Disclaimer: Gravitation belongs to Murakami Maki-sensei and I just like her characters so much that I used them. But not for profit, of course. My caring for them is much deeper than that...
When you blink.
by Miyamoto Yui
The sun was rising when I rose from my bed. And I sat at the side of it as I grabbed a cigarette box from the dresser. As I took a cigarette and lit up the lighter, I looked up to the ceiling and then pushed myself off.
Yet again, I was only in my jeans and had been so tired that I just zonked out on my bed as soon as I got home.
Putting my hands to my pockets, I looked about the apartment from a detatched perspective and viewed at everything a little bit in anger.
Taking a deep breath from the cigarette, I said to myself, "Everything's so damn neat."
That's how life was for me.
Everything was so organized and in its proper place.
Even if my clothes were in hump in the closet or my bed was in disarray, it would eventually be cleaned, as I was doing now. Disgusted with myself, I went to the balcony to lean on the railing and space out.
I guess the silence always got to me. If Shuichi were here, it would never get this quiet. Even when he sleeps, he still mumbles.
As I ran my fingers through my hair, I laughed a bit. "Yes, he still talks even in his sleep."
I remember...
"Hiro! Hiro! Are you serious?!" he jumped up and down when I asked him to form a two-person band with me. It was then that he grabbed my shirt and hugged me with no discretion as to who was around us.
Scruffing his pink hair a bit, I smiled and nodded silently.
It didn't matter who looked at us.
This was Shuichi. I admired the way he didn't care what was going around him as long as he said what he wanted. I think that's how we became friends in the first place. He was that kid trying to look at rock magazines and got hit with a chalk piece as I peered at him from the side and laughed at him for it.
That's what I liked about him so much...
For him, that's the only way I could not think of other people around us. I had been so conscious about other people before I met him.
"Be the good student." Do this, do that...
The only thing I did that was rebellious was keep quiet, think hard, and dress raggedly.
But at that moment, I remembered Shuichi's smile.
That smile was for me...
And now that smile had somewhat faded. Maybe it had become better. But it wasn't for me anymore.
It was for Yuki.
Yes, I was a little jealous, but I was better than that. Whatever made Shuichi happy, that's what would make me happy too.
But Shuichi? He's a little slow to pick up stuff like that. I guess he never fell in love with someone so deep as I did.
Going inside the apartment, as I was stringing up the guitar, there was a knock on the door. When I opened it, there was no one there. But then, here came a pink ball full of genki flying at me saying, "Happy Birthday, Hiro!!!"
I laughed as we came to sit in the living room.
As looked Shuichi, I always remembered all the dreams we had. All the dreams we have...
And all the dreams we're making...
That's the way I look at you, Shuichi.
Shuichi brought out a small package from his pocket. I could tell he wrapped it...
yeah, so we'll just leave it at that.
But when I opened it, there was nothing inside. And I looked up to see him smiling at me.
Blinking, I didn't quite get the joke, so I said uncertainly because it was Shuichi and his strange sense of humor, "Thank you."
He smiled brightly and shook his head. "I'm your present today, Hiro."
"You're my present?" I repeated.
At that moment, I felt flustered...
Everything was out of place as I looked at Shuichi.
But as always, before I could think, there he was grabbing my hand while calling, "Hiro!"
As we ran around, we went to all the places we used to hang out and finally ended up in the park.
Though it was tiring, we sat on the benches with big smiles on our faces.
With the most surprised and sincere voice I could have ever given him, I said, "Thank you."
"You're welcome."
I couldn't tell him how wonderful a gift that was.
To all the places we had been to...
And recall everything we had ever done together...
It was then that I grabbed his jacket and gave him a firm hug. He just sat there not knowing what to do for it was unusual for me to do this to him.
Whispering to his ear, I said, "You...ever since I've met you..."
But I couldn't finish because I was so touched. And even I wouldn't want to cry...
He then placed his arms around me too. "You don't have to say it, Hiro."
But what do you understand? Do you really know what I want to say?
He began to cry. "Wasn't it on my 15th birthday you told me, 'I don't have a present for you Shuichi even though you are my best friend?'"
My eyes opened wider as I tried to hold back the tears.
"Wasn't it you who told me, 'But I promise, whenever you need me, all you have to do is blink. And I'll be there.' You don't even have to call my name." he said to my cold ears as their warmth was coming from Shuichi's breath.
"But you dork, Hiro!" He began to sob. "You gave me more than a present! You let me have my dream! You could have gone to any college you wanted, but you still chose to go with our band and our dream!"
I took a deep breath and shook my head as I hit him on the head while standing up. "Don't cry, Shuichi."
With the back of my hand, I wiped his tears.
"That's why I like you so much, Hiro." He looked up to me. "You always catch me when I'm about to fall. Even when I should cry, you won't let me."
"I won't." I replied as I looked forward and avoided his eyes.
Then, I walked on without him. But then, he came running next to me with a loud, "Hiro!! Oi, Hiro!!"
I pushed him forward. "Time to go home to Yuki, Shuichi."
"Yes."
But why can't I let go?
He walked on and turned around saying, "Ja!"
As I turned around, I walked a bit only to have Shuichi run up to me and grab my collar.
At that moment, he kissed me but kept his eyes on me. "When I blink, you'll always be there."
I stood there under the park lamp for a while mumbling, "That's right, Shuichi."
Walking back a bit, he smiled at me with his hands in back of him. And then, as his tears were falling, he ran towards the direction of Yuki's apartment.
That's all I had ever wanted from him. That's all I ever silently requested...
That smile had not faded at all.
As my reserve broke down when he left, I began to cry; and I whispered to myself, "Despite everything...it was still there..."
--
Author's note: I cried at this, need I say more?
When you blink.
by Miyamoto Yui
The sun was rising when I rose from my bed. And I sat at the side of it as I grabbed a cigarette box from the dresser. As I took a cigarette and lit up the lighter, I looked up to the ceiling and then pushed myself off.
Yet again, I was only in my jeans and had been so tired that I just zonked out on my bed as soon as I got home.
Putting my hands to my pockets, I looked about the apartment from a detatched perspective and viewed at everything a little bit in anger.
Taking a deep breath from the cigarette, I said to myself, "Everything's so damn neat."
That's how life was for me.
Everything was so organized and in its proper place.
Even if my clothes were in hump in the closet or my bed was in disarray, it would eventually be cleaned, as I was doing now. Disgusted with myself, I went to the balcony to lean on the railing and space out.
I guess the silence always got to me. If Shuichi were here, it would never get this quiet. Even when he sleeps, he still mumbles.
As I ran my fingers through my hair, I laughed a bit. "Yes, he still talks even in his sleep."
I remember...
"Hiro! Hiro! Are you serious?!" he jumped up and down when I asked him to form a two-person band with me. It was then that he grabbed my shirt and hugged me with no discretion as to who was around us.
Scruffing his pink hair a bit, I smiled and nodded silently.
It didn't matter who looked at us.
This was Shuichi. I admired the way he didn't care what was going around him as long as he said what he wanted. I think that's how we became friends in the first place. He was that kid trying to look at rock magazines and got hit with a chalk piece as I peered at him from the side and laughed at him for it.
That's what I liked about him so much...
For him, that's the only way I could not think of other people around us. I had been so conscious about other people before I met him.
"Be the good student." Do this, do that...
The only thing I did that was rebellious was keep quiet, think hard, and dress raggedly.
But at that moment, I remembered Shuichi's smile.
That smile was for me...
And now that smile had somewhat faded. Maybe it had become better. But it wasn't for me anymore.
It was for Yuki.
Yes, I was a little jealous, but I was better than that. Whatever made Shuichi happy, that's what would make me happy too.
But Shuichi? He's a little slow to pick up stuff like that. I guess he never fell in love with someone so deep as I did.
Going inside the apartment, as I was stringing up the guitar, there was a knock on the door. When I opened it, there was no one there. But then, here came a pink ball full of genki flying at me saying, "Happy Birthday, Hiro!!!"
I laughed as we came to sit in the living room.
As looked Shuichi, I always remembered all the dreams we had. All the dreams we have...
And all the dreams we're making...
That's the way I look at you, Shuichi.
Shuichi brought out a small package from his pocket. I could tell he wrapped it...
yeah, so we'll just leave it at that.
But when I opened it, there was nothing inside. And I looked up to see him smiling at me.
Blinking, I didn't quite get the joke, so I said uncertainly because it was Shuichi and his strange sense of humor, "Thank you."
He smiled brightly and shook his head. "I'm your present today, Hiro."
"You're my present?" I repeated.
At that moment, I felt flustered...
Everything was out of place as I looked at Shuichi.
But as always, before I could think, there he was grabbing my hand while calling, "Hiro!"
As we ran around, we went to all the places we used to hang out and finally ended up in the park.
Though it was tiring, we sat on the benches with big smiles on our faces.
With the most surprised and sincere voice I could have ever given him, I said, "Thank you."
"You're welcome."
I couldn't tell him how wonderful a gift that was.
To all the places we had been to...
And recall everything we had ever done together...
It was then that I grabbed his jacket and gave him a firm hug. He just sat there not knowing what to do for it was unusual for me to do this to him.
Whispering to his ear, I said, "You...ever since I've met you..."
But I couldn't finish because I was so touched. And even I wouldn't want to cry...
He then placed his arms around me too. "You don't have to say it, Hiro."
But what do you understand? Do you really know what I want to say?
He began to cry. "Wasn't it on my 15th birthday you told me, 'I don't have a present for you Shuichi even though you are my best friend?'"
My eyes opened wider as I tried to hold back the tears.
"Wasn't it you who told me, 'But I promise, whenever you need me, all you have to do is blink. And I'll be there.' You don't even have to call my name." he said to my cold ears as their warmth was coming from Shuichi's breath.
"But you dork, Hiro!" He began to sob. "You gave me more than a present! You let me have my dream! You could have gone to any college you wanted, but you still chose to go with our band and our dream!"
I took a deep breath and shook my head as I hit him on the head while standing up. "Don't cry, Shuichi."
With the back of my hand, I wiped his tears.
"That's why I like you so much, Hiro." He looked up to me. "You always catch me when I'm about to fall. Even when I should cry, you won't let me."
"I won't." I replied as I looked forward and avoided his eyes.
Then, I walked on without him. But then, he came running next to me with a loud, "Hiro!! Oi, Hiro!!"
I pushed him forward. "Time to go home to Yuki, Shuichi."
"Yes."
But why can't I let go?
He walked on and turned around saying, "Ja!"
As I turned around, I walked a bit only to have Shuichi run up to me and grab my collar.
At that moment, he kissed me but kept his eyes on me. "When I blink, you'll always be there."
I stood there under the park lamp for a while mumbling, "That's right, Shuichi."
Walking back a bit, he smiled at me with his hands in back of him. And then, as his tears were falling, he ran towards the direction of Yuki's apartment.
That's all I had ever wanted from him. That's all I ever silently requested...
That smile had not faded at all.
As my reserve broke down when he left, I began to cry; and I whispered to myself, "Despite everything...it was still there..."
--
Author's note: I cried at this, need I say more?