Marital Spat
WARNING: Really bad jokes stolen from Science class found below.
Roxas slammed a pile of books about half his height down onto the table with a disturbingly loud thunk, then echoed that thunk by flinging himself into a chair. Exhaustion and frustration covered his face.
Beside him, Axel looked briefly up from deep within his Biology textbook, their eyes meeting for several seconds, and then he looked down again.
Roxas sighed, grabbed a book and flipped it open at random. Maybe two minutes passed before the book was flipped shut angrily and discarded. "Axel, what do you know about Uranus?" he asked without thinking.
Axel looked back up, adopting a professorly air, and replied intelligently, "I know that it's a hole in my butt and that Roxases squeak when you poke theirs."
Roxas very nearly facepalmed. "I meant Uranus the planet."
Axel's mouth fell open into a perfect o. "My anus is a planet? When was this discovery made? I think I should have been able to tell!" he spluttered in faux shock.
"My God, Axel, shut up," Roxas moaned in despair, hand connecting with forehead.
"Oh, so I'm a god now?" the redhead continued on anyway. "Well, I suppose that does make sense, seeing as how I'm so amazingly attractive and how my anus is a planet and all." He cast a laughing smirk at Roxas. "Now bow to your god and kiss his smelly godlike feet, slave."
"Axel, what will it take to make you shut up?" the blue-eyed blonde hissed exasperatedly. "The last serious thing you said to me today was 'Thank you Roxas' and that was eight hours ago and not even serious in context."
Axe; just grinned and retorted, "Well, now that you mention it, Roxy… I don't believe that's actually an option. I'm just on such a roll today. With butter. And a side of fries."
"Where the hell can you even order a roll with fries?" Roxas snorted.
"The café across the street," was Axel's prompt reply.
"No you can't!"
"You can when it's Demyx's shift."
"Oh, so Demyx is the source of all your happiness today, is he?" Roxas snapped.
"I never said that." Axel actually sounded mollified.
"Well then what in Xemnas's name are you so bubbly about?" Roxas challenged.
Axel's mollification descended into crestfallenness. "Why shouldn't I be happy, considering your hand?" he asked genuinely.
Roxas glanced at the back of his hand, upon which was scrawled, "Essay due 5/29, pgs 245-257" in red Sharpie.
"Your other hand," Axel remarked lightly, but Roxas could sense the hurt in his voice.
On his other hand happened to be a slim golden ring. He looked at it for all of two seconds before saying uncaringly, "So?"
Axel's expression broke into the realms of actual depression. "So eight hours ago you agreed to marry me and now I'm not allowed to be happy about it?" he pretty much whimpered.
"Actually, what you did was interrupt my very nice breakfast for some very sex, and then interrupted that to propose marriage. To which I did agree, but I don not see why this is relevant to your annoying, as you put it, 'roll.'"
"It doesn't… matter to you that we're engaged?" Axel asked softly, his green eyes growing bright.
"Well, it's a nice idea, but I don't see how it changes anything between us," Roxas responded, reaching for another book from his pile and cracking it open.
"How could it not change anything?" Axel countered, dumbfounded.
"Because, Axel, in case you hadn't noticed, we've been living like an old married couple for the last year," was Roxas's answer.
"Remind me why I'm marrying you again," the redhead shot back in a highly insulting tone.
Roxas looked up, threw the book into the growing stack of rejects, and leaned over to press his lips onto Axel's. "Because you love me," he breathed, and kissed him again, "because we were made for each other," and again, "and oh yeah, because you like it when I squeak."
Axel blinked down at him vaguely. "What were we talking about again?" he wondered dizzily.
Roxas smiled and clambered into his lap, fiddling idly with the zipper on Axel's jacket. "I think we were talking about Uranus," he replied, 'and how it belongs to me."
FIN
S.A.D. (Stupid Annoying Disclaimer): Kingdom Hearts is not mine, though if it ever goes up for sale, I will most definitely hire ninjas and fight off the rest of you to take possession of it.
As for how this came about, there are three.
One, I did accidentally tell this kid in Science to "Check Uranus's orbit" and my Demyx died laughing.
Two, my Roxas and I came up with the "on a roll with butter and a side of fries" at a Friendly's last Friday. Yeah, we don't exactly have lives on the weekends, :P
And three, I've decided AkuRoku is not fail after all, and that it is actually quite a lot of fun to write!
ClaymoreKaede if you are reading this, Demy wants his birthday present and says WTF to your fasasasa's. =D