Disclaimer: I do not own twilight. Thank God
"Oh Christmas tree, oh Christmas tree… Shut up!" Emmet screamed at Edward.
"Why the - are you singing Christmas carols in the middle of freakin July? Emmet still screamed.
"No, Emmet its Juuunnne." Alice sang.
"Whatever!" Emmet said.
"Alice is right, and I freakin love her! But SHE won't let me use post-it notes!" Jasper said.
"Well, I SPARKLE!" Rosalie yelled.
"We all Glitter like diamonds" Carsile screamed.
Meanwhile Renesmee jumped through the window of an airplane and landed on the top of Mt. Kilimanjaro.
Bella had just come running through the house screaming and jumping into Edward's arms and screamed "I am PREGERS!"
Edward pulled out a magic wand and screamed "OBLIVIARA BABE!"
HAHAHAHAHAHA I made it abortionarize!
Then, Esmee screamed "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, this is all wrong!
"What" they all screamed in unison.
This Halloween wreath!
It's JUNE! They yet again all screamed.
Well maybe I wanted to get ahead for once, maybe when the kids come trick-or-treating; I want them to be comfortable!
"WTF, MOM. WTF
"Then Jacob walked in, and spontaneously phased and froze.
Bella sat in the corner and was crying.
Nobody noticed Allie (Allie was Mike Newton and Bella's illegitimate child)
chewing bubble gum over by the window.
"Whoa, who's that kid over there?" Asked Jerry, (Jerry was Emmet and Bella's illegitimate child) Bella was a bit of a slut sometimes.
"No, who are you" Jason asked? (Jason was Jacob and Bella's illegitimate child)
Well, by now Bella was actually a whore by definition.
"Great, now my secret is revealed" said Bella.
Author's note:
Please review! I am sorry it was short and not very funny. I am horrible and I know it. Please be mean! Just say what you feel.
It won't hurt at all. (not even on the inside)