wedding." Vexen had arrived from the hospital in a casket. The wound that Xaldin had given him was too much for the hospital to take care of. Xemnas slammed his head on the table, "Now I have a funeral!" Lexaeus sat in one place the entire time, though Axel swears that he saw a tear roll down the man's face. Zexion had been sent to the bar to have a little 'chat' with Saix about his actions. Marluxia was bawling like a baby over Vexen's death. Larxene really didn't care and just waited for someone to give her a reason to attack them.
A wonderful day all in all. Except for Xemnas, Vexen, and Zexion.