So this one-shot was inspired by a conversation I had with my "NCIS Tate Twin" pen named WhatIf05…
Here we go! Enjoy! :-)
I DO NOT own NCIS or anything related to it
Arriving to work, Tony is in a daze as he throws his things down and flops down at his desk. He runs his hands over his eyes.
"You can do this, Tony! Just get through today!" he whispers to himself.
"Gear up!" shouts Gibbs as he approaches Tony, carrying his signature cup of coffee. "We got a dead Marine."
Ziva and McGee begin to gather their things to leave. Tony remains still in his seat.
Gibbs stares at Tony and recognizes the look on his face. "DiNozzo!"
Tony jumps up at the sound of his name.
"Gear up."
Still lost in a daze, Tony opens his desk drawer and grabs his gun. Grabbing his backpack off the floor, he slowly makes his way towards the elevator to join McGee and Ziva.
Gibb walks over and stand near Tony. "You going to be okay today, Tony?"
"Yeah, Boss."
The tone of Tony's voice tells Gibbs that he himself doesn't even believe what he just said. Even McGee takes notice of Tony's demeanor.
At the crime scene, the team finds the body of the Marine seated upright in a chair, riddled with bullets. Gibbs assigns Ziva to photos while he sends Tony and McGee searching for any bullets that may have passed through the Marine's body. Tony quietly searches the floor. He reaches down and picks up the small, shiny piece of metal, staring at it as it rolls back and forth in his palm.
"Shooter!"
Without hesitation, Kate jumps in front of Gibbs catching a bullet square in the chest before falling to the ground. Gibbs fires several rounds into the doorway taking down the gunman. Tony stands motionless as he looks to the ground at his still partner.
"Kate?" Tony's heart pounds in his chest as he rushes to her side. Turning her over, he unzips her jacket to see the shiny metal bullet lodged in the Kevlar vest and breathes a sigh of relief. "You okay?"
"I just got shot at pointblank range, DiNozzo, what do you think?" groans Kate.
"You're not going to Pilates class tomorrow? And that wasn't pointblank range!"
Gibbs gets on the headset. "McGee, get air support. We got a sniper!"
"Stay down, Kate!"
Kate groans. "Ahh, this hurts!"
"You find anything, Tony?"
The sound of McGee's voice shakes Tony.
"I found a casing." He hands the bullet to McGee. "Here, bag it and tag it, I'm going to step outside for some air."
Tony leaves and makes a B-line for the NCIS truck. Sitting on the bumper he rests his head on the back of the truck. He closes his eyes as he takes a few deep breaths trying his best to focus his thoughts.
Gibbs stands by the door watching Tony. His attention is pulled away as the Marines body is wheeled out. Ducky stands near Gibbs and lets out a heavy sigh as spots Tony sitting on the truck.
"I see it has started," says the Doctor.
"Yep," replied Gibbs.
"How do you think he will handle it this year?"
Gibbs shrugs his shoulders. "I don't know?"
Gibbs walks over and joins Tony at the back of the truck.
"Boss, maybe I should go home. I'm not feeling too well."
"It will pass. I need you to go search our Marine's home with McGee."
"Boss, can't Ziva do it?"
"Nope! I want you to do it," replies Gibbs as he walked away.
Tony let out a frustrated groan.
Tony and McGee spend the better part of the early afternoon searching the Marine's apartment with little to no conversation between them.
"There's nothing out of the ordinary here," said McGee as he peeled off his gloves. "I think we can head on back?"
Tony is frozen in his tracks, staring at the sofa.
Kate lays on the sofa, an ice pack resting on her abdominal where she was hit.
"You know Gibbs just told you to make sure I got home okay, he didn't say you had to say!"
Tony walks over and sits next to her. "Consider this payback for nagging me during my stay at Bethesda when I had the plague."
"You just wanted to get inside my apartment!"
Tony flashes a flirty smile. "You okay?"
She lets out a nervous laugh. "I've never been shot before. Hurts like hell!"
"You'll probably have a bruise for a while so I wouldn't enter any wet t-shirt contests anytime soon," chuckles Tony as he leans over Kate and looks into her hazel eyes. "Today was kind of scary, huh?"
"You have no idea. I thought for sure I was shot."
"Close calls like that make you think about things. I know I had a lot on my mind when I was sick with the plague. I started thinking about how fragile life is and how I really need to start being honest about how I feel with people because tomorrow isn't guaranteed."
"Yeah, it does!"
Silence comes between them as they look into each other's eyes. Out of nowhere Kate leans in and kisses Tony softly on the lips.
Tony pulls away in shock. "Kate?"
"Sorry! I um…I…I really don't know why I just did that?"
Tony takes a moment before he leans in and kisses Kate. They close their eyes and wrap their arms around one another as if this was the most natural thing in the world.
"I know why I did that!" smiles Tony.
"Tony?"
Tony looks up to see McGee standing next to him.
"You okay?"
"I gotta hit the head," says Tony as he heads for the bathroom.
Tony splashes water on his face as he looks into the bathroom mirror.
"Come on, DiNozzo! Shake it off!"
Looking at his reflection in the mirror, he feels like he doesn't even recognize the person looking back. The usually happy and upbeat field agent has been replaced by a sad figure of man, tired and worn down despite a full night's sleep. His eyes go to the shower at the side of the bathroom and a smile crosses his face.
"Sexy as I wanna be
Got these fella chasing me
Let's go with this freak show…"
"Outrageous!" Tony joins in with Kate's singing as he finishes brushing his teeth in the bathroom mirror.
Kate steps out of the shower, wrapped in a towel, her hair pulled up in a messy bun. The music continues to play as the two dance towards each other in the bathroom. Tony wraps his arms around Kate and kisses her.
"Morning!" smiles Kate.
"Morning. Sleep well?"
"What sleep I did get,' replied Kate flirtingly as she kissed Tony.
Tony smiles, "I told you my performance during our undercover op as husband and wife wasn't just an act!"
"You snore, Tony!"
Tony kisses Kate again. "Sure I do? What do you say we go in the bedroom and I "snore" some more?"
The two begin to kiss each other passionately.
Kate pulls away. "We can't! We're going to be late!"
"We've been late before, what's the big deal?"
"Gibbs is going to suspect something is up!"
"We've been dating for months now, Kate? I'm pretty sure he's on to us!"
Tony leans into kiss again only for her to block his kiss with her finger.
"Maybe later?"
The smile that covered Tony's face quickly fades to frown. Letting out a heavy sigh, he turns off the water and dries his face with a hand towel before exiting the bathroom.
Tony and McGee enter into the Bullpen to find Gibbs and Ziva staring at a photo I.D. on the plasma.
"Who's that?" asks Tony, trying to put on an interested face.
"The last person to see our Marine alive. Tony, you and Ziva go talk to him. See what he knows?" orders Gibbs.
"But I just came from searching the house!"
"So?"
Tony rolls his eyes as he turns on his heels and heads towards the elevator followed by Ziva.
"He seems to be doing better, Boss," says McGee.
Gibbs just stares at McGee. "The day isn't over, McGee."
Tony and Ziva walk up the pathway to the quaint little house. Tony knocks on the door.
"Come I help you?" asks the man as he answers the door, brush in hand and paint splatted on his jeans and t-shirt.
"Special Agents David and DiNozzo, NCIS. May we come in?" says Tony, bluntly.
"Yeah, sure. My wife and I were starting to paint, hope you don't mind?"
"Not at all."
The man steps aside as Tony and Ziva enter into the living room. The smell of paint immediately fills Tony's nostrils.
"I don't understand why you want to paint the room this color?" asks Tony as he opens the paint can.
"I think it's pretty!" says Kate as she spreads the cloth over the floor.
"Robin's Egg Blue? Okay, what was wrong with Ohio State Red again?"
Kate cuts her eyes at Tony.
"Robin's Egg Blue isn't that bad?"
Kate tilts her head and smiles as she hands Tony a paint roller.
"So where shall we start, Mrs. DiNozzo?" smiled Tony.
"Just paint the wall, Tony!"
Tony and Kate begin to smear the blue paint on the wall.
"You know once you put it on the wall, it doesn't look so bad!"
"It's supposed to have a calming effect. I hope it works for the baby?"
Tony stops painting and looks at his wife. "What baby?"
Kate says nothing she only smiles.
"Oh my god! Kate, are you?"
Kate nods yes.
Tony can't contain his smile as he drops his roller and picks up Kate and kisses her. "We're going to have a baby!"
"Tony!" shouts Ziva.
"Yeah?" answers Tony in a fog.
"We can go."
Tony nods his head at the couple before exiting the house.
"Are you okay, Tony?" asks Ziva as they walk towards the car.
"Why?"
"You seemed distracted in there?"
"I wasn't distracted, Ziva. I was focused. I heard everything he said."
Out the corner of his eye he watches as man bend to the ground while a small child runs into his open arms.
Tony watches as Kate lets go of their daughter's tiny arms as she takes her first, wobbly step towards him.
"Come on, Kelly! Come to Daddy!" cheers Tony as he waits for her with open arms.
Kate stands behind her waiting to catch her if she falls. "Go Kelly! Walk to Daddy!"
Tony smiles at my wife as they both watch the one year old take another step. A gummy smile takes over her face as she catches her stride and walks into Tony's arms, laughing. He wraps her into my arms, placing a kiss on her dark, brown hair, just one of the many traits she gets from her mother. Kate stands a few feet away glowing with pride.
"Okay, Kels! Let me see you walk to Mommy!"
Tony stands Kelly up and watches careful as Kelly makes her way back to Kate. Scooping her up in her arms, Kate gives Kelly a kiss on the cheek. She has Kate's smile.
"Tony! Are you going to get in the car?" asks Ziva.
"Sorry," sighs Tony as he slides into the car.
The trip back to NCIS seemed to take forever. Finally at his desk, Tony throws his head back to swallows the aspirin he hopes will relieve his headache. He leans back in his chair and stares at the ceiling.
"Being in charge of your own team isn't as easy as you thought, huh?"
Tony sits up to find Kate sitting on the edge of his desk smirking.
"You don't know how bad I want to slap one of them in the back of the head!" groan Tony, through his teeth.
"That's assault! We learned that in our "red lights and green lights of sexual harassment" training. Remember?"
"Gibbs use to do. Seemed to be pretty effective?"
Kate laughed. "Try as you might, you're not Gibbs. And the Director probably wouldn't approve of that type of behavior from a senior field agent!"
"So look away!"
Kate smiled. "Speaking of Gibbs, don't forget we are having dinner at his and Jenny's place tonight to celebrate Abby and McGee's engagement!"
"Who would have thought Gibbs would get married for the fourth time? I hope it works out with him and Jenny. I like her."
"I have meetings until six, do you think you could pick up Kelly from school?"
"Sure."
"I'll call the babysitter and tell her to have Tony, Jr. ready when you get there."
"Okay," says Tony as he stands up and kisses Kate.
"Tony, not at work!"
"What? Everyone already knows I'm sleeping with the Director!"
Kate tilts her head to the side in annoyance.
"Don't get comfortable, DiNozzo! Ducky wants to see us in autopsy!" spits Gibbs as he walks past Tony's desk.
Tony sits up and runs his hands over his eyes, regaining his focus before following behind Gibbs.
Down in autopsy, Ducky talks to the team about the Marine but Tony doesn't hear a word. His eyes are fixed on the body that lays half out the autopsy drawer. He feels his heart start to race in his chest.
Tony steps through the double doors into the dark autopsy room. He flicks on the light as he makes his way over to her. He pulls open the lock and feels the cool air rush out. He doesn't look as he slides out the cooling table. He takes deep breath as he looks upon her body. She looks peacefully as she lays there. He takes in every ounce of captivating beauty, a sight he had grown to love over the past two years and one he had hoped to enjoy much longer than this. While his heart sinks in his chest, his feels his blood boiling inside his veins as he looks upon her pieced forehead, the only imperfection on her angelic face. He feels his body shaking, wanting to breakdown but fight off the feeling. He has to remain strong and focused for the sake of the case and for Kate.
Ducky, McGee and Ziva watch from outside autopsy.
"What's wrong with him?" asked Ziva. "He's been staring at that empty autopsy drawer for thirty minutes?"
"It's May 24," sighs McGee.
"Okay?"
"It's the anniversary of Kate's death."
"I know. Why is he acting so strange? It's like he's been in smog all day!"
"It's fog, Ziva. And if you haven't noticed he gets like this every year."
"It has been years since she was killed. I do not understand why he is still holding on to her?"
"You will never understand, my dear," replies Ducky.
Gibbs approaches Tony, staring at him, waiting for him to make the first move.
"You were making me do all that running around today to keep my mind busy, weren't you?" asks Tony, never looking at the senior field agent.
"Did it help?" asks Gibbs.
"No. I thought it's supposed to get easier with time?"
"It is. Doesn't mean it does. We all deal with these types of things in their own way, on their own time. It's okay to miss her, Tony. We all do."
"I watched her die, Gibbs. I saw that bullet hit Kate! I watched her lifeless body fall! I felt her blood all over my face!"
"It haunts you, Tony. I understand…"
"You don't understand, Boss! This is worse than haunting. You weren't there when Shannon died or even when Jenny was killed. You didn't have to watch the woman that you love die. I did!"
Gibbs says nothing.
"I try every year not to think about her. But everywhere I go and anything I do makes me think about Kate. Everything she was, what she could have been…what we could have been." Tony laughs. "I have daydreams about the life I could have had with a woman who died seven years ago! And the dreams feel so real sometimes I wish I didn't have to wake up from them! But I do! I wake up and I feel empty. I feel like there is a hole and all I want to do is close it! I may not ever be able to fill it but why can't I close it? You think I'm insane, don't you, Boss?"
Gibbs places his hand on Tony's shoulder. "Insanityisdoing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. You want to close that hole, why don't you try doing what you have never done before? Maybe you will find the closure you are looking for?"
Tony sits at his desk, watching the rain droplets glimmer like Christmas lights against the darkness of the night outside the window. It seemed to rain every year on this night.
"Tony?"
Tony turns to see Kate sitting at her desk, staring at him as she always did.
"How long are we going to do this, Tony?"
Tony just looks at her. The light in the darkness of the room, she looks the same as she did that day on the rooftop before she was shot.
"I'm gone, Tony. Let me go."
"I can't Kate! I can't forget you!"
"You will never forget me, Tony. But you have to let me go. These dreams are nice but they are just dreams. They can't change anything."
"At least this way, it never has to end."
"It's over, Tony. I'm not coming back! You have to accept that. You dreaming about me only makes it harder for you to do that! You want closure, Tony? Then let me go!"
"I can't let you go, Kate!"
"You've tried so hard to hide how you felt when I died that you never allowed yourself to grieve! It's okay to have emotions, Tony! It's okay to cry!"
Tony's lips start to quiver as Kate walks over Tony and wraps her arms around him. He embraces her resting his head in her dark hair.
"You don't always have to be tough, Tony. You can cry for me. It's okay."
He buries his face in her shoulder as tears start to fall harder than the rain.
"I just wish I had of told you how I felt about you when I had the chance."
"I loved you too, Tony."
McGee, Ducky and Gibbs watch Tony crying alone at his desk in the empty Bullpen. The elevator dings and Abby walks off and joins the group.
"Is Tony crying?" asks the Goth.
"Yeah, he is," says Gibbs.
"I was wondering when it would finally happen."
Gibbs lets out a heavy sigh. "Me too. It took him seven years but he finally found closure. He finally let Kate go."
What do you think? Reviews and comments are welcomed. :-)
*In case of confusion, the italics were Tony's daydreams.