By Sakura1203
Author's notes: Li and Sakura decided to write an entry on their journals about their feelings for each other. This story is set during the Sakura card series. I'm not really sure how old Sakura and Li are during that series. So, I just placed their age to 13. If I'm wrong, I apologized. Hope you enjoy it =)
Disclaimer: CCS is own by CLAMP.
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[Li's bedroom]
Li Syaoran leaned back against his seat with a deep sighed of frustration. He eyed the black, leather-bound journal in front of him. He's been sitting on his study desk for almost half an hour, staring at the blank page, and continuously debating with himself on what to write. He frowned and crossed his arms around him, *Why the heck did I even bought this thing? I can't even think of anything to write.* He sighed and sat up straight on his seat, *What a waste of money!* He muttered irritably. He was about to closed the journal and put it away when his mind drifted of to a certain girl with auburn hair and emerald colored eyes. *Sakura.* He whispered the name in reverence. Ever since he realized that he loved her. She had been in his thoughts constantly from that moment on. Her mere presence awaken feelings inside of him that he never knew existed; and until he can find the courage to reveal his feelings to her; he just have to settle on admiring and loving her from a far. But maybe he can express his feelings in a different way. Li glanced down at the journal and came up with a brilliant idea. *Since I can't tell her how I feel about her, yet. I'll write down my feelings for her instead.* He smiled as he picked up his black pen. *Looks like this journal is not as worthless as I thought.* He sighed and started to write his entry....
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Dear Diary,
This is my first entry. I still can't believed I bought a journal in the first place. I have never used one in the past and I don't see why I need to now. And yet, here I am. I'm compelled to write my most deepest secrets; my deepest feelings about someone, and until I can admit my feelings for her, I guess this is the best place to start. Sakura. What is it about that name that the mere sound of it leaves me weak in the knees? Makes my heart beat fast, my pulse race, and my soul ache with unbelievable longing that it consumes me day and night? It's a simple name; a simple six letter word. That's all. Nothing more. And yet it affected me so much that it leaves me longing to hear it some more. All I know is the very thought of her, the simple mention of that precious name, sends my heart in a flutter. She's intoxicating, charming, and captivating. She gives me joy and happiness more than she will ever know. She affected me like no one has ever had. Breathless. That's how she made me feel. She leaves me breathless whenever she's around; whenever I hear her speak in that soft, sweet voice of hers; whenever she smiles at me. Emeralds. Her eyes are like glittering emeralds. Beautiful, dazzling, and beaming with light, compassion, kindness, and fire. The sweet thoughts of her fill my head whenever I'm feeling sad and alone. As I drift off to sleep at night, her face is the last image I thought of; and when I wake up in the morning, the memory of her haunts me still. I thought of her through out the day, and even though I sat behind her at class, she's still unreachable to me; still out of my grasp. In my dreams, I see us sharing our love eternally; planning our tomorrow's forever; holding hands as we walked along the beach, watching the sunset together; a feeling of contentment and happiness etched on our faces. But when I wake up, a feeling of emptiness surrounds me instead. I don't know if what I feel for Sakura is just an infatuation; a fleeting moment of admiration; and yet deep in my heart, I don't believe it to be so. The feeling I have for her is more than just a crush; more than just admiration. What I feel for her, I believe, is love. Pure and genuine love. But of course, what do I know about love anyway. I'm only 13. And yet I felt connected to her somehow. Our destiny's are entertwined. I'm sure of it. I felt it the first time I saw her; and until I can find the courage to tell her how I feel; writing my feelings, here within the pages of this journal, would have to do for now. And so, before I cease writing, dear diary; I just want to add the words I longed to whisper to her ear; and that is: I love you, Sakura Kinomoto.
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Li placed the pen down and closed the journal. He glanced at the alarm clock by his bed, *11 o'clock already?* He heaved a tired sighed and stood up, heading towards his bed by the window. He moved the blankets aside and slip in, burying himself under the warm, comfortable covers. He yawned and stretch his whole body, groaning slightly as he did so. His eyes drifted to the journal on top of his study desk. He never realized how emotionally tiring it is to write an entry in a diary; and yet somehow, it also gave him a feeling of satisfaction and relief he had never felt before. The heart-warming words he wrote; the image of Sakura in his thoughts while he pour out his feelings within the pages of the journal, still lingers on within him. A smile crept on his lips as he remembered every word he wrote about her. He sighed, *Someday, Sakura. Someday, I will tell you how I feel. I promised.* He glanced up at the full moon shining brilliantly outside his window. He could almost picture Sakura's face, smiling sweetly down at him. He smiled as his amber-colored eyes shut closed and he slowly drifted off to sleep, an image of a certain Clow mistress lingering on his thoughts as he did so.
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[Sakura's bedroom]
Sakura Kinomoto yawned and stretch her arms above her head. She leaned against her seat and glanced down at the words she entered on her journal. For today's entry, she decided to write about her hidden feelings for Li. She doesn't know what compelled her to do so, but she's glad she did. She cared about him very much; and the more she sees him, the greater those feelings for him increased. She longed to tell him how she felt, but she lacked the guts to do so. But within the secret confines of her diary, she can express those feelings without any complications or any heart-ache. So, until she can find the courage to reveal her feelings to him, writing in her journal is enough for now. She heaved a heart-felt sighed and started reading what she wrote one more time before she head to sleep.
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Dear Diary,
It's me again. I'm not really sure what to write today. There's nothing really interesting that happened to me. But since my thoughts kept drifting towards Li, I decided to focus my journal entry on him instead. Li. Why does that name affected me so? Just hearing that two-letter word make my heart flutter, my face blush, and my knees go weak. You know what's funny, Diary? Is that I didn't even liked him when we first met. I thought he was just a spoiled brat, who's only concern beside himself, is to capture all the Clow cards before I did. Then I hated him even more when he started developing a crush on Julian; and that's when the competition between us got a little personal. As I remembered those days, I can't help smile to myself right now. So much has change between Li and I since that time. We are good friends now. We no longer compete against each other anymore; but instead we worked together now in capturing all the Clow cards. My feelings for him change as well. I think I love him, Diary. I know it sounds shocking. But I won't deny it anymore. I won't hide these feelings anymore. Of course, I still lacked the courage to say it in front of him, but writing it down within this pages, helps me analyze my feelings; and it also help me practice for that crucial moment when I can finally express my true feelings to him. I'm not really sure why I loved him so? I just do. It just felt right being around him. The emotions I feel whenever he's around me is unexplainable, but it felt wonderful inside. His voice soothes my soul. His warm smile leaves me breathless. I think of him every day and every night; and I always wondered whether he thought about me too. Diary, I'm not really sure if it's just a crush I'm feeling, or true love; but all I know is that he makes my heart feel wonderful; and until the day comes when I can tell him that, all I can say right now is this: I love you, Li Syaoran.
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Sakura smiled as she closed her journal. She stood up from her seat, walked towards her bed, and slid the covers off to the side. She layed down and wrapped the blankets around herself. She glanced at the full moon peeking outside her window. *Someday, Li. I will tell you how I feel. I promised I will.* With Li still occupying her thoughts, Sakura closed her eyes and drifted off to sleep.
~The End~