A/N: Hey guys! Got another one-shot here for you! I was in a writing mood yesterday, so I just wrote this little tale up pretty quick. Actually, I think this is the fastest one-shot I've ever written. Usually, they take me at least a day to write, but this one only took a couple hours. This has been an idea of mine for a while now (as a matter of fact I have a whole book filled with one-shot ideas), so I really hope you guys enjoy it and get a few laughs out of it! Remember to favorite and review! :)
Disclaimer: I do not own Fire Emblem. All characters you recognize belong to Nintendo/Intelligent Systems.
It started off simply as a few sneezes here and there, followed by a chronic cough that just wouldn't seem to go away. The green-haired paladin brushed it off, though. He figured it would go away on its own soon enough. But after almost a week of suffering from what he thought was a common cold, Oscar had started vomiting on top of all his other symptoms. He was preparing breakfast one morning, and he found that the smell of eggs greatly upset his stomach. Unfortunately, he didn't discover this until he had set Soren's plate down on the table in front of him, and threw up all over the already-in-a-foul-mood mage. Shinon began cackling uncontrollably and wished he had some way to replay that moment over and over again. After giving the sniper the iciest stare he could manage, Soren turned to Oscar, whose face now matched his hair, and calmly suggested he go see Rhys.
The healer scribbled some of Oscar's information down as the paladin laid on Rhys' examination table and described his symptoms. After only a moment of thinking, Rhys was able to diagnose him. "I'm terribly sorry, Oscar, but I think you've caught the flu."
Oscar's face paled. "The flu?! But I can't be that sick!" Oscar attempted to sit up straight, but a spinning sensation in his head caused him to lie back down. He groaned a little. "But if I'm sick with the flu, who will cook the meals? Who will clean everything? Who will mend the clothes?" Oscar was starting to panic now. Rhys chuckled light-heartedly and placed a gentle hand on his forehead.
"I'm sure Mist wouldn't mind doing some of it. And perhaps your brothers could pitch in as well?" Rhys suggested, but Oscar only scoffed.
"Boyd and Rolf helping out? Surely you're joking, Rhys. They can't even wake up in the morning without me telling them to do so." He sighed and thought about it a little longer. "But maybe you're right. Doing a few chores around here could teach them to have some responsibility for once."
Rhys smiled. "Well, you should go back to your room and rest. I'll go tell Boyd and Rolf what is to be expected of them while you're ill." Oscar obeyed, and couldn't help but wonder how his brothers would react when they found out they actually had to do work. The thought made him laugh.
"What?!" Boyd and Rolf sputtered at the same moment, causing them to scowl at each other. Boyd had just come inside the fort from training, so he still had his axe in hand. Rhys took careful note of this, and kept his distance just in case the fighter did something rash.
"Oscar has the flu, so he would like the both of you to help out around here in his stead," Rhys repeated what he'd just told them, albeit a bit quieter, so as not to anger Boyd too much. "He thinks you should take this opportunity to learn to be responsible."
"But why can't Mist do it?" Rolf asked in a whiny voice. "And what about Titania? She's the woman around here, after all!" Boyd nodded his head completely in agreement.
"Come now, that's a little sexist, don't you think?" Rhys asked him. Boyd and Rolf looked to each other and gave a slight shrug of their shoulders.
"No."
Rhys' hand made contact with his face and he sighed. "Can you please just do this for Oscar? I know he would really appreciate it."
"But I already have a job!" Boyd complained. "I'm the designated firewood gatherer!" He swung his axe over his shoulder proudly.
"Boyd," Rhys said plainly. "It's summer. We don't really have a high demand for firewood right now." Boyd made a face and dropped his axe to his side. Rolf patted his brother's arm sympathetically. "Now, I think Mist would be more than willing to accept any kind of assistance she can get. She's the only cook in our group besides Oscar, so she's going to be needing some help with that, as well as other things."
Boyd and Rolf both groaned loudly. "Fine."
First on the boys' list of things to do was make dinner for the mercenaries. Mist agreed to run into town and get some meat for the stew, so she left Boyd and Rolf in charge of chopping up the vegetables. Rolf struggled at holding his knife properly, while Boyd complained about the dullness of his own. After a while, he got frustrated, and dumped the veggies on the floor, where he began hacking away at them with his axe.
"Boyd! What are you doing?" Rolf shouted at him. "You're gonna get them all dirty if you do that!"
"Shut up, peewee!" Boyd yelled. "I know what I'm doing!" Boyd raised his axe again, but just as he was about to come down with it, the blade popped off, and the butt of the axe flew backward across the room, where it struck an innocent Gatrie who had just come through the kitchen door.
"Ow, my nose!" the knight screamed in pain and covered his face with his hands. "Boyd, you really ought to be more careful!"
"Geez, Gatrie, I'm sorry!" Boyd apologized.
"It's alright. Just try not to take anyone else out, okay?" Gatrie said, then left the room in search of Rhys so that he might acquire a bandage.
"See what happens when you do that?" Rolf snapped, forcing his knife into Boyd's hand. "Finish chopping the vegetables. I'm going to start on the broth." Boyd snarled. Since when did Rolf get to be so high and mighty?
When Mist came back with the meat, she was shocked to see the kitchen in shambles. The wood on the counters was scratched where Boyd had tried cutting the vegetables. There was a mysterious liquid spilled on top of the stove. There were bits and pieces of carrots and celery on the floor. "What happened in here?!" she exclaimed, trying to take in the sight.
"We made dinner!" Rolf said happily, handing Mist the pot of broth and vegetables. "All you have to do is put the meat in now, right?"
Mist wasn't sure how she could say it without offending them. "Well...no. The meat has to be cooked first. Otherwise, Oscar won't be the only one sick."
Boyd looked like he was about to explode. "You mean we still have more to do?!" Mist nodded her head furiously, then put her face in her hands and ran out of the room, bawling.
"Boyd!" Rolf scolded. "You big ogre! You made poor Mist cry!"
"Whatever! Just dump the meat in the pot and let's get on with this!" He took the chunk of meat that Mist had left sitting on the table and dropped it into the odd-looking mixture. Rolf's face twisted into a look of disgust.
"Ugh. Remind me not to eat it."
"Umm...can I ask what this is?" Ike inquired nervously, staring at the bowl of stew in front of him. He looked over at Soren, who was curiously prodding a large piece of red meat in his bowl with a spoon. Everyone else was closely examining their food as well, except for Gatrie, who ate anything that, to him, looked edible.
"It's beef stew," Rolf said quietly, barely loud enough for anyone to hear.
"We made it ourselves!" Boyd put in. At this, Everyone dropped their silverware and turned away from their food, making dissatisfied noises. As for Gatrie, well, he emptied his guts all over Shinon.
Soren smirked. "Revenge is a dish best served cold. Or in this case, raw." He made a mental note to thank Boyd and Rolf later.
"I'll go get the stomach tonic," Rhys sighed.
Later on during the day, Titania had another task for the two boys. She asked them to help her clean out the stables, praying in the back of her mind that they would be able to handle this job. One face full of horse manure later, she was undoubtedly proved wrong.
"Hey, listen, Titania," Boyd began to apologize, hoping to avoid the ungodly wrath that Titania was capable of dishing out. "I'm real sorry that I smacked you with my shovel and caused you to fall forward into the manure pile." Titania said nothing, however, merely gave him the 'look,' while wiping the dung off her face with a cloth that Rolf handed her.
"This is madness!" She finally spoke up after about a minute of unsettling silence. "It's shameful how badly everything falls apart when Oscar's not here to reprimand you two!"
"Well he's the one that went and got sick! We can't help that!" Boyd shouted. Titania's face took on a furious expression.
"I can't believe you two!" she barked. "After everything that Oscar does for you and the rest of us, you still don't appreciate it! Why don't you try putting yourself in his shoes for once? I suggest you go and let him know how important he is to you, right now!" She forcefully stomped her foot on the ground, and the boys quickly ran off. Titania sighed as she put away the shovels. "I really hope they learn something from all this."
"You know, Titania does have a point," Rolf said as he and Boyd made their way to Oscar's room. "Oscar does everything for us, and we don't ever tell him 'thank you.'" Boyd seemed to contemplate his brother's words for a moment.
"I guess we're just so used to him taking care of us, we don't ever think about how demanding we are at times," he said, feeling truly guilty. "Man, I feel like a jerk."
"It's okay, Boyd," Rolf reassured, taking his brother's hand in his. "I do too."
When they reached Oscar's door, Boyd knocked gently. "Come in," Oscar's quiet voice answered from the other side. He smiled when he saw his little brothers behind the door. Both Boyd and Rolf noticed that he didn't look too good. His face was shiny from sweat and there were dark circles surrounding his eyes. He looked like he'd been to Hell and back. "Hey boys," he said thoughtfully, patting the bed beside him. Rolf happily sat down next to him, but Boyd opted to stand. "What brings you two in here?" he asked.
Rolf threw his arms around Oscar and began sobbing into his chest, catching him a little off guard. "Oh, Oscar!" he cried. "We're sorry! You're so nice to us and you're always there when we need you, but we never acknowledge that!" Rolf continued to cry, and Oscar patted him on the back.
Boyd sighed. "What the little twerp is trying to say is that we really do appreciate everything you do for us, and we're sorry for not letting you know that more often. We promise that from now on we'll do more around here so that you're not stuck doing everything." Oscar smiled and motioned for Boyd to join him and Rolf. Now, Boyd was not one to get emotional very often, but he allowed a few tears to leak out of his eyes. He sat down on the bed next to Rolf, and Oscar enveloped both of them in the warmest hug that only a big brother could give.
"I love you guys."
A/N: AWWWWWWWWW! Thanks for reading! I just love the three brothers so much! They're so hilarious and cute sometimes! :)