Inspired by the song 'Whataya want from me' by Adam Lambert

My heart still felt like it was still shattered into a million pieces even after all these months of Edward gone. I didn't know if it would ever stop hurting, all I could do was prey that someday the hole in my chest would be filled by someone or something. But I had made things worse by jumping from the cliff, trying to see Edward in my mind, hoping that it was going to help me but the only thing that had happened was that it got worse and on top of it all, I almost got myself and my best friend killed as he saved me. Sure Jacob said that he could easily cope with any wave that came at us, but I didn't believe him. I shouldn't have been so stupid to risk my life for a vision of something that was no longer mine.

I shuddered into Jacob's side as I thought of what I had done because of Edward. Just thinking of his name hurt my chest so much – and not to mention breathing hurt because of all the sea water I had swallowed.

"Get some rest Bella," I heard him murmured into my ear and then kissed me on the forehead, pulling the blankets over me more, keeping me warm. But the blankets were nothing compared to his warmth. Every part of him was warm. His smile, his eyes, everything, even before he was a werewolf with a temperature of one-hundred-and-eight-point-nine-degrees, he was just warm all the time.

I looked down to him sitting on the floor, looking into his chocolate russet eyes as he looked up to me, feeling my gaze on him. I looked away from him swiftly, not wanting him to see that I was watching him. I felt red the cheeks and tucked my face into his sofa, hiding the redness. I sighed and shuddered again in coldness. I didn't feel like that I would ever get warm. The ocean's water had drenched me from head to toe and had almost frozen me to death. I was so stupid for doing what I had done.

"Move over Bella," he sighed. I looked up to him, surprised by his frustrated tone and confused to what he meant, but I did as I was told, knowing that soon enough I was warm. I leant into his warmth of his body, a smile coming to my face.

"Gees Bella, you're freezing," he stated, pulling me closer to him. I half giggled but held it back, knowing that it would hurt like hell if I laughed, giggled or spoke. I was grateful that Jacob understood that it hurt to talk and so he wasn't saying anything that forced me to speak, only questions that was a nod or a shake of the head.

"Relax, get some rest. You'll be warm soon enough." His hand ran up and down my arm, soothing me and warming me quickly. My eyes closed, the smile remaining on my lips. I felt him leaning in over me and his warmth closing in on my lips. No way! I wasn't ready for this yet. I hadn't even thought it through yet. I didn't know what to say or do. I didn't want to reject him and hurt him, but at the same time I wasn't ready to get over Edward to what felt like too soon after him leaving me, but to be truthful, it had been eight months. I knew that he wasn't coming back, and I had someone that truly loved me so much right here with me. I didn't know what to do or say. I was too confused, and to me it felt all too soon.

"N-no J-jake…" My voice stuttered and burnt weakly as I spoke, pushing away from me.

He looked down to me with confusion basically glowing in his eyes. He looked away from me in an awkward way and sighed. I nudged him with a smile, trying to make him feel better. Jacob meant the world to me and the last thing I wanted was him feeling upset about anything to do with me, but all he still was to me was a best friend. I couldn't let him kiss me and drag him on, maybe telling him without words that I had changed my mind. It wouldn't be fair. He knew that I didn't want to be anything more than friends. I had told him that.

He held me tighter for a second and then let go. "I'm sorry," he murmured.

I shook my head, not wanting him to be the one apologizing. If I could have, I would have been the one apologizing, explaining. I felt terrible in more ways than one. I should love him, I knew that, but I couldn't force myself to love him, could I? No, that wouldn't be right either. No matter how much I looked at it, nothing seemed to be right for me to do and I didn't want to hurt Jacob in anyway, but wasn't I hurting him just by been around? God I hoped not!

We both fell asleep on the sofa and only awoke when we both heard our fathers' coming through the door and into the lounge room. I acted like I was still asleep, but I was sure that Jacob knew better. I felt his palm touch my forehead. Most likely making sure that I was warm enough, and I was. Just like he had said, I was more than warm, I was almost too hot.

I was glad when I felt him slowly get off the couch and leave the blanket at my knees. I didn't need it anymore; in fact, I didn't feel like I needed any sort of cloth on me. Once I heard him leave the room almost silently, I jumped up and took off my jacket and jumper. I sat back in the seat, hearing both Jacob and my father speaking about me in the room next door. I could hear that my father was deeply worried about me after Jacob telling him what had happened. I should have thought about him before jumping. I was so stupid! What if I had died? Then how would he have felt?

In a way I was glad that I had Jacob. He was the only one that didn't give up on me. Anyone who really knew me and what I used to have in my life, anyone else would have given up on me. It felt like he was the only person in my life that truly understood me, that truly cared and loved me for who I was and who I used to be.

A sat on the chair, thinking deeply and must have been making too much noise for even just sitting still. Jacob peered from the corner of the door, seeing if I was awake or not. He smiled slightly when he seen me. I looked up to him and smiled.

He walked over to my side and sat back beside me on the sofa. "How are you feeling?" he asked softly.

"O-okay," I stuttered, the burning in my throat a little lighter in pain.

"Your dad is here to take you home."

I nodded and sighed, not really wanting to leave him so soon. I loved his company when he was around me, when we were alone and when none of his pack were around. He was my Jacob when they weren't around. So much kinder and sweeter and not a hot head, but either way I loved him for how he treated me and cared so much for me.

"So, do you want me to take you out to his car?" he looked to me was a smug smile and I couldn't help but wonder what he had planned behind that smile. I knew him well enough to know when he had something planned.

"N-no, I'll be f-fine." I went to stand but fell back into his arms that thankfully caught me before hitting the ground.

"You can't even stand Bella, let alone walk. Here jump on," he half laughed, getting down below me, so he could carry me out to my father's cruiser outside.

"I'll hurt y-you J-jacob."

He looked back at me once again smugness lighting his lips and eyes. "Are you forgetting? I'm not so breakable now Bells. Now climb on before I make you."

I rolled my eyes at him, giving into his wishes. I wrapped my arms around him tightly, feeling like I was going to fall, but I knew better than to think that Jacob of all people would let that happen to me. He looked over his shoulder to me with a smile, lifting me up farther onto his shoulders, so that I was basically standing on his shoulders. I felt even more unsafe on his shoulders with nothing to hold on to; at least before I had his shoulders and neck to wrap my arms around. I felt like screaming. Him been six foot tall was enough, but with my height on top of his, it was over whelming for me.

I felt his hands softly grip below my knees, making sure that I couldn't fall. He walked into the lounge room and both my father and Billy's face was full of surprise and shock. I felt red in the face as they both looked up to me. Their eyes full of questions to what was going on with us.

He walked outside with me, Charlie stayed inside talking to Billy for a while longer. Easily he opened the car's door for me and carefully plopping me down into the cruiser. I looked up to him from the corner of my eye and then looked away when his gaze caught mine. I could feel that the redness was back in my cheeks and face. His hand ran slowly down the side of my face, pulling my hair away from my cheeks

"I'm going to be around the house all night, so if you want me just yell out okay?" he said almost silently in a husky tone.

"I-I don't need a baby sitter Jake."

"None sense. I'm here for you no matter what Bella."

I nodded and looked out the back window, seeing Charlie was on his way out.

"T-thanks Jacob," I smiled again and hugged him tightly.

"Night Bella." His hand brushed down the side of my face again and then he closed the cruiser's door as Charlie got in. I waved him goodbye as we started to roll down the driveway onto the road. I was glad that he didn't ask a thing of what happened today. When we got home I walked inside and into my room, getting into bed and going to sleep. I wasn't worried about changing my clothes and getting the ocean's water off of me, I just wanted to sleep. I guess almost losing my life to my own stupidity made me so tired.

I couldn't believe that every time that I spent time with Jacob, I had another dreamless night, and I was thankful for that, but sometimes I did dream and it wasn't about Edward anymore, it was about Jacob, always. We were together, happy, in a world where Edward didn't ever exist. It was a world that I could get used to, one where everything between us was right. I loved him how I should and he loved me like he always had and was. I wanted to stayed in that world forever, and be with Jacob in the world that was ours. I really could see myself living like my dream, but that would be impossible in the real world. We couldn't ever make a life like my dream. It was too perfect, but that didn't stop me from wanting it. I only had Jacob left in my life, so what was so hard about accepting him?

My eyes flashed open with a gasp, realizing what I needed to do. I was going to make things right with Jacob. After all he had done for me and was still doing for me, it was the least I could do for him. I did love him and I should have seen it sooner. I had to see Jacob as soon as possible!

I looked out the window, seeing that it was a dull warm summer's day outside as I got dressed into a black tank top and jeans, running downstairs, past the kitchen and outside. I could hear my father greeting me good morning as I passed, but I didn't really care, I just had to see Jacob. That was all that mattered to me today.

I drove quickly to La Push and was driving past first beach, when I saw Jacob down at the beach alone, looking out to the horizon. From the distance that I was at, he seemed to be sad, but he wouldn't be like that for long. I smiled at the thought of how happy he would be when I told him.

I cut the engine and started to carefully run down to him. I couldn't help but think of how happy he will be when I told him how I felt and how I wanted things to be between us both.

"Jacob!"

He turned and smiled with the sight of me, but he seemed surprised. "Hey, what are you doing here so early?"

I hadn't even taken any notice to what time it was. It was still dawn, still almost dark as midnight. No wonder it looked like a dull summer's day when I looked out the window. I couldn't help but wonder how I hadn't noticed it was still dark until now. I shook my head, not answering his question. I just wanted to tell him everything.

"Jacob…" my voice was weak. I guess admitting my feelings for him was going to be harder than I first thought. I could feel his eyes on me, waiting for the rest of the words to come out. "You've been there from the start Jacob. You've been my best friend for far too long and…" I looked down and away from him for a second, pausing to get what I wanted to say to him out right and the way I wanted to explain things to him. "…I love you far too much just to stay friends for another second. I know I've hurt you, but please Jacob I want us to be more than just friends. I'm sorry for what I've done in the past but-" He cut me off midsentence, placing his finger over my lips to stop my mumbling and rambling. I looked up at him. He was smiling widely. He was smiling my smile that I had missed so much since he had changed.

"Yes," he murmured. "I love you too."

I looked up to him with wide eyes. He accepted me, even with how I had treated him in the past. Even know I was broken into a million pieces and he could never fix me like his car and motorbike, but could make me better. He accepted the way I was and loved me. Tears swelled up in my eyes as what he had just said to me sank in. I looked up to him, my mouth dropped open in shocked. I couldn't believe how forgiving he was. I wiped the droplets of tears from under my eyes with the back of my hand, smiling at him. He shook his head from side to side, eyeing me with the same smile as he had before. "What?"

"I just can't believe it."

"Why not?"

"After all I've done to you…"

"I told you that I would wait for you," he murmured. "And that I would never give up."

It was true, he had waited for me and he never gave up for a second. He was always there for me no matter what I did. I couldn't believe after all that I had done, he always forgave me. He was incredible like that. I don't know if I was him that I could ever forgive for what I had done, especially to everything that I had done to him. It hurt me just to think of what I had done to him. I shook my head with tears in my eyes, smiling still with hearing what he had said. He was too sweet.

"I want to take things slow but."

I half giggled at what he said. "Slow? You tried to kiss me last night and didn't even think of this yesterday. Hell I didn't even want this yesterday."

"I've always known that you loved me Bella. I can sense the way I make you feel. I just wanted you to realize it. I thought if I kissed you that you would realize it sooner… But I didn't need to, apparently."

I gazed at his face, seeing a hint of red in his cheeks. I couldn't believe it! He was embarrassed, but I knew that he wouldn't ever admit it if I asked. Jacob was too proud of a person to admit something like that.

I leant into his side, feeling his arms wrap around me in a secure hug as we both watched the sunrise over the mountains of La Push. The sky was lit in bright oranges, red, pinks, purples and blues. The moon was still up, but it was going down quickly as the sun was coming up. The sky wasn't just lit up by the rising sun, but the stars were also lighting up the sky, like a bright candles in the sky. I sighed and leant into him more. I loved the feeling of his arms wrapped tightly around me like they were and watching the sun rising with him. I couldn't think of a better moment in my life than the one that was happening. Even my memories of Edward didn't compare to this. I couldn't believe that things were changing between us so quickly. I didn't even think that it was possible for things to be going as quick as they were. I already was forgetting Edward, but I didn't understand how I was? After so long of missing Edward suddenly Jacob had filled the hole that had hurt me for so long, for months on end, almost a year of my life had been lost to someone who didn't even want me anymore. I should have realized things sooner. It would all be better for all of us.

I heard him sigh sadly, letting go of me a little to how he had been holding me so tightly before. I looked up to him, wondering what was wrong.

"I got to go. They will be wondering where I am again."

I nodded sadly, understanding that he had to go wither we liked it or not.

"I'll see you later back at your place, kay?" He was already a few meters away from me as he spoke.

"Okay," I smiled and nodded.

"I love you."

"I love you too." I smiled again, watching him run off and then phase into a beautiful russet wolf. I felt disappointed that he couldn't stay with me for the day, but at least I knew he would be back later.

I headed back to my truck, turning it on and started the short drive home. I felt incredible to what I had done this morning. It felt like a great weight had been taken off of my shoulders that I had been holding for ages. I wondered how long I had loved Jacob and not realized it. Maybe I had been meant to be with him the whole time and not Edward. Whatever it was, I was happy with what was happening in my life now. I smiled at the thought of it all happening before my eyes.

I turned the last corner before seeing my house and then a familiar vehicle in the driveway that wasn't my fathers. My heart fell soon as I seen it. Everything had been going so well with Jacob, up until now. I didn't know what I wanted now.

I pulled up in the driveway, seeing him and my father speaking in the doorway of my house. I bit my lower lip, not knowing how to feel or what to say. They both looked up at me. My father looking at me warily, most likely wondering what my reaction would be. And to be truthful, I didn't even know what it would be.

"Bella," Edward said my name slowly. "We need to talk."

I glared up at him. "I don't want to talk Edward." I pushed past him and went into the house. He went to follow me in, but my father stopped him. I was grateful that my father was a cop at this time.

"You heard her Edward."

"I just need five minutes, please." He looked at the two of us. I rolled my eyes, pursing my lips so he knew that I really didn't want five minutes with him, but I guess if that was what was going to make him leave sooner, I would just have to take it. I stepped outside, nodding at Charlie when he looked at me, wondering if I wanted to be felt alone with him. I knew whatever Edward had or wanted to say to me, it couldn't be said in front of my father.

Charlie stepped inside and left us in peace to talk. I glared up at Edward, not forgiving him for leaving me so long ago and only coming back now. But I had to say, I was surprised that he came back.

"What do you want?" I asked bitterly.

"I need you back and to stay with us Bella."

"Yeah right!" I scoffed too loudly. "Like that's going to happen Edward!"

"The Volturi have found out about us Bella. If you don't come and stay with us, they will come here and either kill you or change you."

"Well you don't have to worry about me Edward, because I have Jacob now. And unlike you, he does truly love me."

"Bella, you don't understand. If you don't come with me, you'll most likely die, along with everyone you know. It's the rules of the Volturi, we can't change them."

I looked away from him that had really caught me. I knew that I was safe with Jacob, but that didn't mean that he was safe with me or my family. Why was it that my past kept haunting me? Why couldn't my past just stay in the past? It wasn't fair!

"And if I don't? What's the full story?" I crossed my arms tightly around my chest, not liking what I was hearing.

"One of the Volturi guards Victoria has been watching each of your actions and can see who your with, been human or… our kind. If she doesn't see you with me or one of us, she will come for you."

"What about the others of the Volturi?"

"She is the only one that does their work that involves killing or changing, unless it's a big problem, and then they all would attend in the resolving of the problem."

My tough act had all been just that, an act. I still loved Edward and there was no denying it. I didn't know what to do, but I had to protect Jacob and everyone else and if Edward wanted me back, I would accept him back in my life.

I nodded and a tear slipped down my cheek. "I've missed you so much Edward!" I cried as he grabbed me and held me tight.

"I'm sorry I left. I thought that you would be safer without us in your life after what happened with Jasper. I'm so sorry, I won't leave again."

"Yeah right!" I heard someone state in a hiss. I looked up and saw Jacob, standing on the side of the road, shaking violently. How long had he been listening?

"Jake," I said almost silently. I let go of Edward and ran up to him, grabbing the side of his arm as he went to walk off again. "Jacob stop!"

He turned bitterly towards me, still shaking and his jaw clenched. "No Bella. I'm done. I've had enough of this. You either choose me or him. I don't know what you want from me, but until you do, you won't see me, if ever again. Goodbye Bella."

His words hurt me greatly, but it was his face that hurt me the most. He was pained by my actions. I had hurt him yet again. I had broken his heart. I could see it in his eyes that seemed to have tears in them. I had lost him, for what this time felt like forever. I didn't think that he would ever change his mind on me. He had always said that he would wait for me. Always said that he wasn't going to give up and that he was the one that was better for me to Edward, but I hadn't believed him.

He pulled harshly away from me, running off and then phasing, running too fast for me or anyone else to see him running. I didn't think that I would see him again. I was sure that I wasn't going to and with that thought of losing Jacob for good, an even bigger hole was punched into my chest than the one Edward had made. And at that point, I realized who I loved more and I had just lost him.

I dropped to my knees, crying as I felt Edward's cold hand on my shoulder. "Come on let's go back to the house."

I threw his hand off of my shoulder, standing up and facing him for the last time. "No Edward! I don't care about the Volturi. They can kill me, because Jacob had been the one who was always there for me! You were the one that left! Not him! And now because you have come back, I've lost him!"

I ran into the house crying. I was emotionally unstable. I didn't know what to do, what to say or know who to be with. All I knew was that I loved Jacob Black more than Edward Cullen and I didn't want to give up on him, but until then, I guessed that I would have to be with Edward or one of the others for safety. Just when things looked like they were getting better, they all fell apart for me.