Synopsis: Angelica Schuyler feels like she'll never be satisfied as long as she lives since her first secret love—Alexander Hamilton—married her sister, but what if she finds happiness with a certain someone else who feels the same way she does? Will she languish in her unrequited love the rest of her life or will she let go?
TRIGGER WARNING: Slight Hanglecia (Angelica x Hamilton) and Lams (Laurens x Hamilton). If you're homophobic, please don't read this fan-fiction. I don't want reviews saying how it's not okay to be gay. It's the 21st century, get over it.
Pairing(s): [Alexander Hamilton, Elizabeth Schuyler] [Angelica Schuyler, John Laurens] [Aaron Burr, Theodosia]
"May you always be satisfied!" Angelica Schuyler wished, holding her half-glass of wine upright in the air with one hand whilst having her other hand hidden in the folds of her dress, clenched into a fist without anyone else's knowledge. She could feel her perfectly-manicured nails digging into the palm of her hands.
"ALWAYS BE SATISFIED!" Alexander's best friends—Lafayette, Mulligan, and John Laurens—all shouted together, slurring their words since they were drunk. She gave a slight smile in their direction but it disappeared as quickly as it had come.
She felt her heart start to clam up in her chest and, to prevent any untoward words that might come out of her mouth, she clamped her lips shut. The corners of her mouth twitched irritably with the almost-overwhelming urge to speak her mind like she always has. She focused her gaze on her sister's smile, so full of hope and love for her future. Think of her and you'll push through, she willed herself to comply silently in her mind. It's all for her.
Her gaze involuntarily shifted to the person beside her sister and immediately, she knew it was a bad idea. Her husband, Alexander Hamilton, had one arm swung around his wife's waist with the other holding a glass up in the air. His cheeks were bright pink, no doubt thanks to the alcohol's effects. It made her nostalgic, thinking of how he wore the same happy go-getter expression when they first met at that fateful ball not too long ago. The same ball he had won Eliza over.
She stepped down from the elevated podium and walked slowly but surely towards the newlyweds. She set her glass down at a nearby table she passed and stopped in front of them. She plastered a smile to her face, holding her arms opened wide for her sister with a tear trickling slowly down her cheek.
Elizabeth Schuyler—better known as Eliza—made a beeline for her sister and practically made Angelica topple over with the sudden tackle. Thankfully, she was able to keep them both up.
"Angie," Eliza whispered her nickname that only she and a few other close friends exclusively used, "I'm so happy!"
One look at the tears streaming down her face and Angelica knew without a doubt it was true. She wrapped her arms around her sister and held her close. "I know. I wish the best and more for you and Hamilton."
She risked a glance at the man in question, smiling sadly at him. Tears threatened to pour out of her eyes at the sight of her secret first love, and rather than try to futilely will them away, she allowed them to stream freely down her cheeks. Everyone else will think they're tears of happiness for my sister, she reasoned with herself. Little do they know that they're tears of regret.
The Schuyler heir let go of her sister and took a few steps towards Hamilton before glomping him the same way Eliza had done with her. "Congratulations, Alley Cat," She whispered her nickname for him near his ear. Her tears spilled down from her face and onto his coat, absorbing almost instantly into the cotton fabric.
"I'm not an alley cat anymore, now am I?" He asked rhetorically, hugging her back.
She smiled her first genuine smile the whole entire night. "No, I suppose you're not. I'll have to think of another nickname for you."
He pulled away from their hug. "I await eagerly for it, Milady."
He had started calling her "Milady" as a form of respect since he began dating Eliza, but she longed for him to call her what he called her when they first met; Angelic Sky. It was a play on both her first and last name, she knew, but no one had ever called her that and she swore her heart skipped a beat when he first addressed her that way.
It's best this way, she told herself. If he continued calling me that, there's no telling what I would've felt for him.
Alexander's eyes widened in realisation and Angelica held her breath involuntarily, wondering if he knew what she had been thinking. He just clapped his hands together and gave her a goofy smile. "Oh, that's right! We're planning on having an after-party once we're finished with the wedding. Care to join us?"
She let out a breath that she did not realise she had been holding and smiled sweetly at him. "Thank you, but I'm afraid I will have to decline. I have a busy day planned tomorrow and need to get some sleep."
That was only half the truth. In all actuality, she did have a few things planned for tomorrow—such as making a few public appearances on behalf of the Schuyler family—but mostly, the reason she had to leave was because she didn't know if she could take another minute of watching the groom and bride. She would apologise to her sister later, but for now, she planned on going home and crying her heart out until she couldn't cry any longer. Then, tomorrow, she'd put on the fake mask she had worn for a while now and forget all about her first love. She'd just be happy for her sister.
She said her goodbyes and walked out of the room, letting out a relieved sigh when she breathed in fresh air. She waited outside for her chauffeur for a while, squinting her eyes as she tried to spot a carriage in the distance. No such luck. She decided to preoccupy herself with starring at the night sky while she waited.
Staring at the night sky, she was immediately reminded of Alexander's eyes. It wasn't that his eyes looked like the sky; they weren't even dark. They were a light, coconut-coloured brown that went well with his dark, chestnut-coloured hair. The thing that reminded her of Alexander's eyes as she stared at the sky was the fact that his eyes seemed so vast and wondrous, twinkling like a thousand stars when he was in the spotlight. He's my sister's husband, and I'm glad I still have those eyes in my life… but…
I will never be satisfied.
"I will never be satisfied either," A familiar voice murmured beside her. She immediately flicked her eyes around to find who the voice belonged to and gasped once she realised who it was. It was no other than John Laurens!
He looked thoroughly disheveled, his formal attire in complete disarray. She spotted multiple holes where he had unbuttoned his shirt, and his jacket was lopsided on his shoulders. Despite all that, he looked handsome; he always had. His curly hair was pulled back into a ponytail and framed his face to perfection, little curly strands falling out of place but highlighting his high cheek bones and smoldering eyes perfectly.
She blinked, shaking her head to clear herself of these observations. "W-Wait a second! How did you know what I was thinking?!"
He slanted his eyes in confusion. "I didn't know what you were thinking. You were saying it out loud to yourself."
Oh, God, what else did I say out loud?! Does he know how I feel about Alexander?!
TBC.
Author's Notes: Okay, my writing is a bit awkward since I am trying to use words/phrases that people in the 17th century would say. Please bear with me as I try to make it less awkward! ( ^ ~ ^ )
In case you're wondering how I got the idea for an Angelica x John ship, I was watching Caw-chan's Helpless animatic on YouTube and saw how they subtly made the possibility for them to be together. I started thinking about how they would get together and decided to write this fan-fiction! I hope you enjoy! 😊
On a slightly different tangent, I would like to say I won't be updating this consistently. My updates will more than likely be sporadic—I have two other fan-fictions I'm currently working on—so please try to be patient! I'd really appreciate it.