It is not that I don't believe it, I heard it well, and I know exactly what does it meant. I don't know how people would react by hearing such news, may be I knew it since I first felt it, that's way I don't feel scared that much. I am dying, I knew since the first time I saw the blood on my palm. At that I was scared, it wasn't a regular thing to cough blood, and I kept it to my self.
''No one should ever know about it, not even him''.
But now things are different, I know that he loved me for over 20 years, and I also loved him, but I couldn't admit it until I realized it in front of count Feresen. I hated doing that in front of him, in front of any one! But it just happened, when my heart couldn't hold that weight any longer, so it just came out of my mouth, I couldn't believe what I have said, but I said it, and Feresen heard it, he smiled, and let go of me to rescue MY ANDRE.
I see him every day passing near me, looking at me, trying to say something, but he never opens his mouth to say those unspoken words, he just keeps looking at me, making me unable to keep my mind in this world.
''He should know about it''.
Why I am so weak? Why every time I wanted to tell him that I loved him to, I found my self telling him any thing else but not those three simple words. Is that hard to confess your feelings to the one you love? So, how could he tell me his love over and over? Was it true love? Or was he suffering that much so he couldn't hold it for the next 20 years? Or was it that losing your sight what will lead you to confess your love?
''I have to tell him''.
''Andre''
''What is it Oscar?''
It was long moment of silent before I finally spoke.
''Can you please help me with this? She was very slow lately; I think she is complying of something''.
Why I said so?
''I think she is just tired, it was long week for her, and she only needs some rest. I will take care of her''.
''Andre''
''Don't worry Oscar, she will be just fine. I promises'' and he smiled at me.
''Thank you, thank you for escorting me''
''Oscar!''
He almost said something but it seems that he changed his mind.
''Well, I better took the horses to the stable now''.
He took the mare and the horse to the stable and I entered the mention. I almost felt my tears on my cheeks; I cleaned them and fast went to my room, taking of my uniform jacket looking at my reflex on the hanged mirror.
''You coward, you couldn't say those simple words to him! Oscar you have to, there is no time left for you, both''.