Welcome to Nicktoons Academy, where all your favorite animated characters live the academic life. Every nicktoon, past and present, old and young, smart and dumb will attend the academy and see what life is like in a school for Nickelodeon's animated all-stars. Enjoy.
Johnny Elaine: Welcome to the Grand Opening of Nicktoons Academy.
Jorgen von Strangle: Greetings, everyone. As headmaster of Nicktoons Academy, I would like to welcome the new students who are going to take a trip into a place of education, socializing and competition. So without further ado, I hereby declare Nicktoons Academy... [snip] open.
[The crowd cheers.]
[Later, at a classroom.]
Mr. Krabs: Hello, students, I'm Mr. Krabs, and today, I will be teaching you the perfection of making a Krabby Patty. Now, first things first, the formula.
[A mic sneaks in from above the ceiling, revealing Plankton.]
Plankton: Oh, boy, he's doing it. He's gonna tell everyone the ingredients of the Krabby Patty.
Mr. Krabs: The first key ingredient of a Krabby Patty is...
Plankton: Yes. Yes. C'mon.
Mr. Krabs: Buzz off, Plankton!
[Mr. Krabs pulls the mic and plunges it above the ceiling, hitting Plankton.]
Plankton: Ouch.
[At the hallway, Spongebob Squarepants, Patrick Star, Doug Funny and Timmy Turner are at their lockers.]
Spongebob: Hey, did you guys hear about the new fraternity dorms we're staying at.
Timmy: Ah, cool, now us boys can be roommates.
Doug: Yeah, I guess I'm glad there are no girls to interrupt us with their girl talk...
Timmy: ...and their sassy talk about feelings...
Spongebob: ...and their attempts to get us sucked into romance, right Patrick? Uh, Patrick
[Patrick stares back at Leni Loud walking through the hallway and inadvertently tripping on a trash can. Out comes Stimpy the hall monitor.]
Stimpy: Hey, uh, no running in the hall.
Leni: But I didn't run, I fell over this trash.
Stimpy: Duh, OK. No falling over trash.
[Stimpy gives Leni a ticket.]
Stimpy: Report to Vice Principal Hoek's office.
[Leni groans.]
[Leni goes to Ren Hoek's Vice Principal office. Ren sharpens his knife.]
Ren: So, missy, what brings you here.
Leni: I, I, I fell over trash.
Ren: Hmm, I see. There's a lot of creeps and punks who are easily going to mess with my school. Do you know what I do to troublemakers?
Leni: Something sweet.
Ren: The only sweet thing I'll ever do... is punish the creeps, torture them, and make them pay.
[Ren throws his knife to a picture. Leni is shocked.]
Ren: Anyway, just make sure you don't do it again, okay.
[Leni nods her head.]
Ren: Right then, you're free to go.
[Later, at the cafeteria, Roger Klotz, Foop, and Plankton head to Spongebob, Patrick, Doug and Timmy's table. Roger gives Doug a wedgie.]
Roger: Hey, Funnie. Hey, other losers.
Doug: What do you want, Roger.
[Doug pulls down his underwear.]
Roger: Oh, us boys would like to give you a special welcoming gift right after lunch.
Foop: You could say you're about to be... spalshed with amazement.
Plankton: And we're probably going to force you anyway, because we said so.
[Later, The 3 bullys are giving the 4 boys Swirlies in the bathroom. They all laugh.]
[At the hallway, Lincoln is running in the Hall, as he bumps into Ed Bighead the janitor.]
Ed: Watch where you're going, boy.
Lincoln: Sorry, sir. It's just that I'm really late for class and I'm about to be in big trouble if I don't make it.
Ed: Well, that ain't my problem, boy. I'm only sweeping out dirt and eating leftover flies on the ground. Now scram.
Lincoln: Yes, Janitor Ed.
[Lincoln runs off-screen.]
[Later, Lori Loud, Debbie Thornberry, April O'Neil and Patty Mayonaise are hanging out outside the Academy.]
Debbie: You would not believe the time I was forced to have with the small ape and the human ape. They didn't get their filthy hands off my fragile stuff. Man, I hate being around animals.
April: Well I likebeing around animals, and they can even talk and fight bad guys.
Lori: I wish my Boo-Boo Bear could fight bad guys.
Debbie: So could Doug. I wonder what he's up to now.
[Doug and the others run away from the 3 bullies.]
Roger: Where ya going, fellas? We just wanna play with ya.
Patrick: With toys?
Roger: No, with toilet water. Ha Ha Ha Ha.
Leo: Hey!
[The bullies stop when they see the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.]
Leo: Why don't you pick on someone your own attitude.
Mikey: Yeah, or face the wrath of Booyakasha.
Raph: Wrath of Booyakasha? That's not even a thing, idiot.
Mikey: It is now. Booyakasha!
Roger, Plankton and Foop: Uh Oh!
[The TMNT fend off the bullies by using their weapons against them, until they're all sent to Vice Principal Hoek's office.]
Ren: What were you all thinking, fighting in MY school, assaulting students, destroying public property.
Raph: Hey, they asked for it.
Donnie: Yeah, and besides, they were bullying those boys, we had to do something.
Leo: Could we at least discuss this with Headmaster von Strangle.
Ren: Shut up! He's far too busy dealing with this problem.
[Cutting to Jorgen listening to Opera music while drinking coffee.]
Ren: Only I will deal with the likes of you. Speaking of which, you all get 90 days detention.
Turtles: What?!
Ren: Don't make me turn it into 90 weeks. Now get out of my office.
Raph [whispering]: Jerk.
[At night, Spongebob, Doug and Timmy are at their fraternity dorm.]
Doug: I can't believe those 4 turtles saved our lives.
Timmy: Yeah, they're so awesome. I wish I'd kick butt like that, if only Cosmo and Wanda were here.
[Cutting to Fairy World, where Cosmo and Wanda are seen having a vacation.]
Wanda: Ah, I'm so glad we're finally rid of that wish-obsessed boy.
Cosmo: I'm so glad I can finally forget everything I ever wished for, like my birthday.
[Back at the dorm.]
Spongebob: Hey, has anyone seen Patrick?
[Patrick is at the Sorority dorm. He knocks on the door. Vicky opens it.]
Vicky: Whaddya want, Pinky.
Patrick: Um, hello, is there a girl with a green dress in there. I really like to talk to her.
Vicky: Beat it, this is a girls-only dorm.
[Vicky kicks Patrick in the butt. He lands on the ground.]
Patrick: Oh, there's gotta be another way to get in.
[Patrick wears a disguise, knocks on the door and Vicky answers it.]
Patrick [imitating]: Hi, my name's Patricia, and I'm new here, and I wanna join you girls.
Vicky: Really, Pinky, that's the best you can do?
[Vicky kicks Patrick in the butt again. He lands on the ground again.]
Patrick: That's it. There's only one thing I can do now.
[Patrick storms into the sorority dorm by breaking the door.]
Patrick: I'm looking for a girl with a green dress! Which one of you is the girl with the green dress?
Leni: I'm a girl with a green dress. That's me.
Patrick: Would you be my girlfriend:
Helga: Hey, you can't barge in to our dorm and demanding to talk to one of us. Get him, girls!
[The girls chase Patrick away. Leni watches them as she sighs at Patrick.]
[The next morning, Leni is at the fraternity dorm. She knocks at the door. Doug answers.]
Doug: Wha- a girl? What are you doing here.
Leni: I just wanna see the starfish who wanted to see me.
Doug: You mean Patrick? He's right inside, but you can't come in here because this is a boys-only dor-
Patrick: LENI!
Leni: PATRICK!
[They hug and suddenly kiss.]
Doug: AAAAAH! Patrick! What are you doing to that girl?!
Patrick: We're in love!
[Patrick and Leni continue to kiss.]
Timmy: What's going on in he- AAAAAAAAAAAAH! A girl!
Spongebob: Girl?! AAAAAAAAAAAAAH! A girl!
Leni: Do you mind? Give us some privacy.
[Later at night, at the dance. Ren and Stimpy are seen watching the dance.]
Ren: You know, Stimpy, this is the simple life. Just watching young teenagers find love on the dancefloor. Sounds kinda silly, right buddy.
[Stimpy walks away to Helga.]
Stimpy: Say, beautiful, you wanna dance?
Helga: Back off, talking feline. My heart yearns for a football head.
Leo: Alright, Ninjas, be on high alert. Those bullies are bound to do somthing bad.
Mikey: Right, I'll keep on eye on the buffet.
Lana: Hey, buddy. join the party.
[Mikey and Lana eat at the buffet.]
Leni: Hey, Patrick, you wanna dance.
Patrick: Sure. Just one thing. What is dancing?
Leni: I don't know. Why don't we move our feet instead.
Patrick: OK.
[Patrick and Leni are dancing.]
Spongebob: I can't believe what I'm seeing, my best friend found true love. Isn't it wonderful?
[Roger, Plankton and Foop are sneaking up on the stage.]
Foop: So what's the plan, Klotz.
Roger: We're gonna throw rotten tomatoes at those 2 idiot lovebirds down there.
Plankton: Oh, very devious.
Foop: Devious indeed.
Roger: Just wait until the slow music comes up, which should be happening right about... now.
[Slow music is heard. Patrick and Leni slowly dancing in the middle. Roger, Plankton and Foop gets ready to open the sack of rotten tomatoes.]
Donnie: Hey, look up there.
Leo: Oh, no. It's those bullies. And they're gonna do something terrible. Come on, we gotta stop them.
[Mikey is still eating at the buffet.]
Turtles: Mikey!
Leo: STOP!
[The rotten tomatoes land on the turtles. The music stops.]
Raph: Ah, sick, man.
Leo: You're gonna pay for that, bullies.
Roger: Come and get us.
Raph: With pleasure.
Mikey: Face the wrath of Booyahkasha!
Raph: We're not making that a thing!
[The turtles once again kick the bullies' butts.]
Ren: WHAT?! They're fighting again?! Not on my watch.
[Ren whacks the turtles with a belt.]
Ren: ENOUUUUUUUUUUUUGH! This dance is now off! Everyone go back to your dorms, or do I wanna make you go back!
[Later, Leni and Patrick are walking alone.]
Leni: Well, that didn't go well.
Patrick: And I still didn't figure out what dancing meant.
Leni: Me neither. But at least we made the most of it.
Patrick: Yeah, sure. So I was wondering if you wanna go... out sometime.
Leni: But we're already out.
Patrick: Oh, yeah.
Leni: Let's just kiss.
[Patrick and Leni kiss.]
[Later, at Jorgen's office.]
Ren: And that's where I found these 4 reptelian rascals attacking fellow students. They should be expelled for thise insolence. What do you think, headmaster?
Jorgen: Actually, let's not talk about the turtles, Hoek. Let's talk about you putting an end to the dance early. A dance is like the most important get-together in an academy and you tarnish it. Not if I can help it.
[Jorgen goes to the dancefloor and dances all through the night.]
Ren: How long do I have to hold the disco ball, sir?
Jorgen: Long enough for you to shut up and for me to dance the night away. Hey, Squidward, how about a little music.
Squidward: I can't believe I didn't get a big part in this fanfiction.
[Squidward plays the clarinet.]
So there you have it, folks. You just witnessed what life is like for Nicktoons to attend a place of education.