A/N: So, yeah, I know I need to start another fic about as much as Robert Downey Jr. needs to start smoking crack again, but what can I say? – This just came out the other day. I wasn't even going to post it, but what the heck. And, I know this has been done, but hopefully mine won't be too predictable.

I stole the title from an Otis Redding song.

Disclaimer: Hey LWD owners, why so serious?

OOOO

"Derek," Casey yelled. "Open up," she pounded frantically on his apartment door, "I know you're in there."

Bang. Bang.

"Open the door now!"

Shirtless and scratching his chest, Derek opened the door, yawning. "Since when do you knock like the police?"

Barging past him, Casey dropped her messenger bag on her way to his futon. "Since I found out I'm pregnant."

"You're pregnant?" Ralph asked, as he entered the room.

Casey turned ten shades of red. Maybe it had been foolish of her, but she'd assumed that Derek wouldn't have company at eight o'clock in the morning. Hell, she hadn't even really thought that he'd be awake.

She hated to be rude, but Ralph was going to have to leave. This was really a two person conversation.

"Get out, Ralph!" As it turned out, she didn't hate to be rude that much; it felt kind of nice to yell at someone.

"You can't make me leave," he opened a can of beer--hell, it was noon somewhere. "You don't pay rent here."

"Neither do you," Derek pointed out. "So leave."

"Dude," Ralph said, incredulously, "you're taking her side?"

"No," he sighed, "I'm saving you. Think about it, do you really want to hear a Casey rant this early in the morning?" He didn't want to hear a Casey rant, but he figured he didn't have a choice.

"It can't be that bad." Ralph didn't want to hear it, but he didn't feel like walking across campus to his dorm either. But when he took a second to think about how Casey rants typically went, he couldn't help but think, 'Maybe it will be that bad.' "Catch you later, D," he said, before grabbing his bag and heading out the door.

"A Casey rant?" she repeated, moodily, once Ralph had gone.

"It got him to leave didn't it?" he shot back, as he took the seat across from her. "Besides, I'd think you'd have more important things to worry about… like your pregnancy."

"So you did hear me?" She frowned. "By your lack of reaction I was beginning to wonder."

"I heard; I'm just trying to figure out what you want me to do about it. March the guy to a church with a gun in his back? Kick his ass?"

'Like his scrawny butt can kick anyone's ass,' she thought, meanly. "I don't know; can you kick your own ass?"

Blinking rapidly, he asked, "What are you saying?"

"I'm saying," she paused, dramatically, "you are the father," she said, in her best Maury Povich voice. The expression on his face after she'd imparted the news of his impending fatherhood supplied her with her first real laugh in days.

"But h-h-how?" He stuttered, unintelligibly. "We only slept together once."

"Oh my God!" Eyes widening comically, she covered her mouth with her hands. "I totally forgot that you can't get pregnant from a guy if you only sleep with him once." Standing, she grabbed her bag. "I'm just gonna go find that other, imaginary, guy I slept with."

Rolling his eyes, Derek pulled her back and pushed her lightly onto the couch. "So that was a stupid thing to say."

"You think?" she said, sarcastically.

Ignoring her tone, he said, "Have you been to a doctor?" He smiled. "Maybe you're not even pregnant."

"Three months, no period (her period had always been an unpredictable visitor, which is why it had taken her so long to catch on); sporadic morning sickness; five positive pregnancy tests—yup, I think I'm pregnant." She shook her head. "You're just batting a thousand in the saying stupid things department today aren't you?"

"Sorry," he told her.

Silence engulfed them then. Casey looked torn between anger and sadness, and Derek didn't know what she expected him to say or do.

In fact, the only thing that had popped into his mind upon her announcement was something he had heard a comedian say a few years earlier: 'If your girl ever tells you she's pregnant, there's only one thing you can say…

"So what you gonna do?" He cleared his throat when Casey looked at him, she seemed startled he'd spoken. "What do you want to do?"

What'd she want to do? Well, for one, she didn't want to be pregnant.

"What do you want me to do?" She snapped back. 'He probably wants me to get an abortion; can't have a baby interrupting his screwing skanks schedule.'

Derek knew a trick question when he heard one. "Whatever makes you happy," he answered, neutrally.

"Whatever makes me happy? Kittens, butterfly stickers, the color coral, those things make me happy. But I'm pregnant, Derek," suddenly she felt on the verge of tears, "so could you please be serious?"

The tears were almost his undoing, but he wouldn't falter; Derek was upset too, and much like it always did, his being upset had him falling completely into ass territory. "You know what makes me happy, Casey? Sex. Sex with hot girls. And now, because I indulged myself, my life is ruined. Thanks. A. Lot."

Unable to believe what she was hearing--unable to believe his nerve, Casey took a second to try to get her anger under control.

But it was literally a second, and then she said to hell with it and slapped him.

"Go to hell."

"Too late," he rubbed his cheek, "I'm already there, thanks to you."

"Argh," she growled, making her way to the door, "I can't believe I ever slept with you." Swinging open the door, she marched out the room slamming the door behind herself.

"Yeah? Well that makes two of us," he yelled, after her.

But as soon as she was gone, it didn't take but a second for him to realize what a jerk he'd been. He hadn't even meant to be an ass, but she was crying and he felt like crying, and well… "Shit. Shit, shit," he mumbled under his breath. He was gonna have to fix this.

OOOO

It had taken a while, but Derek had finally gotten Casey's whereabouts from her roommate. And once he did, he didn't waste any time in getting to the main library. Upon his arrival he was more than a little annoyed to see some guy hitting on her. He became a little more than annoyed when he realized that the guy couldn't take a hint; Casey looked ready to tell him off. . . Or slug him.

And if she didn't hit him, Derek might.

Derek walked over to them, his body practically crackling with electricity. He was already hyped up over finding out that Casey was pregnant and their subsequent fight. Creepy hippie guy had really picked the wrong guy to mess with, intentionally or not.

"Leave," he barked at the guy. "She's pregnant."

Those two words would've sent most guys running for the hills, but not Mr. Hug-A-Tree.

"Derek," she hissed, clearly mortified. There couldn't have been a single person in a ten mile radius who hadn't heard him.

"So I'm guessing you're the father," hippie guy said, frowning in Derek's direction. Shaking his head back and forth, he tsked disappointedly. "That's too bad," his gaze shifted to Casey, "you could've done so much better; this guy's aura is fucked," he said, before turning and walking away.

"Don't I know it," she mumbled to his retreating back.

Choosing to ignore her last comment, Derek took a seat across from her.

"We need to talk."

"So talk." She had said all she needed to at his apartment. 'Let him apologize first, then maybe I'll talk.'

"Well," he sighed, "this sucks."

'So much for that apology.'

"I mean," he continued, "I don't even, like, love you."

'And… so much for us talking.'

Shoving the book she had been trying unsuccessfully to read into her bag, she started to stand, but he pulled her back down into her seat.

"Don't get all upset," he told her, speaking to her like she was a child. "You know you don't love me either; so you don't get to act insulted."

'That's what you think,' she thought sullenly, before crossing her arms over her chest.

"So how do I get to act then?"

'Hell if I know.' He shrugged. "I know you're scared or whatever." Lord knows he was scared. "And if you want to cry again," he braced himself, "I'm ready for it now."

"Oh, so you mean I have your permission? Gee thanks," she said, dryly.

"Come on, Casey," he scratched the back of his neck, "I'm trying here. I may be crashing and burning, but I am trying. But you gotta understand, when I went to bed last night my biggest problem in the world was where to take Tia for our date today, and now," he paused and gestured helplessly, "I don't know."

"Yeah, well, I don't know either," she said, sounding just as melancholy as he had. "A couple of days ago I was just a girl with an overactive imagination and a late period, and now I'm a girl with a scarily accurate imagination and no period. I miss my period, Derek," she whined.

"Please," he begged, grimacing, "stop saying period."

"I'm sorry," she replied icily. "Would you rather I talked about how not ready we are for a baby?"

'Actually, yes; anything would be better than hearing you talk about your period,' he thought. He refrained from telling her that though, since he wasn't in the market for a black eye.

"'Cause we're not," she continued, starting to sound weepy again. "I don't know how to take care of a baby, and you, you barely know how to take care of yourself." She barely got out the last word, before she started full blown crying.

When he said he was ready for her to cry, he had lied. What the hell was he supposed to do now?

TBC…

A/N: So… what did you think? Drop me a line and let me know.