Lavi was not celibate. Fuck those who thought bookmen were.
He didn't flirt for no reason, though girls came easily to him. He didn't know what they saw in him. Girls weren't dense, they could sense something under his cheerful exterior. They didn't know what it was, but something. He didn't care. Because he really didn't give a shit about them.
But Kanda… Kanda.
Kanda was naturally attractive, of course, he was gorgeous. But he had slept with heaps of gorgeous girls, and fuck, even guys for that matter. They all seemed lacked the sheer passion, which was what Kanda seemed to be made of. Lavi told himself that that was the reason he couldn't stay away from him.
Sex with him was phenomenal. It was hot, angry, painful, loud sex, on the most inappropriate surfaces. They've fucked on the floor, up the wall, in the shower, and hell, even once on a table in the dining room. (Kanda wasn't pleased, they ate there, for goodness sake.)
Another reason why it only happened once was because of an unsuspecting Allen, who had come to grab a few midnight snacks, as he usually did. How this escaped Kanda, he hardly dared guess, but the real problem had been, just how were they supposed to explain to a shocked Allen why Lavi was lying, naked, on top of his equally naked self.
That incident had never been brought up, and never will be, if Kanda had his say to it.
It was all great and happy. Then, it was one starry fateful night that Kanda stepped over the line.
They were fucking on the bed. Kanda was never fond of foreplay. Always to the point, Lavi thought fondly. He ran a hand over Kanda's exposed chest, moaning at the sound of the other's hitched breath. 'Hurry…up…' Kanda growled.
Lavi didn't sense the danger, thus he didn't reply, and before he knew it, he was flipped around, and their positions reversed.
'…Kan…da?' he murmured, before he was silenced with two intruding finger's in his mouth. It wound inside of him, and Lavi was suddenly flailing, without even registering it. 'Hush, now, suck. Taking you dry isn't an option.'
Lavi's pupils dilated. Kanda… talk… dirty?
He didn't waste any more time; three slicked finger's entered him, at once and deep. Lavi cried out in pain, his subconscious telling him this was bad…bad…bad… but all he could register was the overwhelming pleasure shooting through to his lower region.
Humiliation.
Lavi cried out as, for the first time in his life, he was taken.
He was a prideful creature, and he knew, that it had just being trampled on. But that wasn't important, he told himself. No, it was the attachment that was threatening to be fabricated that mattered. The moonlight flittered into the room, a soft breeze rustling Kanda's hair. Lavi knew he never would be bothered to tell him just how lovely he was. He probably already knew that.
His mouth slithered into a smile, as he thought about the other egoist in the room. Kanda must have enjoyed all the sex they had, because Lavi never remembered him complaining.
Or maybe he was smart. Maybe he figured, if he was unwilling, Lavi wouldn't bat an eyelash before turning to someone else.
Lavi let out a haggard laugh, effectively waking the slightly older boy. Kanda stared – no, glared – at him, eyes glazed. Lavi dipped a finger underneath his cheek, with mock affection and said, 'Kanda.'
They knew. They both knew. That night would be their last together.
No tears were shed. What did an exorcist and bookman need for emotion.
That didn't explain why Kanda was, in all human simplicity: sad. He would never know that Lavi felt it too. He probably would be better off without the knowledge.
A/N: I really…REALLY didn't mean to write this. Blame my awful, dark muse.