Purple
by Lacrimula Falsa
Summary: Sometimes the missions of SG-1 end in a way that's less dramatic and more...colourful. [Samantha Carter/Janet Fraiser, possibly AU. Short post-mission fic. Complete.]
Disclaimer: I do not own any part of the Stargate franchise/universe. I write because it's fun, not to make a profit.
A/N: For Vexed_Wench on AO3. I've never written fic for Stargate before. Participating in fandom_stocking 2017 seemed like the perfect opportunity to change that. Sam/Janet, because I ship it and so does my stocking-gift-receiver. (Yay!) It's not very explicit though. Reviews are, as always, appreciated.
Sometimes, the SG-1 team comes home from a mission bruised and battered or – even worse – half-dead.
This time, they come home bright purple from head to toe.
It probably says something quite sad about Janet's life that instead of bursting into laughter, she's immediately concerned and in full doctor mode.
Grabbing her stethoscope, she hurries over towards a limping Colonel O'Neill.
"What happened?"
O'Neill sat down on one of the infirmary's beds, shooting a disgruntled look in the direction of Doctor Jackson.
"Daniel had some trouble with newly discovered alien technology."
"I told you, I didn't know it would explode!"
"Well if something looks like a bomb, sounds like a bomb and smells like a bomb–"
"There's no such thing as a bomb smell, that's ridiculous."
"Indeed, Doctor Jackson had no way of knowing that the device would self-destruct."
Daniel nodded, gesturing emphatically at Teal'c.
"Thank you."
"He could, however, have headed the chieftain's very specific warnings."
This time it was O'Neill's turn to nod and gesture at Daniel. Emphatically.
That was the moment Sam shouldered her way into the conversation – quite literally – by pushing past two orderlies taking her blood pressure and pulse respectively.
"What we've been subjected to is a type of pollen. Apparently, it happened to their scientists before. They say it's harmless, but of course, they don't know that for sure since we're Humans. Their doctors told us to except headaches and mild nausea if we breathed it in." Sam smiled, looking amused despite herself. "And that it stains, but that one is obvious."
Janet looked her over, taking her pulse herself.
"Hm, so far everything checks out, but I'll write you down as 'on observation'. If no symptoms show up I think we can put this one in the 'harmless' column. If any of you experience any physical unease, swing by the infirmary. I'll also take blood and urine samples and send them down to the lab to make sure there're no lasting ill effects."
O'Neill nodded.
"Good, good, great. Oh, and Daniel?"
"Jack?"
"The next time someone tells you not to push a button...don't push it."
"Yeah."
=V=
A few minutes later, after the whole SG team had been – in Doctor Jackson's words – 'swabbed, pricked and measured', Janet grabbed Sam on her way out of the infirmary.
"Hey, Sam?"
"Janet?"
Janet smiled mischievously.
"You know, I was wondering... How far down does the purple go exactly?"
Sam's smile was just as impish when she leaned in to whisper in Janet's ear.
"Why don't you swing by my quarters later and find out?"
Sometimes, Janet decided, exploding alien technology was great.
– The End –