Evi's Bad Twin
Once upon a time, there was an amazing actor named Evangeline Lilly.
She was on a prime time show called "LOST". She was close to the perfect image of what a good person should be (minus the bad driving and cursing). Unknown to poor Evi, she had an evil twin named Evi L. No, not Evil but, Evi L
Now, Evi L hated the environment, Christianity, and Dominic Monaghan. She hated family, love, joy and all things good (minus the good driving and she'd never cussed a day in her life). They were polar opposites. The only thing they had in common was their love for Polar Bears. Although Evi loved them because they were fuzzy and cute and God's little creatures. Evi L loved polar bears for their long fangs and their ability to kill.
Evi L was jealous of Evi's large fandom and the fact that their parents loved Evi more than Evi L. In fact, Evi L hadn't gotten to live with the Lilly's due to the fact that her glowing red eyes scared the heck out of them and they had been unable to look at her without wetting themselves in fright. Thus, poor Evi L had been left all alone in the Canadian cold.
So! One day Evi L decided to ruin Evi's life starting with ridding her of her happiness with her boyfriend, Dom. Evi L flew to Oahu and soon found Dom's house. She knocked on the door of Dom's house.
"Blimey, Bloke, cup o'tea, wave that jolly roger, wot, wot!" Dom yelled to no one in particular as to keep up with his English image, as he headed to the door.
"Evi!" he exclaimed, pulling her inside the house. "What're you doing here?! I thought we agreed to meet on Tuesdays, Fridays, and Sundays! Today is Thursday! The press will say we were getting it on or something! Even though we are! Just….can't you wait 'til tomorrow?"
Evi L was surprised that Evi had a schedule with Dom. "I…"
"Blimey! What happened to your eyes?!" Dom interjected.
"Er….I cut them. Now they're bleeding, eh?" Evi L said.
"Why the bloody hell did you cut them?" Dom asked.
"I was dreaming I cut them and when I woke up it had really happened." Evi L said, lamely.
"……Then how did you get here? You'd be blind!" Dom exclaimed.
"It was a…..miracle?" Evi L said, running out of excuses.
"Ah, well, might as well have a cup o' tea, fresh from the kettle, eh?" Dom asked.
"As long as it doesn't have crack in it." Evi L shouted.
"Blimey, how'd you know about my addiction?!" Dom said, sweating profusely.
"I'm your co-star, remember?!" Evi L snapped.
"Blimey, why are you yelling at me?" Dom asked, whimpering.
"Because I hate LOST!" Evi L smirked. "I think LOST is retarded, but not as retarded as your acting!" Evi L spat.
"W-What?!" Dom said, his big blue puppy dog eyes watering.
"You're a retard, too! I don't know why I'm with you!" Evi L growled at the now depressed Dom.
"B-but, I thought you loved me, Honey Bear! Honey bunches of oats? Sugar Bear? Butter biscuit? Sweetie Pie? Snookums? LOVE OF MY LIFE?!" Dom cried as Evi L stomped out of his house.
"See ya, you stupid hobbit!" She yelled, slamming the door behind her.
"WHY DON'T CANADIANS LOVE ME?!" Dom yelled with a sob toward the heavens.
"Heh heh, heh. Part 1 complete. Part 2: make Evi get fired from LOST." Evi L grinned.