title Thanks sooo much to everyone who gave me those amazing reviews for my last story, Drugmart (koffkoffreaditkoffkoff) Anyway, I was sitting at a friend's house (Neekabe and Morganeth... uh, i forget the last name. Sorry. Well, anyway, read their stuff, too.) when it dawned on me that a lot of freaky wierd stuff happens in Gundam. Maybe it was the setting, maybe it was the mood, maybe it was the fact that we had attempted to cram all 49 episodes of GW and Endless Waltz into a 24 hour timespan, but I came up with this list. Heeeere we go!!

If I Ever Become a Gundam Pilot….

- Bike shorts are the most indestructible form of clothing known to man. I will wear them at all times.

- If I ever fall out of my Gundam, I shall try to land on my head, for it is a scientifically proven fact that a gundam pilot's hair can absorb 100% of all shock administered to it.

- For the sake of my eyesight, I will avoid coming within striking distance of Trowa's hair.

- Ditto goes for Dorothy's eyebrows.

- I will not question why gravity only works when I want it to.

- I will keep a small twig or leaf on me at all times in case I need to hide my gundam in a hurry.

- I will avoid all organizations ending in 'Faction', 'Foundation' or 'Fang'. Come to think of it, I will make it easy on myself and just avoid all organizations ending in 'F'.

- For the sake of the viewer, I will refrain from saying the following words/phrases: a) injustice b) weakling c) emotions d) it's a gundam!

- I will not ask why most of the enemy soldiers sound like Wufei or Quatre. The answer is probably not something I would want to know anyway.

- I will locate Relena's imaginary friend and kill him. It's not good for a world leader to wander about talking to herself like that.

- I will hide Trowa's spray-on pants, hide behind something big, and watch the fun enfold as Catherine enters the room.

- Since bullet wounds, broken bones and other such injuries do not hurt the gundam pilots, I will carry a bottle of ultimate hold hair gel at all times.

- I will smack the crap out of Zechs Marquise, just because I bloody well can.

- I will secretly leave a monocle on Lady Une's bedside table and then wait to see what happens. If I'm lucky, it could be what wins us the war!

- I will not pass up the chance to honk Wufei's nose at least once per episode.

- In relation to the above, I will invest in a pair of very good running shoes.

- I will introduce Howard to solid colours.

- I will call a meeting of all the pilots and storm the censor's office. (If I have to hear the word 'dang' one more time…)

- I will spend all of my off time trying to seduce Duo Maxwell. Hell, maybe if I try hard enough, I might be able to collect the whole set!!!

That's it for now. If you like this, do tell me. Maybe if you like it, I'll do another…

Lady Phoenixdagger