Author's Notes: I was only permitted to state 4 of the main characters for this story, however more character will become as crucial as the fic goes along - including two OCs. This story is Densi and Nallen, though more may emerge over time. The pace of this story (events, not chapter updates) will be gradual. Please be sure to read the notes at the end of this chapter, as they're also important.

For those of you who read my other NCIS: Los Angeles stories - this is simply a busy time of year/s. I still write content for the next chapters when I can, so updates are pending, but this story simply demanded to be written. It'll be one of those fics I can't stop writing, so be prepared for a lot of chapters and hopefully very regular updates. Also, thanks specially to G for being everything she is and more.

~ Taking a Chance ~

Kensi didn't make a sound, as she crossed the room in her socks, passing between her bedroom and the bathroom across the hall. The path was dulled by the night, but Kensi had visited the house enough to navigate the blackened space without difficulty.

She stepped inside the bathroom, and flicked on the light to blind out the darkness of the tiled room. Kensi slowly closed the bathroom door, and leaned her back against the cool surface of the wood. She exhaled a long breath, trying to release everything that emotionally swirled inside her. Kensi closed her eyes, and tilted her head back so her face was aimed at the ceiling. She stood there, unmoving, for a while – her body flooded with nervousness and confusion. More significantly, the memories began to entangle her mind and overpowered her awareness of anything else.

'Enough, Deeks!' Kensi said. 'The joke is over.'

'I'm not joking.' Deeks replied. 'Why do you always think I'm joking?'

'You can't be serious about this.'

'Why not?' Deeks frowned, leaning against the wall near the cafe where they'd stopped for lunch. 'I've seen you looking through those magazines, and the way you listened to that witness when she spoke about her kid. You want a baby, don't you?'

'Deeks. Stop.' Kensi said firmly. 'Do not go there. Maybe I do, or maybe I don't. But I wouldn't ask that of you. It's too much, and we're not even a couple.' She turned to walk away, thinking their conversation was over.

His words made her halt rather abruptly, and cause a hitch of breath to escape her lips.

'Did you ever think that maybe I want to be a father?'

Kensi turned to look at him. She'd heard the offended tone in his voice, yet saw the vulnerability in his eyes. He was serious. She'd thought he was bantering with her, as they always did, and made suggestions on a whim instead of with any degree of actual honesty. Now, she saw the truth. It wasn't so much about her, and her supposed "biological clock" ticking away, but about Deeks as well. Deeks, and his surprisingly genuine interest in being a father.

'You could always adopt.' She suggested quietly.

'That takes years, and costs more than I have at one time.' Deeks sighed, hinting he had already explored the option.

Kensi watched him, crossing her arms over her chest defensively, and was momentarily at loss of how to handle the situation. Suddenly, she wished he was still joking and teasing. She wished the longing in his eyes didn't so easily match the one she often saw in the mirror when no one was around.

'Besides, our kids would be gorgeous.' He smirked, falling back into his protected state of deflecting with humour. 'Little assassins with our awesomeness?'

'Deeks.' Kensi sighed, rubbing her forehead with her hand. 'We're talking about a baby. It'll cry, and need a lot of attention. It's a lot of work, all the time.'

'I do have a vague idea of what a baby is.' He rolled his eyes. 'It's like a dog, only better because a baby will eventually become a kid and will talk back, though that might not be a good thing in some cases. And dogs don't clean up after themselves, so ideally it's better than getting a dog, which I heard-'

'Deeks.' Kensi said again.

'I'm not saying it'll be easy, or even that it's a rational decision for us to do this,' He added. 'You want a baby. I want a baby. You're a woman. I'm a guy. We'd just be helping each other out, right?'

'Oh my god, you're not kidding.' Kensi inhaled a breath and released it slowly, turning to sit on the nearest chair. 'Pretend for a moment that I would even consider this, how could we make it work? We're not married.'

'Maybe I'm misinformed, but I'm pretty sure marriage isn't actually a requirement to have a kid.' Deeks said lightly. 'You know Alyssa? She brings her son to work at Ops, and no one has a problem with that. Hetty doesn't leave the building much, so I doubt she'd mind babysitting now and again. Sam's got a kid, so we can leech knowledge off him if we get stuck, right?'

'This is insane.' Kensi insisted, shaking her head. Her voice was more forceful than before, though she hadn't raised the volume above a whisper. 'We've been talking about this for a year, but I never thought...'

'What's the worst that could happen? Really?' Deeks approached her. 'I say we give it a try - let fate decide.'

'You believe in fate?' Kensi raised an eyebrow at him, disbelief defining her features.

'I found you, didn't I?' Deeks flashed her a grin.

Kensi warily reopened her eyes, and ducked her head before the light from the ceiling could hurt her eyes. Lowering her gaze further, Kensi stared at her socked feet standing on the pale tiled surface. Swallowing, Kensi slowly slid down the door and sat on the cold floor of the bathroom. She wrapped her arms around her knees, and bit her lip anxiously. She was dressed in a pair of loose faded black pants, and a long-sleeved white pyjama shirt, as she'd just gotten out of bed.

Kensi hadn't looked at the time, though she suspected it was sometime after four in the morning.

It was still there, she knew.

Kensi looked over to her sink, picturing the object concealed behind the white cupboard doors. Crawling over, she opened it, and lifted out the box from within. Actually, it wasn't the only one. There were three boxes of pregnancy tests - each were unopened. She touched her fingertips to the closed flap of the box in her hand, and exhaled a ragged breath in effort to keep herself calm.

Her posture was uncertain, though controlled, whereas her mind raced and twisted beyond her will.

'Should we, like, go to dinner first - or a movie, or something?' Deeks asked anxiously.

He stepped into her apartment, and glanced around as though he was visiting for the first time rather than having been there over a dozen times before. He walked to her stereo, and turned it on to flip through the music choices.

'What are you doing?' Kensi asked him a bit sharply. She was nervous about their decision, though no less willing to go through with it.

'Is there some sort of tune that would help with the baby-making process?' Deeks asked casually, glancing over at her with a slight smile.

'Oh my god, turn it off.' Kensi stated, reaching to do so herself. Silence filled the room again, and she almost regretted voiding it of sound. 'This is weird enough as it is.'

'Yeah, the awkward dial is pretty high.' Deeks shrugged, turning to face her. 'I'm not complaining, though.'

He looked her over, though they'd just come from work so she was still dressed in a pair of jeans with a sleeveless blue top. And yet, the look in his eyes suggested he thought she looked as beautiful as ever. She fidgeted under his gaze, and tried to withhold a blush, but otherwise stood her ground.

'We're really going to do this?'

'Yeah.' Kensi took the first step closer, and shyly wrapped her arms around his neck. Her brown gaze met blue, and a small smile parted his lips. 'We are.'

The boxed pregnancy test hadn't been opened, because Kensi wasn't sure what she expected.

They'd agreed to try once, and if nothing happened than they wouldn't talk about it again. Not for a while, anyway. Deeks was very eager for a positive result, though she could tell he was just as nervous as she was. Kensi didn't know which answer she wanted, wondering if she minded either way. She'd completely agreed to the choice, in full awareness of the consequences of it, though Kensi could only think of how much of it related more to Deeks than herself.

Slipping her finger under the cardboard flap, she slowly opened the box and peered within.

Sighing, she lifted out the stick that accompanied a rather detailed set of instructions. It seemed simple enough, Kensi knew, but the weight of what she held was more than just riddled by the things that made her anxious – it was about Deeks too. The night they'd spent together had started out only as an agreed necessity, but once they kissed and leaned closer, their original goal was left forgotten. That night, despite everything and the continued awkwardness of it all, was not an erupted passion between partners or friends.

That night, several weeks ago, they'd been lovers.

'Kens?' Deeks glanced sideways, as they sat in her car. 'Kensi?'

'What?' She frowned, her brown gaze still fixated on the supermarket store they were parked right outside of.

'I'm pretty sure we have to actually go in there to buy something.' Deeks pointed out. 'We've been here for ages. I'm running out of gum.' He held up his almost-empty packet.

'One more minute.' Kensi stated.

'Okay.' Deeks sighed with dread. 'But this is boring. I can get them.' He got out of the car, knowing she wouldn't let him go in alone.

'Deeks.' Kensi was startled from her tense moment, and got out after him. 'Deeks. Don't you dare. Deeks!' She hissed. Her efforts were useless, as he ignored her and headed for the store.

Grumbling, knowing she had no choice other than to follow, Kensi hurried to catch up with him.

The pair stepped inside, and Kensi had to grab Deeks' arm to direct him to the correct isle when he'd turned to walk in the opposite direction. The two partners each examined the signs and rows of shelves, until they found the section they had come for. The large range of pregnancy tests were laid out in front of them, and the enormity of their decision became much stronger than before.

'Wow.' Deeks exhaled. 'This...okay, this is awkward. Can we go now? I-I don't feel comfortable standing here. It's like a guy shopping for lady stuff.'

'Lady stuff?' Kensi glanced at him. 'Meaning, what?'

'Just the little...you know?' He fidgeted, and turned back to the shelves. 'How do these even work? Is there like some sort of magic-' He instantly silenced when an elderly woman wandered by them, with a smile on her face as she briefly observed the pair.

'How should I know?' Kensi whispered back, feeling on edge just standing there in front of all the boxes promising a potentially life-changing result. 'Just grab one, and let's go.'

Deeks seemed reluctant, but preferred to get out as quick as possible - he snatched the first box in sight, and turned to leave. He was halted by a grip on his arm, forcing him to turn and face Kensi's glare.

'Why that one?' She questioned.

'Uh, I need a reason?' Deeks squirmed again. 'It's got colours, and pictures here...'

'Oh, Deeks.' Kensi grumbled. She moved to look over the boxes with all the careful scrutiny he'd lacked when making his selection.

'What, they all work, don't they?' Deeks rolled his eyes. 'We're leaving now. Look, here.' He grabbed a nearby basket, and dropped his selection in, along with two other random boxes from the shelf.

Dumping the basket in her arms, which Kensi caught by mere reflex, Deeks stood behind her and nudged her over to the counter. They got as far as the cashier, before Kensi purposefully stepped on Deeks' foot in punishment for pushing her. She placed the basket on the counter, and distracted herself by checking the nearby customers and staff in wariness of recognising anyone.

Deeks grabbed a candy bar from nearby and added it to their purchases, as if the presence of chocolatey sugar could diffuse the intensity of what lay ahead.

It was almost six in the morning when Kensi arrived at work.

The Mission was darkened, and quiet, as only a few other employees were there. Kensi observed the area in relief, seeing none of them were members of her team. Exhaling, she sank into her chair - then almost shot back out of it in distress when someone spoke to her.

'Good morning, Ms Blye.'

'Hetty!' Kensi gasped. She placed a hand over her chest, as though she'd narrowly escaped a heart attack. 'Morning.'

'You're here early.' Hetty commented.

'Yeah.' Kensi nodded, without expanding on a reason.

Lying to Hetty, while one was already feeling vulnerable, was like staring a lion in the face and expecting to survive.

Luckily, Nell was there early as well – and importantly called Hetty up to Ops. Kensi watched Hetty walk away until she'd vanished from sight. Kensi prayed they didn't have an urgent case, as her mind still whirled too much for her to focus properly on incidences that deserved her undivided attention. Kensi slumped against the back of her chair, and willed herself to concentrate on the present.

She'd taken the test, twice, and Kensi didn't know how to feel about the result.

Hearing footsteps, Kensi looked up in alarm. How could she tell Deeks?

She fidgeted, then calmed, when she saw Callen approach her. Kensi sat straighter in her chair, and pulled it closer to the desk. Resting her elbows on the surface, she placed her chin against her palms, and frowned.

Callen watched her for a moment, gripping a duffel bag over his shoulder, then wandered to his desk.

He sat beside Kensi, and glanced in her direction. Many times this had happened before, and yet the look on her face told him something occurred that morning which had never happened to her before. Callen didn't know why, and could only venture to guess, but whatever it was it impacted her in a strange way. Kensi was very serious, and extremely deep in thought, yet no less alert or disorientated than usual. If anything, she was more on edge and aware of her surroundings.

'Kens?' Callen gently placed a hand on her shoulder, surprised when she didn't flinch away from him. He briefly wondered why he thought she would, and not just because it was Kensi Blye.

His voice was quiet, yet concerned, as he watched her carefully.

Kensi glanced at Callen, preparing to secure her expression and emotions. She was astonished by the emotion his simple, supportive touch and tone had provoked in her. If Deeks had done the same, it would have given her a sense of comfort and security, but Callen provided something else entirely. It was loyalty. He was showing her that no matter what it was, he would be there for whatever she needed to make it go away.

The occurance vaguely reminded her of the times before Deeks – back when she was a new Agent needing guidance and patient teaching.

Kensi sighed, and didn't want to lie to him - not when Callen was clearly just trying to be a good friend. It seemed unfair, somehow, to carelessly dismiss his concern in that moment.

'I'm just...' Kensi pressed her lips together, considering how to phrase it. 'I'm going through some stuff right now. I just need time.' She looked over at him, seeing his nod of understanding, as Callen pulled back and removed his hand from her shoulder.

'Can I talk to you, later, if I need to?'

'Of course.' Callen offered her a confident smile - one of continued support and mingled with restrained curiosity.

'Thanks.' Kensi said quietly, looking back to her desk.

She was aware of the slowly filling office - starting with the arrival of Sam.

Kensi kept her head ducked most of the time, and only vaguely listened to Sam questioning her mood. The query wasn't aimed at her, so Kensi merely shrugged when Callen offered a brief explanation on her behalf. "Stuff" seemed to be quite the all-telling word, because Sam backed off once he heard it. They were worried about her, Kensi accepted, but it didn't really change anything. Not right then, hours after she'd sat in the bathroom to stare at her pregnancy test.

And then Deeks came in.

His joyful, early-morning greetings as he crossed to his desk was almost contagious, though Kensi was unable to look at him right away. She'd tensed, which only Callen seemed to notice, and her mind hurriedly tried to come up with a reason to flee the room.

Luckily, Hetty came into the bullpen bearing a very large distraction.

Kensi glanced over, and never imagined there would ever be a time in her life when the sight of boxes containing cold cases would bring her a sense of relief. Everyone else groaned and protested, but Kensi remained unnaturally silent. Sighing with gratitude, she turned to Hetty and offered her a smile. To anyone else, they'd have been baffled by such an odd reaction to being assigned hours of boring paperwork, but it was Hetty. A knowing nod of her head told Kensi she was right – Hetty knew more than anyone ever had to tell her. She didn't think Hetty was aware of what was going on, but then again – she didn't really need to. That's just how Hetty was, and in that moment Kensi felt incredibly lucky to only focus her efforts on task involving paperwork.

Her mind was far too cluttered and unsure to be able to interrogate someone, and Kensi would never dare go out into the field to put herself and her partner at risk because of her inability to see straight. She was alert, and did engage in simple conversation throughout the morning, but Kensi was very serious and contemplative.

Despite her relief to have it to occupy her time, Kensi wasn't able to get much paperwork done.

She kept pausing to listen to things Deeks said, when he wasn't just whining about hand cramps and boredom. The image of her pregnancy test results loomed into her mind around lunch, and Kensi turned down all offers to get her something when Deeks gleefully announced he was going on a lunch run. With his excessive complaining, Callen and Sam placed most of their attention on Deeks for the day. Kensi did comment, as any focus rested solely on her would once again gave her the urge to get away as far and fast as she could.

That would certainly raise suspicions.

By mid-afternoon, Kensi's luck had evaporated.

'You've been quiet over there, Partner.' Deeks commented casually from his desk, leaning back in protest to any additional writing.

Sam was still focused on reading through a thick case-file, whereas Callen concentrated all his efforts into making his pencil balance on one end. Neither of the other two agents looked up when Deeks spoke, though each listened carefully and reacted with smirks at her reply.

'Why, because I haven't been talking everyone's ears off for the past eight or so hours?' Kensi bantered back without hesitation.

She raised her gaze to meet Deeks', which was the first time she had properly done so all day. He stared intently at her, then calmed slightly as though he'd been secretly worried about her. Kensi swallowed and broke contact, re-confirming his theory that something unspoken was bothering her.

'You've barely said a word all day.' Deeks continued, ignoring her mocking. 'Not even to tell me to shut up. I mean, I wasn't talking that much, and it's all relevantly justified, but you usually scold me anyway. Like a big mama bear.'

And there it was.

Kensi inhaled a sharp breath, which this time went entirely unmissed by her team. She halted her actions, and steadied her mind. Bracing herself, Kensi narrowed her eyebrows and looked strikingly at Deeks with every bit of annoyance she could muster.

'Maybe I just want to get this work done?'

'It's cold case files, Kens. What's another day?' Deeks replied, confused and rather concerned.

He considered her reaction to the phrase "mama bear" and his mind started racing. He quickly checked the date, and wondered. After that, his string of thoughts became almost as unbalanced as her own.

'Maybe, to us, they're just papers and information.' Kensi felt genuine irritation swell inside her, considering the file sitting on her desk in front of her.

It was nothing special, just an everyday domestic homicide with little evidence to place blame – yet the person who had been killed was a young woman. Younger than her, in fact, who had never married or had children. There were possibilities in her life, and surely the woman had dreams and hopes for her future before someone decided she wouldn't have a future anymore.

The root of the problem, regarding her suddenly snappy tone, rested inside Kensi.

The singular concept of what she and Deeks had agreed to now took all of her focus. They had decided on a single chance – what happened from that chance, that one night of passion, was entirely up to fate. Kensi didn't really believe in such things, but there was no other word to use. The test results became clear in her mind once again, and disappointment began to overwhelm her.

'What about the families who lost them?' Kensi snatched the file in front of her, showing a picture of a smiling young woman barely out of her teens. 'What about her? She had a mother who misses her, a boyfriend who couldn't even there for her when she needed him - and what about her life? It was taken from her! There was so much she still wanted, but now can't have.' Kensi ranted, shocking the others into staring at her.

'Kensi, I didn't mean-'

'No, Deeks, you didn't.' Kensi dropped the file in front of her, willing herself to remember he had no idea that his hopes and dreams had also been crushed.

The tests had been negative.

Her outburst, however, caused a fearful realisation in Kensi – she did want them to be positive. She did want a baby, with Deeks. She wanted it so badly, that nothing around her seemed important enough to give any attention to. Not even the case file lying in front of her.

'One more day to her family isn't just that.' Kensi finished, quieter. 'That's another day they spend without her, wondering what happened and why. We owe it to them to find out, so no, I'm not going to sit here and complain when there are other things to think about!'

Without another word, in complete lack of trust towards her own mouth, Kensi got up and stormed from the bullpen.

The rest of the afternoon passed by rather smoothly, as though her outburst never happened. Kensi was only gone for a short while, and came back with a round of coffees as a silent apology for taking her mood out on everyone. Deeks complained considerably less about the paperwork, and Kensi once again fell into a state of contemplative silence.

When they were finally permitted to leave for the day, Kensi was the last to move.

Everyone left before her – everyone, but Deeks.

When Kensi rose from her desk, she could feel him staring at her from across the bullpen. She sighed, and knew something had to happen tonight – she had to talk to him, before things got too far. It had been weeks since their night of planned passion, and yet he hadn't mentioned it once. Kensi could tell, as it was impossible for her to miss, the way he checked the date every morning as if counting down.

She knew he itched to ask how she was feeling, and yet he hadn't.

Barely aware of accepting his offer to have dinner, as she was feeling hungry now – having skipped both breakfast and lunch, Kensi continued to be relatively lost in her own thoughts. He offered to drive, and Kensi struggled to not protest. She couldn't, because it would mean revealing she hadn't been staying at the address he knew to be hers. The house had become familiar, and strangely it never bothered her that it was so empty at this time of year. She had her own key, and her bedroom was every bit her own, yet Kensi had never told Deeks about the nights she often stayed there.

In fact, there was several parts of her life Deeks still had no idea of.

Kensi wanted to check her answering machine, expecting a message, but knew she couldn't until later - when she finally went back home. Jane would probably just be lecturing her about making sure Kensi replaced the ice cream before she came back. Kensi missed her friend and room-mate, but now was not the time to dwell.

On the drive into the city, Kensi pulled her hair out so it hang loosely over her shoulders. She exhaled, and felt dread creeping inside her. Deeks kept glancing in her direction, but Kensi tried to ignore him. Her body and mind betrayed her by trapping in the emotions she couldn't push away, as Kensi remembered almost a month ago when she'd agreed to try for a baby with Deeks. Just once; that was the agreement.

Now, there she sat, in his car, with bad news involving the outcome. Kensi was deeply unsettled by how guilty and sad she felt, knowing she was so close to crushing Deeks' dream.

Kensi wished she'd never learned just how much he wanted to be a father – it filled him with so much joy and hope just to hear her honest agreement to give them even a small chance at creating a child of their own. There had never been any guarantee, and while Deeks had been realistic about those odds, Kensi knew her news was going to really hurt him. A part of her wanted to withhold the negative pregnancy results for as long as possible, but she couldn't hang onto it - to carry on without telling him seemed too unfair to bear.

The longer she waited, the harder it would be for both of them.

It didn't matter how determined she was to get it over with, because an hour later nothing had changed. They'd had dinner at a simple restaurant, and Kensi engaged in conversation about...Honestly, she had no idea after a while. All she could see and think of was the little line on her test telling her she was not going to carry Deeks' child.

She should be relieved, Kensi scolded herself, as she watched Deeks wander away to the men's room. They only had club sodas with their meal, which Kensi continued to carefully swirl around in her glass. The liquid distracted her, as a physical representation of her spiralling mind, until Deeks sat across from her and startled Kensi from her thoughts. Gasping, and almost letting the glass slip, Kensi looked at him with apprehension

'Kens?' Deeks made his concerns noticed throughout the meal, but had remained patient with her promise to explain later.

'Let's get out of here.' Kensi decided, feeling the familiar urge to run.

She couldn't leave him, not without telling Deeks first, and yet she had to get away from the restaurant. Kensi got up from the table, tossing her napkin down, and walked around to grab his wrist. Startled, but playing along, Deeks allowed her to tug him to a pair of doors across the room – it led to a bar nearby.

He wondered, briefly, how she knew it was there – until Deeks recognised the scenery from a recent undercover Op.

Her mind was overpowering, and the entire room around her faded from her awareness. The flickering colours, dancing crowds, and constant noise, simply couldn't penetrate her thoughts. Kensi released Deeks' hand, and sighed. It was too much. Kensi was used to being in control of herself, of her emotions, but tonight she was unravelling and it scared her more than anything.

'Seriously, Kensi, I can't do this.' Deeks said tiredly, having to raise his voice over the volumes all around them.

'What?' She looked at him with alarm, unsure why she felt a surge of panic course through her at his words.

'You've been quiet.' Deeks continued. 'Jumpy, even. What's going on?'

Kensi knew now was the moment of truth.

They stood near the bar, though not quite, and she looked downwards at the darkened floor for a moment. Inhaling a long breath, Kensi met his gaze and permitted him to see her regretful sadness within.

He looked away, and Kensi had a suspicion he knew what might be coming.

'I'm not pregnant.' Kensi told him, moving closer to ensure he heard her. It wasn't something she wanted to announce to the whole room, even if no one was listening.

Deeks closed his eyes for a brief moment, still avoiding casting his blue gaze in her direction, and breathed in a ragged gasp of air. Kensi stood stiffly in front of him, watching the hurt flicker through his gaze.

He looked so sad, and so disappointed, that Kensi begun to blame herself.

'I'm sorry.' Kensi told him, blinking back tears she furiously willed to go away. 'I don't know what-'

'No, no.' Deeks stared straight at her, inching closer to gently hold her elbow in desire to initiate some form of physical contact. 'It's fine.'

'It's not fine.' Kensi frowned. 'Are you mad at me?'

'God, Kens, no!' Deeks shook his head. 'We took one chance, and we missed. Maybe it wasn't meant to be, this time?'

'This time?' Kensi narrowed her eyes.

'We could always-'

'No.' Kensi shook her head, not wanting to go through the disappointment and hurt again. 'We agreed; one time.'

'I know.' Deeks averted his gaze, not wanting her to see how deeply sad the news made him. 'C'mon.'

'What?'

Kensi was surprised by his strangely managed mood, as he led her into the mass of people dancing all around them. They looked so happy, and carefree, that Kensi wanted to shoot someone. She recoiled into her defensive shields, wanting to sit on her couch with a tub of ice cream rather than be surrounded by so much noise and activity.

She'd become separated from Deeks for a moment, though she was shamefully glad to no longer see the look in his eyes. Kensi felt as if, somehow, she'd let him down. He'd needed her to achieve something that meant the world to him, and Kensi had failed. Kensi gravitated towards a wall and leaned her back against it. She glanced at her phone and wished she could call Jane. She would understand, Kensi knew.

'Where's that smile of yours, Sunshine?' Deeks' voice reached her.

'Deeks.' Kensi squirmed, realising how close he was to her.

Kensi felt detached from everything – she didn't want to be acknowledged, touched, or even spoken to in that moment. She just wanted to curl up somewhere comfortable and sort out why she felt so confused. Nothing had changed, not really. She was still exactly as she'd been a month ago. The negative pregnancy tests had ensured that life would go on as it once had. Except, Kensi realised she no longer wanted things to stay as they had once been.

Risking a look at Deeks, she saw he was trying to keep up his appearances of going with the flow.

Another wave of guilt passed through her. Kensi understood now, though she wasn't sure why her moment of clarity had come right then, as she stared into Deeks' blue gaze of continued trust and appreciation. She felt a sense of loss. It wasn't a feeling she liked, as it was far too familiar, yet Kensi felt it nonetheless. The coldness of it all started to seep across her arms, and into her heart, but Kensi didn't want to mourn what she'd never even had.

Latching onto the only thing keeping her from losing her composure entirely, Kensi stepped forward and wrapped her arms around Deeks. They'd already been intimate, though for a necessity instead of a need, so the contact was not entirely foreign to her as it had once been. Deeks curled his arms around her back, holding her close, as he inhaled her scent. Kensi felt his breath against her, knowing his composure was far less stable than her own.

He was heartbroken, though struggling to keep it at bay.

'We don't have a baby.' Kensi swallowed, as she uttered her words against his listening ear. 'But we're still here.'

Pulling back, Deeks watched her carefully to decipher the meaning behind her words. A small hint of returning hope sparked in his eyes, and though Kensi had not exclusively tried to suggest more than a continued close friendship, she couldn't deny the way her stomach fluttered with the way he stared at her while they stood intimately close. All the desires and sensations she'd felt weeks ago came flooding back. Countless times she'd reminded herself they weren't together, and that night wasn't meant to be special – and yet, it was. Exploring Deeks in a new way had given her more delight and warmth than Kensi ever imagined to be possible.

Now, she craved it.

Without thinking, as her mind was still ribboned from the stressful night she'd had leading up to her sitting on the bathroom floor, Kensi closed the remaining space between them. She kissed him, unsure and hesitant at first, then was encouraged when Deeks returned the passion. They easily forgot the room was filled with people, as the pair held the other close and vented their disappointment through the fondness that had exploded between them that night.

When they parted, Kensi realised she was wrong – everything had changed.

Without warning, Kensi gave in to her previously restrained thought. There was one part that had disabled her from handling the situation as she should have, because deep down she too had wanted a baby.

'Kens?' Deeks became worried again when she started to cry.

Pressing her forehead to his shirt, Kensi fought to get a grip on herself. She shook her head, letting Deeks know she wasn't going to talk about it, and simply cried. Instead of embracing her again, Deeks snaked an arm around her waist and led her from the room.

The cool night hair hit her skin, and Kensi shivered.

'I'd offer you my jacket, but I didn't bring one.' Deeks told her.

There was still a bit of a crowd, though Kensi dismissed any awareness of others. However, a smile formed on her lips at his playful words.

'I'd give you my shirt, but I'm afraid the ladies will attack my stunning figure if I walk around without a shirt.' Deeks continued, wanting so badly to see her smile again. He'd been caught off-guard by her emotions, and wasn't sure what to make of the moment they'd shared inside the building they now stood outside of.

A chuckle felt like music to his ears, and Deeks stood behind her to lean close upon witnessing a brief view of her expression.

'I can see you smiling.' He teased, knowing she had turned her back to him in attempt to hide her smile.

Deeks knew she was embarrassed, and annoyed at herself for being vulnerable, so he tried to lighten the mood. He hoped it would stop her from running, as Kensi often did when things got too personal. She'd been a shell of herself all day - it was nice to have a moment of restored normalcy between them, even if it might lead to a premature goodnight and parting of ways.

'Okay.' Kensi breathed, then turned around. 'Can we get outta here?'

'You want me to drive you home?' Deeks hoped she wouldn't, so maybe he could salvage some of the night they'd shared so far. He wanted to make sure she was okay, though he refused to acknowledge any other reason he might have for staying close to her.

'Yes.' Kensi nodded, knowing it was the sensible thing to do.

She followed him to the car and got in, remembering a little too late that she hadn't been referring to the place he knew so well. Deeks didn't know about the house, just as he didn't know about the life that came with it, and so Kensi remained quiet in the passenger seat. Deeks kept up conversation, though the tones of his voice suggested it was merely to prevent an awkward silence.

Arriving at her place, Kensi got out - and watched as Deeks followed her. She reached the doorstep, eyeing a slight stack of newspapers sitting nearby, and turned quickly when Deeks spoke.

'Maybe...Maybe it's not so bad.' Deeks said, looking downwards. 'The baby, I mean. The timing's wrong, right?'

'Right.' Kensi inhaled a short breath. 'It wasn't meant to be.'

'Well, some of it.' Deeks shifted nervously, then took a step closer. 'I have no regrets. That night was still...'

Kensi realised what he was hinting at, and panic swelled once again. She glanced at her door, longing to get away, but remained where she stood. Deeks looked less scary when he showed how anxious he was to just say those words – to admit their shared intimacy wasn't a waste even if they didn't get the results they'd hoped for.

'Well, I better-'

'No.' Kensi stopped him from backtracking.

He knew he'd said too much, but Kensi didn't care. The fire inside her remained – she wanted to be close to him, to remind herself she hadn't really lost anything. And, maybe, if she was brave tonight, Kensi could accept she had gained something instead. Not a baby, but perhaps something that had always been there.

'Stay.'

After her single word, the rest of the night was a blur of kisses, tangled limbs, and powerful emotion.

This time, however, was different.

Their first sexual encounter with the other had been rushed, awkward at first, then freeing. Their second time mimicked of the first, except there was a heartfelt sense of familiarity. The form of the other was no longer new and unexplored, though the emotions that accompanied the entire experience were elevated. They took their time, and willed the sensual trust only for desire instead of a need.

The first time, they'd tried to make a baby.

The second time, they'd made love.

Except, with all the differences between those two nights, there was one thing that remained exactly the same. Kensi and Deeks weren't aware of it at the time, too caught up in the increasingly-familiar moment – but there was one thing they'd forgotten to include that also hadn't been present weeks ago.

It would be a while before Kensi or Deeks realised it, and by then it wouldn't make a difference. And yet, equally, it was going to make every ounce of difference in their lives. That night of passion, of love, and of intimacy – Kensi and Deeks had entirely forgotten to use protection.

Unbeknownst to them, fate had been given a second chance.

Important Author's Notes: I know a lot of baby-fics tend to go through time rather quickly - such as skipping things, passing over most of the pregnancy, and portions after the birth to reach a time period to center on - I myself do it, especially in "Wish". However, this fic does not fit that purpose - I ask for your patience, as I intend to properly show the near-entire extent of Kensi and Deeks' journey as parents: through the pregnancy, the birth, and what follows. If you're looking for a story about a child, prepare to first spend a lot of time reading through those fresh baby years. Also keep in mind, that while the baby is the focused plot, there are also a lot of other family-themed things going on - this fic is primarily about family bonds as a whole. Callen is a main character for a reason, but you'll have to wait to find out why. I also have a preview video for this fic, which contains parts of upcoming scenes and more explanation of what this story is all about. Check out my profile for the link!

Thank you to every single person who has read this so far! I really appreciate it, and I do hope you'll take a moment to send feedback via a review.