"And that is why this game is a bunch of poopy diarrhea dicks." AVGN paused and turned off the camera. "That was beautiful." said a feminine voice, "You have such a way with words." Smurfette, AVGN's lover, stepped out from behind the camera. "Oh Smurfette, what is our love, what am I a poopy dick obsessed pervert." AVGN said. "I think you are a wonderful human being." said Smurfette. "That's just it," AVGN said, "I feel no love for human beings."
"James, don't feel bad," Smurfette said softly, "I, like you, feel no attraction to my people. That is why our love is so strong." "Yes, I guess you're right. You always know how to make me get out of a shitty butt poop cock mood," AVGN said, putting his hand on Smurfette's. "Without you, my life would be a pile of diarrhea butt," he whispered staring into Smurfette's bright eyes, "I remember before you came into my life. It was a heaping steaming bunch of poopy ass anus butt poop shitty floppy dick wieners"
"Oh, James" Said Smurfette, "I must leave, Papa Smurf said I must return to the village by sundown. He doesn't like me staying with humans." "Why the poop ass dick not?" asked AVGN. "He said it made me more vulnerable to Gargamel." replied Smurfette. "Well I must go now." "Could I have a kiss?" Asked AVGN. "Of course dear." Said Smurfette. Then They Kissed. AVGN sat down at his computer to research the his next episode.
AVGN began to type but immediately stopped he had his lover's kiss still lingering in his mind. He needed to go see her, he couldn't have her leave every day. He had to confront Papa Smurf. He got his coat on and ran out the door. The fresh autumns' breeze hit him as he exited, causing his jacket to flutter. "Fucking poopy ass penis coat," he muttered under his breath and took off.
As AVGN ran into the woods, he realized how stupid butts cock ass stupid it was. Only a smurf can find the village. He saw the small blur of Smurfette running around a bend, so he took off after her. "Wait Smurfette!" yelled AVGN, "Slow the shitty ass fuck down!" Smurfette realized James was following, "What do want James?" "I want to talk to Papa Smurf about us." he explained. "Okay, follow me!" AVGN followed Smurfette all the way to the entrance. "Holy fucking shit poopy ass dick penis butts cock that was longer than I thought." said AVGN.
"Wait here" said Smurfette. "I want to talk to him before you come in." AVGN sighed. Of all the rotten diarrhea luck. He thought to himself. Meanwhile Smurfette was pleading with Papa Smurf. "Please, I love him She cried, "But he is a human, the human race has not been kind to us in the past." He said. "But Papa Smurf, it isn't fair to judge a race by one mans unkind act." "No, and that is final." Smurfette sighed and walked back to James. "I guess we will never be together" she said. "I swear by my poopy ass dick we will find a way." James declared.
"Smurfette, let me talk to that poopy ass butt Papa Smurf," AVGN demanded. "He said no!" she replied firmly. "He won't budge." "Take me to him, it's the only chance we have!" AVGN yelled. The words resonated with Smurfette. "You're right, she muttered, "Let's go." They began to take off towards the city. Just when they could see the city AVGN's ankle was pierced with sharp teeth and he fell down, bumping his head. "Good job Azrael, now it's time for dinner," a mysterious voice echoed in his head as the world drifted into darkness.
James slowly regained consciousness and the world snapped into focus. He was in a strange damp stone room. It was dominated by a large cauldron bubbling with a strange liquid. Sitting next to the cauldron was a short man in ragged cloths. "Oh, you're awake." Said the man AVGN could only assume was Gargamel. "And just in time for dinner." "What the poopy ass do you mean?" Asked the nerd. Gargamel opened his hand reveling a small blue figure. "Help me James!" Cried Smurfette "He wants to eat me." AVGN looked down at the heavy ropes tied to his arms and legs, he would have to think of a solution, and think of it fast.
AVGN sat staring at the ground with his forehead cradled in his palms. He was stumped. He couldn't save Smurfette, he was just a reviewer on YouTube. But then he realized his true talent: yelling. He began to shout at the top of his lungs "YOU ARE A BIG GIANT BUCKET OF SHITTY POOPY DIARIAH BUTT ANUS FUCKING GIANT FAT FLOPPY DILDO DICKS! YOU LET GO OF SMURFETTE OR I'LL KICK YOUR FUCKING POOPY ANUS FARTING WIENER BUTT!" The noise startled Azrael and she latched on her master's leg. "Get off Azrael!" he yelled dropping Smurfette and the key to AVGN's cage. Smurfette snatched the key from the ground and handed to AVGN through the bars. "Let's go!" AVGN said to Smurfette as he unlocked the cage and put Smurfette in his pocket. They heard muffled shouting as they ran out of the tower.
Smurfette guided AVGN through the forest. They jumped over logs and ducked under trees until they reached the entrance of the Smurf Village. "Wait here," Smurfette said, "I'll talk to Papa Smurf. After a long wait Papa Smurf and Smurfette walked out of the village. "James Rolfe," Said Papa Smurf, "It has been a long standing rule that no humans are allowed in the village but you have proven yourself a hero and protector of all smurfs." "What Papa Smurf is trying to say," said Smurfette, "Is you are welcome in your village any time." "Oh Smurfette," Said AVGN, "This has been the least diarrhea dick poop day ever. I might even say it was enjoyable."
THE FUCKING POOPY ASS DICK END.