Chapter 1

"A thousand mile journey begins with one step"- Confucius

Before I start my story you should probably know my family tree, or at least part of it. My father's, father's, father's father, or my great, great, great grandfather who immigrated from England, was a cousin to Louis Pevensie, who had four grandchildren and three of them had vanished mysteriously. If this does not make sense now, it will later.

My little adventure began when I was at the midnight party for the Harry Potter Encyclopedia, in the Northtown Mall Barnes and Nobles, and then out of nowhere I had nature calling so loud that I sprinted to the nearest restroom.

Upon opening the door I noticed a tugging on the hood of my sweatshirt, thus, I turned around to see what terd was holding me back.

Then, as if it had always been there, when I turned around I saw a giant owl that was about two heads shorter than me, sleeping in a tree. I had also found that it was quite strange that was now standing on a tree branch in instead of outside the bathroom. Since I had never practiced standing upright on a tree branch, naturally, I fell screaming.

Luckily I landed on a patch of earth that seemed too soft to be the ground. As I laid on my back, I wondered if I was a victim of date rape. Then I heard something echo out of the tree I fell out of, "Do you mind?! Some owls need their sleep!" This, having nearly proved to me that I was being raped in a bathroom, was quite shocking, so I did the one thing that sounded like the most logical thing to do.

Get some food.

After about fifteen minutes of scouting I found an apple tree and a huckleberry bush that produced huckleberries the size of grapes. I had also found a nice place to picnic. It was next to a poorly placed gas lantern/streetlight, (Which seemed surprisingly familiar) and by the look of the vines growing on it, it had been there a long time.

When I finished my meal, that tasted a lot richer than it should have, I started to relax and take a nice nap. Then I noticed a very tall woman dressed in earthly colors, had leaves in her vine like hair, and seemed to glide through the trees. Thinking that I might be able to get some answers out of her, I followed.

But no matter how fast I traveled, or asked her to slow down, it seemed like she was fading into the trees. When the tree-lady (as I named her) disappeared completely I found that I was very lost (not that I wasn't lost before) (If you know me, this happens often). After about ten minutes (I still had my watch) of roaming around, which seemed like hours, I heard the sound of trumpets.

That was the best sound I had heard since I had arrived in the strange land. But it was a sign of civilization. I knew running would be foolish because it becomes hard to hear over your heartbeat and breathing, so I walked briskly.

As I came closer to the sound I had crossed a river, lost half of my pant-leg, and said "good afternoon" to a talking hedgehog (Even though lost and confused, one must never forget their manners).

Within five minutes I seemed to have entered a large clearing or the edge of the wood. From it I could see that I was in a large valley and by the position of the sun I could tell that there were tall mountains to the North, West, and South, and maybe an ocean or a lower clearing to the East. I also found the source of the trumpets, and the medium sized army that accompanied them.

This army consisted of two leopards, several dogs, a good sum of dwarves (lack of better term), centaurs (yes I said centaurs), a guy that looked like royalty, and four giants.

Now realizing that I looked absolutely ridiculous wearing an old black coat with torn jeans and a dirty T-shirt, I started to think of something to do. But while I was contemplating about going back into the wood and waiting for a lone person to wander around so I could begin my thoroughly thought out plan, the two leopards had approached me and advised (ordered) me to have council with the High King.

When you find yourself being led through a fully armed group of 'people' who make you feel tall and others that make you feel small and a bit insignificant, you feel pretty humbled (Not to mention scared shitless). It also makes you appreciate seeing another human (it takes away a little bit of that isolated feeling). The High King looked about twenty-three to twenty-five years old, light brown hair, the early makings of a beard, a crown of thick gold wire, had a nice sword, shield, and suit of armor that had seen battle before (he also seemed like a kind of guy you could smoke a cigar with).

When he came closer, I stuck my hand out to shake; he seemed momentarily stunned before he returned the gesture and said, "Well, that proves you are not of Archland, son of Adam, so of where are you from?"

From the way he shook my hand I could tell that he was British and the heavy accent helped a little too, and I knew exactly what to say.

"I am Heffley, Daniel Heffley of Post Falls Idaho."

"What kind of country would name itself Idaho?"

"Oh, sorry, the state of Idaho, of the United States of America."

"By the Lion! You are of Earth!"

"Yeah, but who are you and where am I?"

"Oh, well then, I am High King Peter, King of all Kings of Narnia, I am also the Emp-"

"W-w-w-wait, did you way Narnia?"(my voice was becoming louder and more excited)

"Yes, but how did-"

"And you have three other siblings?!"

"Yes, but how-"

"And great-aunt Susan will be so glad when she finds out!"

"What does Susan have to do with this?"

"YOU'RE ALIVE!" and I gave him a hug.

"Well, I can see that."

The rest of the conversation was not as exciting as the first part, (mainly because a centaur thought I was trying to make an assassination attempt on Peter) so I will summarize.

After explaining that he, Edmund, and Lucy had been missing since before I was born, and great-aunt Susan, whom I had met on a trip to England, never really wanted to talk about it. But when we finished our conversation we were both stumped on how a half a century had passed on Earth and only about ten years in Narnia.

Thanks to one of the dogs, I was almost recruited into the army, but without the proper training I would be a nuisance. So, (Uncle) Peter decided to send me to Cair Pareval to speak with (Aunt) Lucy, who knew more about the transition between worlds, and if I could make good time then I would be able to see Edmund and Susan before they would leave to Tashbaan. But if I were to leave right away and find the beavers, they would lead me the quickest way to Cair Pareval. All I had to do was to follow the stream until I would come across a dam.

After goodbyes and good-lucks I set off to the river. After about an hour's jog I found the beaver's-dam. But to my dismay nobody was home. After trying to find a map hidden in the dark recesses of my brain, (from the books) I figured that if I were to go south-east then I should find Cair Pareval.

A good outdoorsman would know that if you decide to take a hike, at night, without the proper equipment (flashlight, compass, food, star-chart, spacesuit, etc…) would be death. But thank goodness I am not a good outdoorsman, but an excellent one (who doesn't need those kinds of things).

I left the dam at sundown so I knew I had started in the right direction. But after about three hours I figured that I was hopelessly lost and would have to wait till morning.

As I leaned my back against a tree I thought I heard a flute, but I soon ignored it and tried to go back to sleep.

Ten minutes later I was in pursuit of the music. And in the distance I could see the flicker of a large fire and things dancing around it. As I approached it I saw that the things were fauns and tree-ladies (nymphs is the proper name which I learned later) I could feel the warmth of the fire on my skin as I drew closer and it was then I realized how cold and wet I felt from being in the river earlier that day. I decided that I should ask someone the way to Cair Paravel, in hope of making good time.

But before I could ask of anything, a faun named Dribblebone came up to me and said something about "cheerin ya righ up ther" and gave me a cup of something that when drunk made me feel extremely warm. I quickly downed that cup and several more after that. Then I had the strongest urge to dance with the everybody else. I am not sure how long I danced, but I know that I made quite a fool of myself. And the last thing I remember that night was getting a good laugh about how I accidentally called Dribblebone 'Girdlebut'.

When I came to my senses, I was lying down next to a pile of ashes, with roses in my hair, and I was wearing clothes that I did not remember putting on, and I was pretty sure they were not mine. After evaluating that I was wearing brown pants and a green shirt that was made of an extremely comfortable cloth that I could not find a name for, a leather belt, and a brown wool cloak with a hood, but I still had my watch and my shoes. The only thing that was sad was that I was extremely hungry and there seemed to be no food around.

I quickly concluded that the sooner I found the castle, the sooner I would have something to eat. I started to head eastward to see if I could find the valley again before going too far south. After about ten minutes I was out of the wood and a bit farther south than I wanted to be. To the north-east (more east than north) I could see towers.

After a good four hour walk I made it to the gates of Cair Paravel just in time to watch Edmund and Susan's ship sail southward (oh well). Upon going through the gates I met several talking animals, dwarves, and a giant, who all congratulated me for becoming a 'woodsman' or something. But in the end they were able to find Lucy for me.

She was in the courtyard planting apple-cores. After formal greetings and a brief explanation of my journey we concluded this.

"From what Mr. Tumnus and I could figure out was that no matter how you try to solve the time difference, Alsan must be able to change things to fit the way it needs to be, if that makes any sense?" she explained.

I think it does," I replied "I think. But the only thing that does not make sense to me is that why are people congratulating me for becoming a woodsman or something like that?"

After recovering from a burst of giggles, (Lucy was about my age and was still able to do those kinds of things) she replied, "You mean you don't know? Well, um, the clothes you are wearing are only worn by a woodsman, and woodsmen are people that are either engaged or married to a wood-nymph. But by the looks of you, you must be engaged otherwise you would have daisies in your hair, but roses (that I took out because of the thorns) represent that you, well, you know." (The sad part was that she had to explain what "well, you know" meant.)

That night I had the biggest (and most delicious) dinner ever. I had never tasted, chicken, mashed potatoes, apples, grapes, beef, broccoli, (yes I ate broccoli) and a lot of other things I did not recognize.

I ate until I was content, and then some, and later that night I slept on the most comfortable mattress in my life. After sleeping on that all other beds are quite uncomfortable. About two o'clock in the morning I woke up as refreshed as ever and went to the dining hall to eat some breakfast.

Upon entering I saw Lucy talking with a red haired dwarf about plans for a ship. Since I am architecturally inclined, I went over to look at the blueprints (after I grabbed a few grapes). At the fist glance I thought that I had seen the ship before, and then I realized that it was the Dawn Treader, but they had named it Tread of Eve. After some quick discussing I was able to change the name, have a good sized space in the captain's chambers for a good sized ornament (lion's head), and add six extra bunks under the poop deck. But that was the least of their worries.

"You cannot go, because Peter may call for help!" Lucy yelled at the dwarf.

"But Your Majesty shan't go, because if the High King needs the help, then nobody will be left to hold off any attempts of invasion. Don't even try convincing me, because the Calormen know that King Peter, King Edmund, and Queen Susan are out, and might see this as their time to strike." retorted the dwarf.

This was about the time I thought that I should put in my two cents, "I could go." Their stunned silence did not help with my confidence so I went on, "But first I need to know where I am going and why."

"You would be going to Archland," Lucy said slightly surprised "so they could start building the ship."

"Yeah, I just have to head to the pass between those two peaks, and head south-east, right?"

"Just one day in Narnia, and how do ya know that?" asked the dwarf.

"I am well-read."

Before I could start packing my things (such as a spare set of clothes and some food) Lucy took me to the armory, just in case I ran into some trouble.

She gave me a coat of mail, (which was so light I asked if it was Mithril, and she just looked at me weird) a rapier, a bow and a quiver of arrows, and a chest plate with a lion on it.

After goodbyes and thank-you's (and having Lucy help me steal one of Susan's favorite dresses (for proof)) I set off southward. And by the time I was in the pass (about a day later) I was lost. But this time it was not my fault, it had become foggy enough that it was pitch black. Since I am a good outdoorsman I kept going instead of staying put until the fog cleared.

Then all of a sudden, (as if somebody turned on a light) it was clear as day and I was in front of the castle of Archland, but the gate was closed.

After knocking I saw someone fully clothed in armor on top of the wall (I had a sudden urge to ask for the Holy Grail, but I held my tongue hoping he did not have a French accent). A half an hour later of discussing who I was, where I was from, and who sent me, I had to tie the blueprints to an arrow and shoot it to the guard (Surprisingly he caught it with his bare hand (on my first try)). I told him to keep them in a safe place because you never know when somebody might need the plans for a ship. And before I left I sharpened a certain hook on a certain wall and tied a trip line on the path leading south. On my way back to Narnia (well, I think it was the right path) I ran into a group of Calormen scouting the path for any Narnian that might head to Archland. To get by them I told a great tale of woe about how I had lost everything except for what I wore, and it was my son's dying wish that I meet my wife in Lantern Waste and tell her of his death before traveling south to meet my long lost uncle of Tashbaan. And as easy as that was I was on my way until one Calorman drew his sword.

Unluckily, I drew mine faster and tripped, stabbed him on my way down to the ground, lost grip of my weapon, (mainly because it was stuck in his ribcage) I rolled over, accidentally tripping the second Calorman, and then I grabbed an arrow and lodged the last Calorman's into his eye socket and into his brain (the second one's head made very disgusting noise as it rolled into a sharp rock).

When I dislodged my rapier from a certain ribcage, I cleaned it, and looked up the path to see the back of an enormous lion. Seeing him brought up a lot of excitement, I began to sprint up the path only to be stopped by the men's bathroom door in Barnes and Noble. After regaining my composure (and explaining to the EMTs that I was fine, and the police later that night that I had always owned a dress, rapier and chain mail) I went to the bathroom and finally realized why people must not have to go to the bathroom as much in places such as Narnia.