_Gogo's point of view, Flashback mode on_

I was fighting against the Black Mamba. She was almost dead, just a little bit more and she would desist, stop fighting because of the suffocation. I knew it would happen. It had to. But it didn't. It didn't happen because I suddenly felt an unsupportable pain on my left foot, as it had been stabbed with a sword. The blonde woman had perforated it with nails, which were coming out from a big piece of board, which, I guess, felt from the plafond.

I couldn't hold the chain anymore, the pain was too much for me to handle and keep pulling it around her neck. Then I felt the nails coming into my skull. The pain was too terrible, like if part of the bone had been completely removed from me without any kind of anaesthesia. I felt it drilling my head and the blood drilling for my hair. Then the red liquid was also falling from my eyes and my vision was completely painted in red. I can't see anything. After a few seconds I couldn't see at all. Not even the blood, just the back. I couldn't feel the pain either. I… I was... Was I dead?

Flashback mode off

A penetrating, scared and horrified scream comes out from my throat, filling the ambient. My eyes still closed, I'm too scared to open them. I'm scared of the possibility of see that blood again. I can't do it; I'm not strong enough. I'm scared! I don't want to die! Please… I need help! I'm so scared… If I'm dying, I don't want to open my eyes.

"Gogo!" Someone is calling me. Am I dead? Why would someone who is not my master call my name? I keep screaming. "Hey, Gogo! Calm down, it's all right. Can you listen to me? Open your eyes, it's all right." I know this voice. A masculine and young voice, which is coming from someone who I know. He is a work mate. How was him called? Yukki? Yori? Yuya! Yes, that was it!

"Yuya-kun?" I ask.

"Yes, it's me. Open your eyes. You can do this. I promise you, there is no danger."

"If I open my eyes I will see something I don't want to see." That's my answer after long time thinking.

" Gogo… If you don't want to see me I can move for you to open your eyes…" Is this boy kidding me? What is his problem?

"I am not talking about you, I'm talking about all this blood. If I'm dying, I don't want to know how much it's bleeding".

"Which blood? Gogo, there is no blood. You are all right, I promise you. Look, you can punch me as much as you want to if you open your eyes and see blood. You are not bleeding anymore, it already stopped a long time ago, after the second surgery".

"Surgery? I don't remember any surgery. I won't open my eyes, I'm not strong enough to punch you right now." I say. He is lying.

"You were into a coma for the last seven months". Coma? I can't… I don't remember falling asleep, I just… But… The black… I felt no pain… Well, it does make sense. "I'm talking the truth! Trust me, you will not see any blood".

"If you are lying, I'll kill you. Slowly and painfully."

"I am not."

"You better. You better." This is my last warn before, slowly, move my eyelids and obey him. God… He is right! There is no blood! There is a little pain, but nothing too terrible such as what I felt when she stabbed me with the nails.

"See? You are all right. No blood. You are in St. Luke International Hospital. Have no idea why did they bring us here instead of any other hospital, but we survived". I blink several times before finally look at Yuya's face. He is two years older than me, been eighteen. I am sixteen, unlike everyone says. I lie about my age to be allowed to work to my master. Yuya is a cute boy. Visually nave, his slanted eyes are intense and his face is childish and adult at the same time. Well, as I said, he is cute.

"Kami-sama… Did I actually…?" How can I ask him?

"Yes. You have been sleeping for seven months without even one moment of conscience. You ate lucky that nails didn't reached your brain… And I'm lucky they putted my arm back on. We are the only ones who are completely fine now. But I thought you wouldn't survive"

"Only us? What about…?"

"O-Ren Ishii is dead. I'm sorry". His answer is like been stabbed again, but this time in the heart. My mistress… Almost my mother! Dead? How could I let it happen? It's my fault… Only mine… Another scream comes out and fills the room. My hands go straight to my head, holding my brown and extremely straight hair. Tears fog my vision before falling for my cheeks. "I'm sorry, Gogo. I should have protected her properly… I'm so sorry about that!" I keep sobbing, wishing I were actually dead.

"It's not your fault, it's mine. I was her bodyguard… I was supposed to protect her… But I didn't, and now she's dead". I wish I could keep my laments in the inside, but it is not possible in this moment.

"You did. You did protect her as much as you could. You were unconscious; there were nothing you could do. Don't blame yourself."

"I know… I know… But she was more than my mistress… She was a kind of mother to me. She took care of me during my whole childhood and I wished I could return the favour… She raised me and trained me… She saved my life, but I couldn't save hers." I explain. "Oh, oka-san… Gomenasai…" I look up, facing the ceiling. I wish she could hear me… And see how sorry I am.

"I see. Look, Gogo… I know you are sad and suffering her loss, but you need to be strong, ok?" I agree, moving my head up and down. "Do you want a hug or something like that?"

"Yes" My lower lip is shaking. Yuya's arms come around me, holding me against his warm and confortable body. Why am I hugging him? He is not even my friend… Well, think I'm just sad and scared, worried about what is going to happen now. In the end, I am just a lonely sixteen year-old girl. "My God… Why is it happening?"

"I don't know. We all knew it would happen, that we would get too old to keep working… Or get disabled. It ended in a unexpected way, that's true, but we knew." He's hands are slowly and gently moving for my hair, comforting me.

"Onegai, stop it. Don't try to make me feel better." I sop. "Nothing can make me feel better. Don't you understand? I'm alone now. I'm a sixteen-year-old killer and now I'm orphan. I will end up in an orphanage." How will I survive in an orphanage? I… I will kill everyone there. Well, I will probably make an exception for the small children, but I will… I don't want to… Oh, my god!

"Well, I am eighteen. You can stay with me for a while, till you complete eighteen as well."

"Ok. Normally I wouldn't accept, but I need it. So, thank you."

"You are welcome."

"Are you going to ask me any kind of… You know, payment?" I really don't want to have sex with Yuya, but I will if he asks me to. I need to stay with him; he is all I have now.

"No. I still remember what happened to the last guy who wished to screw you. You ripped his intestines." Ok, when I think that way I see it's creepy, but… But I was angry and drunk and I realised that he actually wanted my body. So I offered myself to that man and, when he accepted my false offer, I stabbed him with my favourite katana.

"I am not going to kill you, Nishino-san." I give a short laugh. "I would prefer if you didn't ask me to do it, but you are my last hope."

"So you would reply the favour with sex, if I asked you to" He seems not believe it.

"Yes, I would have to, wouldn't I? Why? Are you asking me to?" Now I feel a little disgusted. I really don't feel well enough to have sex, especially when it's a payment. He's answer is no. Yes! It's a no! My heart goes faster as a smile comes and fills my face.

"Why are you that happy? Did you actually though I would ask that kind of thing? You just woke up! I would never… I am not the kind of person who does that."

"I trust you." I whisper. Do I? How can I trust someone who I never talked to? But I do. I do trust Yuya, because he is my last hope. I need him now.

"But I do want your help to pay the bills, when we find somewhere to live."

"Don't you have a house?" Great, I think. Now I will have to sell my ass to help Yuya to rent a house.

"Well, I used to. I sold it to pay the hospital and the therapy. You know, I nearly lost my arm forever." He's explanation does make some sense.

"Ok. What will we do now? If I don't have a house I still need to go to an orphanage."

"When we leave the hospital we can find somewhere to live and, until then, we can stay in a hotel or something like this. Do you know how O-Ren's signature looked like?"

"Yeah, she used to ask me to sign papers for her." And once more I realise how much I miss my "mother". I want her here, with me. I want her to take care of me once more. To tell me what am I doing wrong when I kick a punch-bag. I want her to hug me and read me a story before I sleep, as she used to do when I was young. I can't see anymore. There are too many tears in my eyes. I start sopping again, crying the loss of O-Ren Ishii. "I miss her".

"I know. Hey, stop crying. She wouldn't want you to cry."

"You didn't even know her. You don't know what would she want, you can't know. But… She meant everything to me. Without her I would be living in the street, being rapped every single day, taking care of ten kids and prostituting myself to have money to buy drugs."

"I think I will call a nurse for you. And… The Gogo I though I knew wouldn't cry like that." He says. Probably he is right. This is the first time I cry since I was eleven, two nights before O-Ren Ishii finding me. But this time I need to cry. I'm too hurt, too sad to hold it for even one second.

"Did you ever lose someone very close to you? I mean, someone who represented everything for you? Without who you would never be able to survive? Someone to who you owe your life?" I'm actually scared of thinking about how my life would be if O-Ren Ishii hadn't found me that night. I was so scared! I didn't know how to protect myself. It would be the second time in a week I would be rapped. I was just eleven and I… I was so scared! I screamed until it seemed that my throat would explode. And then there was someone between those four men and me. She started to fight them and easily killed them all. I was too scared to look, so I just heard the screams. Strangled screams, full of pain. When she told me to open my eyes, I though I would die as well, but I didn't. O-Ren Ishii hugged me and told me it was all right. Then she presented to me and asked me if I wanted to go with her. I didn't hesitate even for one second before accepting.

When we went to the place I would later call 'home', my 'mother' trained me in all martial arts, teaching me to use every kind of white-weapon. Every time she hugged me or kissed my forehead bedtime, I felt safe. I'm sure I will never feel like that again.

"Not really. I hadn't ever give a shit to anyone and anyone never gave a shit to me." His answer surprises me. I always though that Yuya was a nice guy who would be kind to anyone. I though he was completely different of me, who had never though even for a half a second before sticking a katana right in the heart of the first one who annoyed me.

"I see. I'm almost in this level as well." Instead of start crying again I give him a half-smile. "Think it will be nice to share a house with you."

"If you don't kill me as I sleep, then I think it will be fun." Now he is being sarcastic. God, I want to slap him! I hate when someone is sarcastic with me, except, of course, for myself.

"I already said! I am not going to kill you. I need you to stay out of an orphanage and… You are all I have now."

"Arigatou gozaimashite. Now I will call a nurse to see you."

A blonde woman who obviously is not Asian comes into the small room, which I share with Yuya.

"Kon'nichi'á!" Her Japanese is a shit. But I will forgive her for this.

"I can speak English, if you prefer." Or maybe I don't apology her fail...

"No, thanks. Well, let's see… The doctors though it would take ages for you to wake up. That nails almost reached your brain. You and your boyfriend are lucky you survived to the attack, it was terrible!"

"I am not her boyfriend!" Yuya's voice becomes angry for the first time since I first met him. "Gomen, Gogo, she decided it." I agree with my head.

"He is not my boyfriend, we just worked together". I say sharply.

"Right, of course he is not. Well, how are you feeling?"

"A little pain in my head. Right…" My hand touches the lateral of my head, right where the nails came in. I can fell the small scars, but I don't think anyone can see it. "Here."

"Yeah, It will be painful for now on, once you are awake. But I promise you it will stop in a few weeks." Her voice is calm and sweet. I feel confortable with her, unlike it happens with other doctors. "There will be a few scars, but without any damage to the shape of your head or anything that might affect you good-looking, don't worry about this."

"Hm… I guess that's good." I can't stop the sadness in my voice.

"Anything wrong?" She asks. Yuya looks at me, worried about something. No… I am not going to kill her either. I don't feel good enough to kill anyone.

"No, I'm fine. It's just the pain." I lie. Don't want to tell it to anyone else, it is already a risk telling it to Yuya.

"I will bring you some analgesic. It will help you." She says before going out from the room and leaving me alone with Yuya.

He looks at me in a weird way, as I was a kind of bomb, which will explode at any moment. Actually I am. I know I am a teenager and I wasn't supposed to feel this… Blood thirst. Someone said me I was too angry, but I am not… Yes, I kill people when I'm angry, but it's not that frequent. I usually killed only those who O-Ren asked me to. I would do anything for her and I was ok with killing. I don't really care about human lives, except for hers and myself. I ignore the other humans until they annoy me too much or try to screw me. Then, and only then, I kill them for my own will.

"I am fine! Stop looking at me like that." I almost beg him. His smile is a small help, but it shows that he trusts me. He moves his head up and down in agreement.

The time pass slowly as we face one another, waiting for the nurse, Lily Fallen, to came back. Yuya's dark eyes are confuse and, at the same time, completely full of sure. I press my lips one against the other and, then, bite my lower lip.

"Did you tell her I was your girlfriend? Because if you did I will feel forced to punch you until you bleed."

"I didn't." He says slowly. "And I still thinking I can stop you if so I wish. I mean, look at your size! What's your height?"

"I'm 1.55m. Yes, I am short, but fast as a snake and much more dangerous than you, so shut up." My voice is full of anger. I hate when people talk about my size. If I'm short, that's because I basically didn't have a real meal between the ages of nine and eleven. And then Nishino Yuya makes the biggest mistake he could do. He starts laughing at me because of my height.

"Stop laughing or I will give you the biggest scar you ever had."

"I'm sorry, Gogo! I can't stop… You are so small! How can you actually have killed all those people? You are the size of a… A twelve year-old girl!" He keeps laughing. It makes me angry… I hate when people doubt of my killing skills. I was trained to fight taking advantage of my own small height.

"You will pay for every single word you said." My voice is menacing as I go over Yuya, starting to punch his face and chest. I'm weak because of the time without eating, but I still hurting him. I keep his eyes arrested to mine, telling me I am really angry. Then his look goes down for a second and his eyebrows rise before he looks at the ceiling, facing it with all his strong.

"Gogo? You… I… Your clothes are too large for you. I swear I only glimpsed, but… Please, get off."

"Oh!" I say when I realise what he meant. I hug myself, hiding the form of my breasts.

"I'm sorry about that." He says. It's ok, isn't it? I mean, he didn't try to touch me or… He is apparently trying to control himself.

"Baka…" I growl.

"Please, don't kill me." He begs. I love when they beg… It's so pleasant! It's so pleasant to be the one who decides if someone will live or die! Normally I would get my katana and perforate his heart right now, but I will not. Not this time. I do not want to kill or hurt Nishino Yuya.

"I am not going to hurt you. Trust me, I will not do anything." I explain. He smiles to me, obviously happy with my decision. I let him go, going back to my bed.

"I'm back!" The nurse opens the door, getting into the room and giving me a small plastic cup with a pink liquid inside. I take it and approach from my mouth, preparing me to drink it. I hate liquid medicine… It smells terrible!

"Gogo! Don't drink it!" My brain interprets Yuya's scream faster than I realise what is happening as he kicks the cup from my hands. The liquid stains the sheets and seems to be… boiling! It's acid!