"Let me get this straight... You brought a fucking piglet into this apartment?"
Maureen could just imagine the steam coming out of Joanne's mouth,
"But Pookie-"
Joanne slammed her hand onto the couch, "Don't fucking Pookie me Maureen! This place is already a pig stein as it is!"
"My cousins from Long Island told me If they could watch him—"
"And you couldn't find anyone else to watch her!"
Maureen wrapped her arms around Jo's waist, "c'mon Joanne, maybe this is what we'll do if we raise a child or a pet!"
The diva stole a kiss from the lawyer, but Joanne was still pissed.
The piglet ran around the apartment and tripped over Joanne's lawyer books, causing the animal to fall on its side.
Maureen looked over at her girlfriend, "Who could resist that cute face!" And then pouted.
Joanne ignored Maureen's comment and looked at her with an evil smile,
"You know what we should have for breakfast?"
Maureen shrugged.
"Bacon." She said.
Maureen punched her hard in the shoulder, "you're evil!"
The pig got up and jumped onto the couch, cuddling next to the lawyer.
Joanne slowly turned head towards the pig, "Mmm...Bacon.." She teased.
Maureen opened her jaw, "you're sleeping on the couch tonight with
Miss Piggy!"
She went into the bedroom and threw a blanket and pillow onto her girlfriend, "Goodnight Pookie!"
Joanne just stayed on the couch, "This is ridiculous..." She said.
She adjusted herself onto the couch while putting the piglet onto the ground. Once Joanne got herself into a comfy position, the pig jumped onto the couch and snuggled next to Joanne's face.
She opened her eyes, scrunching her nose, "What are you looking at?"
"oink."
Joanne sighed and snuggled the pig, finally falling into slumber.
The next day, Joanne heard some faint oinks in the background. Next thing she knew the pig was pouncing on her back,
"HEY! HEY! HEY!" She quickly took the small pig and lifted her into the air. She looked at the pig with intent and the pig tilted its head, confused by the lawyer's actions.
Joanne couldn't help it, "awwwww." Nobody could resist the cuteness.
She put the piglet onto the ground and saw a list of directions on the kitchen counter:
Hey Pookie! I forgot to tell you that I needed to go shopping for my next protest, I guess this is revenge this for calling me a "blatantly bisexual bitch" the other day. Here's a list of things you need to do.
-take the pig for a walk
-feed it (food is in the fridge)
-give it lots of attention (like yours truly ;)
Love,
Honeybear
"That bitch." She whispered to herself. She looked at the pig and still couldn't stay mad at it.
Joanne got a phone call and held the pig as if it was a baby,
"Hey, Steve...Yes, I-I mean no, I can't, I'm babysitting..."
She looked at the pig and went back to the phone call,
"A friend's..kid. No, I didn't get laid off! Just call me later, bye."
The next thing she was going to do was put the thing on a leash but, the pig squirmed out of her hold, running for the bedroom. Joanne was going to lose it. She was so close to catching the little piglet, but unfortunately tripped onto one of Maureen shirts and pig once again climbed onto her chest, claiming dominance of her temporary owner.
"Oink Oink."
Maureen came back with a bag full of cowbells and wires, "Pookie?"
She looked around until she found the two in the bedroom, lying on the ground.
"Did you two have fun this morning?" Maureen grinned.
Joanne lifted her head off the floor, "Fuck you, Maureen."
Before Maureen could lift the pig off her girlfriend, it started licking Joanne's face. Maureen was left hysterically laughing, causing her to fall onto the ground.
I really don't know how to end this story. Should I make this into multiple chapters? Please leave feedback!