My cries are stifled by my parents arguing

My cries are stifled by my parents arguing. I only cry when I'm alone so I can show no weakness. I know, it's emotionless but it helps me get through everything.

"Don't you dare talk about me in front of my kids that way! You little bitch!" slap!" That will teach you some control in this house!" my father said angrily.

"Honey, you're drunk please this isn't solving anything…." Mrs. Truscott said while crying.

"You're a woman, you should know your place not to talk back to me! Women are good for only one thing and that's sex! Get the hell away from me , I can't stand to look at such a dishonorable wife. You disgust me." He threw her into the wall, and carefully walked up the steps. "Lilly... Where are you darling?"

I stood with my back against the door looking for a place to hide from my father; I went into the closet as fast as I can. He opened the door and locked it behind him… its dark very dark.

"Ohh your hiding from me aren't you, well I'm not gonna hurt you Lilly, you're my daughter, I want to protect you. You know that honey! His voice got louder has he opened my closet door, dragged my arm and pushed me onto the bed. He got on top of the bed and said "You never learn, don't you know that I always win?"

I put my arms around my chest as he tried to take off my shirt…. Instead he just ripped off my shirt, pulled down my skinny jeans and looked at me. I resisted as much as I could but he's too strong for me.

"You know, your really beautiful, tonight is the night that you give me what I want." He pulled down his jeans and boxers and whispered in my ear "Family members give each other favors to get them happy right? Just look at this as a favor to me, right?" I didn't reply and he got angry.

"RIGHT!" he stated as he thronged himself into me again this week.

"Uh huh" it stifled my cries and he kept pushing into me as I cried softly on the inside. I wanted this to stop, but he didn't.

As he got off the bed he said

"That's right you stupid whore, the only thing your good for is sex and sex only. Your fat, you don't have any common sense and you act like a little child. I don't think any man would want to when you get older. You're pathetic."

He got out of the room as I went into my private bathroom and looked at myself. I saw a depressed girl with blue eyes just like the ocean, blond tangled hair in my face, pudgy nose and a small top lip, and a full bottom lip. I sighed

"Nothing I do is ever good enough, I'm not good enough, my life is useless, and I don't belong in this world. How come some people have the life? Why so some people like me have to suffer? Was that my purpose in the world? How come people like Miley can have everything in the world? Perfect skin, perfect body, perfect hair, perfect pop star life, where do I come in? When is it my turn to be perfect? Why can't I have a father that gives me loco hot coco when I'm not in a good mood? Why can't I have a life like miley? WHY CAN'T I BE PERFECT?" I cried softly into my towel in the bathroom. I looked at myself in the mirror again

"Im never going to be perfect." I opened the drawer and pulled out a razor and pressed against my hip bone making a light red mark, it took some of my pain away and placed in into a little razor. I had control of something in my life, and it's in the palm of my hand. I took my towel and pressed it against my hip bone with all the marks.

That's my goal in life, I want to be perfect. I'll do anything to get there, even if it means disguising a content look to everyone else, I'll do it. I sear I'll keep my word to it.

Hi guys, I tried to make this as realistic as possible so please review! Thanks luv ya!

xoxoxoxMariexoxoxox