Author: theshinykitty

Warning: Lots of cursing. I went 'bastard'-crazy… hehehe… also some shounen-ai. SasuNaru

Disclaimer: Naruto me no own.

::falling in love is a like a spiral; you keep going in circles, but with each moment, you fall closer toward the center, and each other::

uzumaki/spiral

You know that feeling... that feeling when you see someone and immediately think, 'this guy... this is not my kinda guy'.

Well, you magnify that feeling by a million times, and what you get is seeing that person, and wanting to feed them into a wood chipper.

Oh yeah, and THAT'S the feeling I get every time I see... HIM.

'Che, smug bastard and his 'holier than thou' attitude.

He thinks he's so great JUST because he's the top in every one of his classes, and JUST because he always gets the girls, and JUST because everybody loves and adores him and would gladly take a bullet for him if a deranged madman ever tried to shoot him.

Okay... maybe that does make him kinda great.

But the point is, that that deranged madman would fall in love with him at first sight and decide that he could not harm his precious angel. He would just kill everybody else who comes within 10 meters of HIM.

Wait... what?

Okay, my schizophrenia aside, the point is, I HATE HIM.

Who, you ask?

That... ugh... thing over there...

UCHIHA SASUKE.

Sitting there with his... I dunno... hair, and his... y'know... skin... and his over make-up'ed 'fan club'. If that's what you call a swarm of deranged girls drooling over some guy and going through his tighty whiteys. Okay well I guess that IS what's called a fanclub, a Japanese one at least. I dunno what American fangirls are like, but I really don't want to know.

So anyways, let me give you a quick, and teensy bit biased description of the bastard, so you can hate him as much as me.

Ok, first, if there's one thing that stands out about him (and trust me, there's lots), it's his freakishly pale skin. Jesus, you would think he wears an anti-sun suit whenever he decides to venture outside, or goes near an open window.

Next, it's his freakish eyes. It's like, if you look in them, then you'll get sucked into his own personal pool of despair. I guess that's why those girls always get 'lost in his eyes'... or some crazy crap like that.

Then after that, it's his freakish clothing. I mean, there's nothing odd about the clothes design, (school uniforms; mandatory, damn Rock-em Sock-em Robots at City Hall...)

but... the uniform on him... it's like... neat. Like he has a million in his closet, and after he wears a set for a day, he throws it away, and wears a new one the next day. I mean, take my uniform for example. MULTIPLE stains, frayed edges, and of course, UN-tucked in shirt. What kind of sick, sick man wears shirts tucked in?!

So, yeah.

And then there's his attitude, I already kinda explained about it, but I'm going to do it again, just 'cause I hate him ever so much, and I won't waste a single opportunity to bitch about him.

Okay, we already covered that he's great, but it's like he doesn't even care! He just sits there non-chalantly, staring into space while his fan club fights over who he likes best in the background.

FEH! I would kill to get some attention! All I got is my lazy ass friend Shikamaru. (Call him Shikky, he hates it. Just do it, it's really funny).

AHEM! So yeah... I hate him.

Oh wait, I forgot one thing.

Hi. I'm Uzumaki Naruto, at-your-service, knight-in-shining-armor, ninja extordinaire!

Oh, yeah, ninja. Yeah, well, me, Shikamaru, and the King of Bastards all attend Konohagakure Military Academy.

No, we're not delinquents. Konohagakure Military Academy, or Konoha Academy for short, we learn how to be... well... ninjas. But class here isn't all taijutsu and muscle training AN: In this world, there is no genjutsu or ninjutsu, oh no, it's much more; history, math, language arts, art, music, the WHOLE shitter. Y'know, so we know how to 'adjust to the situation, depending on the mission'. Art and music I understand, but FLOWER ARRANGING?! Seriously, WTF? When the hell are we ever going to need flower arranging?!

'Why, hello Nakamura-san! I have this lover-ly bunch of nicely arranged flowers for you!'

'Oh, why thank you Uzuma- ARGH!' dies

'Hah! Take that! I put deadly flowers in that beautiful arrangement!'

Okay, seriously.

So... flower arranging. That's the class I'm in right now. Sitting next to my best friend (currently asleep), and staring at that chicken's butt-haired bastard.

Why am I staring at him? Shiit. Okay, back to arranging flowers.

So, now I'm sitting here, wondering what the hell a 'chrysanthemum' is, and whether or not it goes next to the roses, or the goddamned tulips, when all-of-a-sudden, the bastard supreme walks up to me.

"Uzumaki, we need to talk."

Hehehehe…. Okie…. Wow, one chapter done…. ARGH! Its my second fanfic… poo…

SO, read and review please!

Helpful criticism welcomed. Flames will be used to make me cry T-T.