THE PROFESSOR HAS LOST HIS MIND!

The hubbub in the Gotham U. Student Union was still lively. The psych professor had shot off a gun in class! Would they commit him? Or at least cancel his tenure?

"Wayne, what do you think, dude?" Jackie grinned at his frat brother happily. "Do you think Dr. Crane was stoned? You never liked his classes, as I remember." Jackie paused mischievously. "Of course Crane did call you on sleeping in his class, you narcoleptic party-boy, you!"

Bruce Wayne looked a bit sheepish. Sure, since he was rich and young and good looking, it would seem right that he'd be a little dozed out in class, most teachers would assume he was doing bong-hits and body shots with GU's enticing coeds…

But who would believe that the night before Crane bawled Wayne out for sleeping—that he'd been dressed as a flying rat, chasing a diamond burglar across West Gotham? And really, how was he supposed to stay awake?

"This is why you need to do a little blow in the morning, Wayne." Jackie said, grinning. "I get it, two nights ago I banged little Monica Pettis from the Kappas till four in the morning, and my first class was at eight. You gotta try some of what I call uh, Chilean Ritalin."

"You're such an airhead, Jackie. Most of Gotham's cocaine is imported from Ecuador." Bruce said, biting his tongue. He wasn't supposed to know that.

And Jackie, almost reading Bruce's mind, said "And think, you don't even drink, but you're a regular Ripley's Believe It Or Not on the pharmaceuticals this morning."

Anxious to change the subject, Bruce pointed. "Who's that gorgeous girl talking to the Ornithology professor? Jeez, Cobblepot's almost drooling on her."

"That's Selina Kyle. I already tried her; she's probably some kind of lesbo. Cold as ice."

To any other guy, this might sound like sour grapes, but it really did take a lot of self control to resist Jackie's engaging grin. He was full of humor…not a care in the world!

JACKIE'S GOT A LOT GOING ON

Jackie waved goodbye to Bruce Wayne as he collected his books. Just keep grinning, buddy. Jesus, what I'd give to have that kid's moolah. Jackie was overcome with student loans, and his drug habit wasn't exactly helping. Wake-n-bake on pot, and then freebasing all day…his grades were suffering.

And of course that meant that his student loans could come due at any time. They watched your grades carefully at this creepy state college. Jackie had had a church scholarship as befitting one of the graduating seniors of the Bludhaven Orphanage, but then he'd gotten caught pissing in the holy water at chapel one morning, and suddenly had found himself having to borrow money and sell drugs to stay in school.

And then tonight, he was going to have to try again to get some more serious ka-ching. All Jackie really needed was about ten grand to pay his fraternity fees and for a bit of tuition (and for that idiot waitress's abortion, the one he'd met bussing tables at Paco's Taco's).

Jackie slipped into the Gotham Dramatic Society's offices, looking around. Where's the prop box? Masks and moustaches just don't cover my cute little grin…what's this? A big red thing, looks like a giant Shriner's fez…little eye holes. It's almost like a red hood. Interesting!

SELINA SEARCHES

Selina Kyle sighed as she closed the door to her little apartment. Holly was in the living room, watching "The View". She looked up at Selina and smiled guiltily.

I guess I won't ask about homework, she did actually go to school today.

"How did it go? No fights, I hope?" Selina smiled at the world weary eleven year old. Being turned out to whore in early childhood wasn't easy to give up, but Holly had obediently followed Selina when Selina had decided to give up her own street career.

"No, it went okay, Selina. I even played um, Double Ditch. With ropes. Not like other rope games." Holly smirked.

"That's Double DUTCH, smart-ass. But it's good you're making friends. Is sixth grade working out? You missed a lot of school, but you like to read, so…"

"Yeah, and the geography class ain't as hard—"

"ISn't as hard—"

"Right. It went okay. I like drawin' maps. What about you? Is college okay?" Holly cocked her head, regarding her older friend. Holly still didn't understand the power of education to CHANGE someone, not just "better yourself" in that blue-collar vernacular.

"It's good. I like most of my professors, though writing an argumentative paper isn't going as well as I thought. But oh, well."

"Selina, we're short again. Are you gonna turn some tricks? I could. My 'rithmetic teacher looks at me funny—"

"NO, NEITHER of us will ever turn a trick again. I'll go out tonight and look for some cash. "

"You could wind up in jail." Holly said disapprovingly.

"Hey, forget the View, what about that homework?" Focus on that Miss Judgmental Eleven Year old.