Author's Note: Season 3 Spoilers, obviously. It was re-written based on their scene together, which I adored. I thought the scene was executed perfectly, it was awkward and confusing and had lots of tension and we're still not sure where they stand. It's Quinn-centric, based on how she may have thought about everything.
"But then I was sitting here and I realized," She had done her best to fight him off, he was stronger and quicker than she remembered. He had twisted her arm behind her back and forced her against the wall. He could have killed her many different ways but he was just talking to her, and she wanted to say something back. Something that would hurt him. Something that would break his icy heart and make her feel victorious. But he was pressed against her and held her tightly not giving her any room to move.
"I saw you on camera." His body was flush against her own and she felt shame for being caught on camera and she felt like a coward because of the way her tongue was glued to the top of her mouth. He had hurt her. He broke her open, and threw her away when she was of no use to him anymore. He had stripped her of her title and left her alone and floundering in an unforgiving world. Now she couldn't utter a single world or hurl an insult in his way, she had practiced in the mirror when she was alone but now that she was face to face with him she couldn't mutter anything.
She was going to kill him when she first saw that he was here to finish the job. Blood raced through her veins at the idea of him being the helpless one, but he was the teacher and they never revealed all their tricks. Now she was vulnerable and she had to sit here and listen to him and attempt to not be affected by their closeness and the entire situation.
"I trained you." He said honestly but there was pain in voice as he spoke. He did train her, he made her into this unstoppable and unbeatable machine but her wires were frayed and cut and she didn't know where she fit. Even in B613 she was always attempting to prove herself because she didn't fit there, the only place she had felt comfortable was Olivia Pope and Associates since being dropped into this seedy world of lies, murder and deception. He made her into a functioning version of himself, and turned her away when she got too close.
He had ignored her, shunned her and refused to acknowledge her existence. It hurt knowing that her close friend had done this and it hurt even more knowing that she loved him, and he would never be able to accept her love. He was too use to pain, lies and secrets that he couldn't trust her or himself. Her breathing was labored and he moved to the side so she could could kick out and escape.
"I made you." She almost nodded her head, his cheek brushed lightly against her own and she bit the inside of her cheeks. The entire situation was unfair, he shouldn't have been able to do this and continue to get away with it. He did make her and forced her to realize these things, she belonged to him no matter how she tried to spin it. Her life may have been her own but he had shaped it and changed her; who she was, how she thought, what she did and what she liked. "And you're good Quinn." He was no longer gripping her wrist but his fingertips stroked the top of her hand for a second, it was brief but she felt the familiar heat from his palm but just as quickly as she felt it it was gone. He returned the iron grip he had on her wrist, she had been dying to hear those words from him. He rarely said them to her at all before everything snowballed out of control, and to hear him praise her even if it was for the last time was wonderful. It hurt to still be affected by Huck. "You're special...talented." She grew angry at him, and herself, she would have rather he just killed her than put her through this torture. Now that she wasn't a gladiator anymore it felt like false praise, if she was so special why did he turn his back on her? If he truly believed that she was talented then why hadn't he trusted in her? Why hadn't he listened? "Which means I shouldn't have seen you on camera." She tried to push him away but he was stronger than her and quicker, being her with him like this hurt, and the emotions she had been hiding and holding onto were slowly being revealed.
Charlie had taught her a few tricks of how to hide them, normally with smiles, but even his handy tricks were failing her now. She used her knees to push off the wall but he held her tightly and forced her back to their previous position.
"You would have demagged the optics, swoop the visual and cut the upload. There's no way I would have seen you." She knew what he was going to say next, she knew exactly what he was implying, "Unless you wanted to be seen." She struggled finally winning the battle but it was short lived, he grabbed hold of her wrist and slammed her back against the wall.
"I don't know what you're talking about!" She looked him in the eye as she spoke, he didn't look at her like he did when he was torturing her. He actually made eye contact, he was treating her like she was human.
"You wanted me to see you." He gripped her tighter, he was telling the truth, it was all she had ever wanted but now wasn't the time to admit it. She was still angry and wasn't ready to give that up yet, "You wanted to see what Jake was doing... what B613 was doing." He leaned forward and stared deep into her eyes, he looked worried and scared. "You're not broken, somewhere in there you're still a gladiator." The dam that was holding her in place broke, he had taken everything from her and left her alone with no one except Charlie, and even he didn't know that yet. How could he come in here and say that to her? She was still a gladiator? He had told her that she no longer could be a gladiator, he had stripped her of that and now he tried to give her the title. A title she could never have again without being worried that he would change his mind and strip her of it. She was disgusted with him, if she was broke it was because of him. He had opened up to her and made her feel welcome, he had taught her so many things and shaped her then he hurt her and broke her beyond repair. Now he wanted her to come back, he wanted her to search for the little bit of good that was left in the bitterness that engulfed her life. She promised herself she would never cry in front of him again, her tears had meant nothing as she begged him not to hurt her. What good would they do her now? He didn't deserve them and she would not let him break her a second time.
She spit in his face, it was exactly what he deserved and she welcomed whatever pain he was going to bestow upon her for doing it. Her mouth was the only thing she had control over, he surprised her by not doing anything but allowing the spit to roll down his face. She couldn't hold the words that were on the tip of her tongue, he was bold and it bothered her that he thought he could get away with it without her saying anything.
"You tell me I'm a gladiator and then you take it away and now you're here and I'm just supposed to.." She had felt the tears welling up in her eyes. She had searched his eyes for remorse or something besides the pitying glare. He expected her to fall in line and go back to following him blindly. He would abandon her again, and she would be alone again and she wasn't ready for that. "Screw you. Screw. You!" He had been inching towards her slowly, fear took over her when she saw his mouth moving towards her own. Her first thought was that he was going to bite her, or detach her bottom lip with his teeth. But he had kissed her, it wasn't soft and gentle either, it was rough and hard full of passion. He raised her hands slowly up the wall and intertwined their fingers as he dominated the kiss. His tongue moved inside her mouth as she moved her mouth over his. He licked, sucked and bit at her mouth like it was something he wanted to do the entire time. He was the first one to pull away, he moved his hands from her body and took a step backwards.
"Quinn..." He said her name in that worried voice as they both stared at each other. She was shocked about what occurred, but this time he was the one who openly showed confusion. The only sound in the room was their labored breathing, had everything been leading up to this? Had he done it just so she would bend to his way of thinking? Did he secretly know how she felt the entire time and now was using it to his gain? He had look just as shocked as she had, now these thoughts were swarming in her head along with her distrust for him.
"If you're not going to kill me, then get the hell out." He hadn't looked shocked at all, he still looked surprised and scared as he walked away from her slowly and gathered his things. She was glued to the wall and watched as he walked past the black G30s on the floor and grabbed his red toolbox. He walked silently up the steps and closed the door behind himself. She thought it might have felt good to see him so shaken up and scared, she always imagined that she would feel victorious or better than this. His reaction was honest, he hadn't expected to do that at all and neither had she but it had felt right. Something inside of her unlocked as a tear rolled down her cheek, she touched her lips and thought back to everything that happened.
He had kissed her like he wanted her and like he missed her, almost like he loved her.
Everything happened quickly, too quickly, she slid slowly down the wall and sat with her legs drawn up towards her chest. Quinn laughed bitterly as she wiped away the tears. The life she was living and the life meant for her were different, just as the man she was with and the man she wanted were different. For years choices had been made for her, she had wanted to control her own life and her own destiny and when she was finally faced with a choice to make she didn't know what to do, and there was no one to turn to for help.