"So, when you do post it, you're going to say, blame BrambleStar14 for planting this idea. What a jerk."

Yeah, what Bramble said. Hope you don't mind me actually using that, but I said I would, so... Anyway, I've wanted to do something like this since I got my outline to kill off Mich at the end of Phase One: Genesis. And I tried and tried and TRIED to get a decent oneshot written. Truly, I can't believe I actually wrote some of that junk.

And then this little scene popped into my head. Though not how I originally intended it to go, I am pleased with how it turned out. Which is way more than I can say about the other oneshots.

Oh, and blame BrambleStar14 for planting this idea, what a jerk. In all seriousness, though, thanks for noticing Mich blushing in the first chapter I ever wrote Cal in. This would definitely never have happened otherwise. Don't blame him.

I'm also thanking Mich, herself, for making me write that in that chapter. I had no idea why. That girl had a mind of her own.

Say Anything

"I know you hear me

I know you feel me in your arms"

- Evansecence, "My Last Breath"

I rest my hand on his scarred cheek. I watch the peacefully sleeping form of Cal for a long moment. He mumbles and shifts, but doesn't wake.

I breathe deeply and wish for one last day with him. Just one final hour. I would give anything to tell him how much I love him. Because I never got to before and now that chance is gone. I want to tell him not to be upset or miss me. Tell him I'll always be here for him.

My fingers lift a section of unruly hair from his face and smooth it down. One more kiss. The chance to look him in the eye and feel his hand on my skin.

If I could go back to the day I was killed, I would stay at his side and we would face Ark together.

"M...Mich," Cal says softly.

A tear marks a path down my face. I climb into his bed, sliding under the covers and pressing against his warm, strong body. Our foreheads touch and we would breathe the same air if I was not just a shade.

My eyes close for a moment and I try to imagine what he would say if he woke up right now and I was alive. He would hold me close and stroke my hair and kiss me.

In that moment, I feel the phantom of his lips on mine. All that we could have been, what we could have had, flashes through my mind. A ring on my finger and a house to our name. In that moment, a deep and profound sense of loss rolls through me.

Then I am alert again as Cal shakes. His eyes snap open and I am caught, staring into those blue, blue eyes. I am trapped. I don't dare move. I don't make a sound, but I would not be able to anyway.

He sighs and blinks slowly, running a hand through his hair. "Mich," he says.

The way it sounds, I feel as if my name weighs heavier than anything on his tongue.

I nod, mouth opening and closing. I just want him to know I am here. But I can't.

He starts to cry. He kicks off the sheets and jerkily sits up. The heels of his palms dig at his eyes and his shoulders shake and I can't do a thing to comfort him.

Cal swings his feet out onto the cool floor of the apartment. He stumbles over to the window that overlooks the Texan nightscape. He leans on the wall and clings to the windowsill like a drowning man, sobbing now.

Silently, I follow him. I put my arms around his waist and lay my face against his back and cry too.

"Why'd you have to go, Mich?" he asks, voice low and shaky.

I want so goddamn much to tell him I didn't want to. That I wanted to stay.

Cal's hand strays up and presses to the edge of his ribs, right where my head is. For a moment, I can pretend he can feel me there.

"Why did you do this to me, Hannah?" he murmurs.

I shake my head. If there was a way to make it easier, I would do it. If I had to erase myself from his memory, I would do it in an instant. The evidence of his pain is almost too much to bear.

But if he has to find a way to bear it, so will I.

"Cal? You okay, man?"

We both start at the sound of York's groggy but concerned voice coming through the door.

I feel the vibrations through his chest as Cal clears his throat. He calls over his shoulder, "Fine!" Then he turns back to the window and leans his face into the glass. "I'm fine," he adds in an undertone.

I follow his gaze out into the black. Over the dark land, past the still highway, floats one lonely star. I do not know if it is meant to be Cal or me. The sight is at once both beautiful and heartbreaking.

I tighten my hold on Cal, stretching up. I put my lips beside his ear. For the first time in many nights, I speak.

"Cal, I love you."

I tell myself it is simply an arbitrary movement. A coincidence. Whether it is or not, Cal's head drops sideways to rest on top of mine. He lets out a heavy, shuddering sigh.

"Mich, I loved you."

I knew he did.

I know you did.