Gravity Falls: Return to Weird
Alex Hirsch is the original creator [Obviously]
[None of this is canon to the Gravity Falls Series]
Chapter 1: Return to the Falls
Somewhere in the Pacific Ocean…
"Man, the sky sure is blue today." Stanley said to his brother, Stanford. They've been sailing the ocean for 3 years now. These old salty dogs were the best of friends, and even better brothers. They were standing on the deck staring out over the sides of the vessel into the great horizon. "You're right Stanley," Stanford stated. "And that water from the Fountain of Youth has made my eyes better." That was just one of the things they found on their many adventures. Sunken treasure, hidden temples, and even UFOs. They've seen almost everything. "I still keep thinking about…" Ford started. "Pipe it Sixer," Stanley said. "It's been three years. There's no more need to worry. Our family is safe." Stanley was referring to the day all was almost lost in Gravity Falls, and that day will forever be remembered by the Pines Family. "You're right. I wonder how Dipper and Mabel are doing." Ford said, forgetting what was close to being the end of the world. "They yesterday. They'll be in Gravity Falls in about a week or so for their Summer Vacation. I'm really looking forward to seeking those trouble makers again." Errily, the sky began to grow dark. "Aw come on," Stanley complained. "I just about to get my fishing gear." "Fishing will have to wait. I'll bet this is some sort of anomaly happening." Ford ran into the helm of the Stan 'O War II, excited to find another weird phenomenon existing in his world. Stanley reluctantly followed his nerdy brother. Ford sat down before his computer and quickly started tapping keys. As he typed, his smile of excitement slowly decayed into a frown of confusion and frustration. He continued to type until his face expressed immense concern. Stanley watched his brother struggle and his twin instinct told him something was bad. Either that or Stanley heard his brother muttering, "No, no, no, no, no, no…" "Hey Ford, what's the matter?" Ford shook his head disparagingly. He eyed his computer, making sure he knew what he was reading. "Stan," Ford said turning towards his brother. "We have go back to Gravity Falls immediately!" He lept up from his chair and started shoving papers into suitcases. "Ford buddy, calm down. What's going on?" Ford looked solemnly at his brother and said, "He's back."
"Welcome to the Mystery Shack!" Soos said as he opened the door to the shack. "You know no one is there, right Soos?" Melody said sweeping the floor. "Yeah I know. I'm just practicing for when people come." Soos had been successfully running the shack while Stan was gone. After the events of Weirdmageddon, the Mystery Shack had been drumming up way more business. "I must ensure that the legacy of Stan Pines is upheld!" Soos said posing triumphantly. He truly was a mirror image of Stan. Except he was bigger, nicer, and committed 100% less crimes. However, he did wear Stan's hat he left him 3 years ago, along with a suit that closely resembled Stan's. Melody gave her husband a hug and said, "I'm so proud of you Soos. But there aren't going to be many people coming here until Summer starts." "You're right." Soos closed the door and walked to the counter. "I just wish I could inspire someone like Mr. Pines inspired me." As he polished the jar full of eyes, the front door swung open and in walked a young man. He was tall and was wearing a shirt with a peanut logo on it. "Hey." He said nervously. "I'm looking for," He pulled a card out of his pocket and began reading. "Jesus Ramirez, owner of the Mystery Shack." Soos stood straight and saluted the boy. "I am Jesus Ramirez, sir!" He shouted. The boy gave an embarrassed laughed before continuing. "I should be calling you 'sir.' I would like a job here at the shack." Soos' eyes grew wide and he wrapped the boy up in a full embrace. "All of my dreams are coming true." He said almost tearing up. The boy, gasping for air, struggled in Soos' grasp. "Can… you let… me go?" He wheezed. "Sorry dude." He said releasing the boy. "So what's you name?" "My name is Billy Bryan Brownson. But everyone calls me 'Bill.'" Soos shuddered as he heard the name "Bill." He laughed to push away his fear. "Sorry dude. You must be new. People in Gravity Falls don't like the name 'Bill.' How about we call you…" Soos thought carefully for a nickname that wouldn't get Billy killed. "What about Bryan?" Soos exclaimed. "Hmmm… Sure. I like it." Billy said. "So," Soos loudly announced. "You will be known as Bryan, Manager's Assistant." "Don't you mean Assistant Manager?" Bryan asked. "No dude. You'll be assisting me,the Manager" He said pointing to himself. "So you'll be the Manager's Assistant." That's when the phone rang. "I'll get it!" Soos' new employee shouted. He dived over the counter and crashed into some snow globes. Melody raised an eyebrow at Soos. "He'll fit right in." Soos said happily. Bryan picked up the phone and said, "Thanks for calling the Mystery-" He was stopped mid-sentence by a tirade that Soos and Melody could clearly hear. "Who is this? Where is Soos?" The phone screamed. Soos snatched up the phone from Bryan. "Mr. Pines!" Soos yelled into the phone. "Soos, get the shack ready. I'm coming home. It's urgent." The phone clicked and Soos put the phone down on the counter. "Is everything OK Soos?" Melody asked. "I can't believe it." Soos muttered. "The Original Mr. Mystery is coming home!" Soos cheered. He explained to his new employee who the great Stan Pines was. However, as they talked, the clouds turned gray and a new evil force loomed over Gravity Falls. One that would change the lives of everyone who dared to oppose it.
On a bus in route to Gravity Falls…
"I can't believe we finally on our way back to Gravity Falls!" Mabel shrieked. She was sitting with her brother and pig at the back of the bus. "It seems like it's been forever since we saw everyone." Dipper was gazing out the window at the red-orange sky, imagining the chance he might now have with Wendy. Now that he was 16, he was much taller, his voice had gotten deeper, and he was a little less nerdy. He even had a facial hair. Until Mabel snatched it off for her scrapbook. "This is gonna be the best Summer Vacation Ever!" Mabel yelled. The bus driver swerved and glared at Mabel through the mirror. He was already mad that she managed to sneak a pig on the bus. "Keep it down. We're almost there." He said, looking forward to never seeing Mabel or that pig ever again. One man can only take so much singing and squealing and shrieking. "Calm down Mabel. I don't want to get kicked off the bus. How else will I get to see Wen-" He stopped and blushed slightly. "Really Dipper? Not this again." His sister sighed. His face grew even redder. "She's still three years older than you." "Maybe things'll be different. We were the same height last year so maybe…" Mabel face-palmed herself and shook her head. "You remember what she said when we were attacked by that shape-shifter three years ago. She just doesn't feel that way Dipper and I don't think height will change that. I'd hate for you to get disappointed again." Dipper was going make a smart comeback. 'She always obsesses over guys,' He thought. Still, deep down, he knew his twin was right. "You know what… I'm going to enjoy my summer, and no girl is going to ruin it for me. Thanks for the advice Mabel." He smiled at Mabel, and as he did, Waddles jumped into his lap a licked his face. "No problem Brobro." She said, laughing at her pig. "Get off Waddles!" Dipper yelled pushing the pig off. "No! You three! Get off!" The Bus driver yelled. Panic filled Dipper's chest. He forgot how strict the Bus driver was. Dipper shot up. "No, we're sorry sir! Please don't make us walk the rest of the way! We'll be quiet." He begged. But the Driver didn't want to hear it. "No! Off now!" "Please sir! We have to get to Gravity Falls!" Mabel cried. Even Waddles was squealing with panic. "This is Gravity Falls! This is your stop!" The driver rubbed his temples in attempt to sooth his frustration. "Oh, really?" Dipper said, now feeling embarrassed at his attempt to beg. "In that case," Mabel stood and shouted, "Open those door Driver! Our Destiny awaits!" Mabel said that jokingly, but little did she know that this summer would be even more dangerous than the first.
Dipper and Mabel exited the bus and retrieved their luggage from those weird side compartments that no one knows what to call. "Is Soos supposed to come get us?" Dipper asked. "I'm not sure." Mabel said looking down the trail that led to the shack. In the distance she saw the golf cart. "I think that's him there!" She said waving to the cart. "Either Soos lost a lot of weight or that's someone else." They watched until a kid about their age stopped the cart just in front of them. "Hi! I can't believe it's you guys!" The boy said leaping from the cart. He grabbed Dipper's hand and shook it vigorously. "I've heard a lot about you two." "Thanks…" Dipper said confusedly. "Who are you exactly?" The boy let go of Dipper. "Oh sorry. I'm Billy Bryan Brownson. But you can call me B-Bryan." Bryan smiled and the light glinted off his braces. "I'm Dipper and this is-" Dipper gestured to his sister, who hadn't blinked the whole time. She grabbed Bryan's arm and said, "Hi I'm Mabel! I'm sixteen, own a pig, and helped kill an evil extradimensional triangle! Wanna get married?" Bryan was taken aback at first, but, to spare the girls feelings, he laughed and said, "I'd like to go on a couple hundred dates first." He then reached for their bags. "May I?" "You may, Mr. Fancypants." Mabel answered as flirtatious a possible. As he was loading the luggage on the cart, "Isn't he so cool? He's like a perfect gingerbread man." "You just met the guy." Dipper complained. "You should get to know him better before you obsess over him." "And he even has braces! I bet he gets them stuck in trees and screen doors all the time." Now, Dipper face-palmed himself. "All aboard!" Bryan yelled from the cart, though he was barely 5 feet away from them.
Bryan rode in the back on the luggage with Waddles, while Dipper drove and Mabel rode shotgun. There was no talking on the way to the shack. The only sounds that were heard were from Waddles excited oinks. "Here we are." Dipper said as he made it to the Mystery Shack. The twins lept out of the golf cart and ran inside. Of course, Waddles followed. As they opened the door, "Surprize!" Welcome home!" Inside the shack were their closest friends. Wendy, Candy, Grenda, Lil Gideon, Soos, McGucket, Pacifica, Melody, and of course Stan and Ford. "Wow! We left home and got a 'Welcome Home Party.' There has to be some irony there." Dipper said greeting his friends with hugs. Dipper and Wendy switched hats upon seeing each other. Dipper took his Pine tree hat back and put it on. It was worn in some places, but it was too valuable to replace. Wendy put on her brown flap hat and smiled at Dipper. "You've gotten taller since last year dude." The 19 year old said looking him in the eye. "Yep…" Dipper said looking around. Mabel greeted Candy and Grenda with a "super group hug." "So, have you met the new hottie?" Grenda asked. "You mean Bryan? He's like a perfect cinnamon stick." Candy said. "He does seem pretty nice." Mabel was looking forward to hanging out with Bryan. After all, he did imply that they were going to go on couple hundred dates. Finally they made their way to Stan and Ford. "Grunkle Stans!" They all hugged. All four of them had been waiting for this moment since they parted ways last summer. "That's enough hugging for one day." Ford said breaking free from the massive embrace. "I think it's getting late. I'm going to go to basement to work on a few things." Ford pressed a button on a remote and the vending machine opened. Once he vanished down the staircase, the vending machine slid back in place. "I wonder why he left?" Dipper asked, curious about what his great uncle was doing. Ford rarely went into the basement whenever he came home. "Don't mind him," Stan said. "We got like fifteen pizzas and at least four gallons of Mabel juice. Let's party!" And so, for the rest of the night, they partied hard. It was the loudest party, second only to the big weekend party from three years ago. But while they were inside having fun, a chilling wind blew through the forest, as a mysterious being made his way into Gravity Falls.
Somewhere in Gravity Falls' Forest…
The sound of chains rattling and vain struggling echoed in within the concrete enclosure. It was a strange stone prison. No windows, no doors, just solid concrete. The only thing stranger than the prison was the prisoner. He thought of himself highly and he knew not why he was here in the first place. Sure, people called him eccentric, untrustworthy, maniacal, and plain old insane, but he thought he was a psychopathic visionary, whose actions, while sometimes unethical, were with the best of intentions. Infront of the prisoner opened an unnaturally white portal. "So it seems I've been sent to clean up your mess." A deep voice said through the portal. "Oh not you! I'd rather have someone bore my eye out." "That can be arranged." The figure said as he finally emerged from the portal, which closed behind him. "I can't believe you called out to The Master for help. And you had to spell his name out. I watched your defeat 20,000 times and hearing you spell out Axolotl gets funnier every time!" The being was laughing at the prisoner's incompetence. "Not everyone can talk like a narrator." "ACK-suh-LAH-tuhl. It's only a matter of simple pronunciation, my dear boy." The prisoner became enraged. "Don't call me 'boy!' I struggled to get where I am, while you were handed your power!" The being only laughed even more, to the prisoner's displeasure. "You struggled alright! Now look where you are. Trapped in a stone prison by a bunch of humans." The prisoner turned red with rage. "If… A-X-O-L-O-T-L had helped like we agreed on, I wouldn't be here." The being poked the prisoner in the eye with his finger. "If you had just died here, your molecules would have been reassembled back to our dimension Bill. You of all people should have known that Axolotl would trap you in this dimension." The evil triangle, Bill Cipher, hated to be deceived, though he loved to deceive others. Bill made a deal with Axolotl that if ever Bill's life was in danger he could call Axolotl and he would prevent him from dying. Technically, Bill wasn't dead so he wasn't really deceived. It still felt like it to him though. "I guess I'll finish where you left off." The being said as he opened a blue portal to his left. "No way you're going to take over. The humans in this town are stronger than you know!" "Bah! You simply play too many games. Once I have the opportunity," Floated closer to the portal. "Consider them all D-E-A-D! DEAD!"