Sonic High
By "Grand Master Shoma"
I'll be blunt: I do not own these characters, but I own this fan fiction. Don't steal it.
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Note: I have a Sonic Adventure 2 game that me and Judge Neusy both play and raise Chao upon. Our two Chao in this story are:
Juki: A Hero Running Chao. Has phoenix wings, rabbit ears, and a spiraling bluish-yellow spiral.
Shade: A Dark Running Chao. Has everything leopard, and has spikes similar to Shadow.
No one may use these Chao for any of their fanfics under any circumstances. They're our Chao.
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February 17, 2001 7:45 P.M.
"Sonic! We have upon us a problematic and catastrophic situation. We need a savior like you to deal with this!" the president said as he was sitting across from the world-renowned hero, Sonic the Hedgehog.
"Stop with the big words, and just tell me the fuckin' situation!" Sonic calmly replied whilst playing Solitaire on the table.
"We have found out from a few student council members at the high school that almost one-third of the entire school population are under the effect of an illegal drug scam." The president said while straightening himself from getting jittery all over. "We need someone who will stop this organized drug spree."
"Don't worry, Mr. President! Me and my posse will be able to handle this!"
"It's not that simple, Mr. Hedgehog. That school won't allow any outsiders inside, even if they were government representatives. We need some undercover agents, to enter the premises, zero out the exact plans, and drop the smack down on those fuckin' stoners!!"
"Undercover agents?"
"Sonic, you and your, so called 'posse', will have to enter the school, and become high school students."
Sonic, surprised by the statement that he has to go to school, let out a gentle "WHAT!?"
"Please Sonic. You're our only hope about this."
Pissed, but deciding to go along with the president's plea, said, "I guessed I'll do it. For the children, and not for kissing up to your fat, presidential ass!!"
"... That hurt."
Sonic called up his posse, consisting of: his sidekick Miles 'Tails' Prower; his good bud Knuckles the Echidna; his stalker Amy Rose; his fat fishing feline friend Big the Cat; his new friendly nemesis Shadow the Hedgehog; and the world collector of jewels Rouge the Bat. They all sat at the bottom of the subway system, discussing about things.
"Why me?" Tails said in a worrywart tone, agitated by the idea.
"You know that's the only way we could get the air conditioner, Tails. All you have to do is to sell yourself as a hooker, get someone to pay $75, then am-scray out of there." Sonic finally silenced the air once again, getting everyone focused. "Anyway, we have been given a new objective."
"Explain." Big calmly said while silently staring at Rouge's hooters.
"Well, the president wants all of us to go undercover as high school students to bust an illegal drug spree, happening at the school."
"Do I have to give a fuckin' rat's ass about this?" Shadow angrily made a point about this, and while playing with his little Dark Chao, Shade.
"Yes. We start tomorrow, so we have to be prepared about this. Meeting adjourned." Sonic announced. Everyone was busy as motherfuckin' beavers trying to get prepared.
At nighttime, Sonic was thinking about how the mission would go while snuggling his Hero Chao, Juki. He was thinking about if he was going to fit in with the crowd, and other shit. Tails didn't know whether he was going to take Physics or Shop class. Knuckles panicked so much, he couldn't sleep. Amy just wanted to be with Sonic. Big had to get the respect of the people, so he wanted to bring Froggy as one of those designer backpack accessories. Shadow didn't give a rat's ass, so he took his Shade and used it as an accessory as well. Rouge thought about all the guys she would entice.
February 18, 2001 8:00 A.M.
Now today was the big day. To become less conspicuous, they wore the school uniforms, and were put in different homerooms. Tails and Big went in one, while Sonic, Amy, and Shadow in another, and Knuckles and Rouge in one. Things were whacked up at the school. Everyone liked Big and Shadow's 'backpack accessories', and were quickly popular.
At lunchtime, the posse gathered, and reported about what happened during their morning.
Big and Tails had problems, because they were about 20 minutes late. But that was quickly forgotten when they asked the teacher what was wrong. He explained that his car was busted, so he had to push the car all the way to the school. Tails came up with a perfect idea. He told Big to get the car, and he broke through some walls, but he got the car. While Tails was busy fixing the car, Big gave them the skinny on what he was doing. The teacher would've expelled them, but Tails did a fantastic job on the car, and the two were praised. In Biology class, we would have missed a good friend of ours, our dear Froggy.
Knuckles and Rouge had a hard time fitting in, but they got by that. Knuckles showed the class pictures of his 'vacation' (Picture some screen shots of Knuckles' stages from Sonic Adventure 1 and 2, and in scenes where it looks like he's going to die. That's basically what he showed). Rouge basically enticed half of the homeroom population (Yeah, some girls lost their interest in heterosexuality, because of Rouge), and the girls fell head over heels for Knuckles.
The hardest ones that had problems were the hedgehogs Sonic, Shadow, and Amy. No one ever heard of Sonic the Hedgehog, not a soul. Very disappointing. Very. Amy, finally realizing that she can never have Sonic, decided to hit on some of the boys there, like that cute blond guy named A.J., or the Spanish redhead named Pedro. Shadow actually has his own stalker, and her name is Lucinda. All the girls love Sonic and Shadow's Chao, saying they are adorable and all.
Every chance they got meant a chance to find the cause of the situation. From the back alleys of the street to the secret corners of the bathroom where kids usually get doped up, they found nothing. All and all, they were slowly failing on their mission. Besides, this is their first day.
"I can't believe we haven't found any leads yet!" Sonic yelled as he pounded the table with his fist. "None what so ever!!"
"I agree. It's although that we picked this school bone dry, we find nothing about this secret operation. We're probably screwed." Big said while gobbling down his fourth sandwich.
"Wait a minute... I thought I saw something." Knuckles stated as he saw some students getting some crates out through the south entrance, which is the entrance of the cafeteria.
"Chao! Those young teen punks were slowly carrying small crates, holding whatever could be inside. That could be a perfect mother-fuckin' hiding spot for some mother-fuckin' marijuana or mother-fuckin' cocaine! Chao!" Shade squeaked while nibbling on Shadow's sandwich.
Shadow, embarrassed by his Chao's language, quickly reassured the gang "I swear, I don't where he fuckin' learns this mother-fuckin' language."
"...No clue, what so ever?" Sonic glared at Shadow.
"Nope."
"Let's finish this up guys. Bell's gonna ring anytime soon." Tails said.
"Yeah, I don't want Lucinda hunting me down again. I swear, she's gonna fire tranquilizer darts at me again to stop me in my tracks."
"Shadow, how bad is she?" Rouge asked.
"She's so fast with it, not even my Chaos Control escapes her! Even when I do pull it off, she manages to get me." And as the bell rings, Shadow tried to escape, but he was down.
February 18, 2001 6:45 P.M.
Jujutsu, one of the student council representatives, was waiting for our heroes to arrive. Her, along with Anoka and Hibiki, went with them to the hidden base. The hidden base which is called the Student Council.
"Here in this facility," Jujutsu stated with a hope in her voice, "We work night and day to solve crimes that are done by students. We busted many people, from getting the principal high, to illegal purchasing of fertility drugs."
Sonic, sounding ever so confused, questioned "Why fertility drugs?"
"They probably either mistook it for after-night pills, or their men couldn't knock 'em up." Shadow sarcastically pointed out, while stopping his Chao from pushing the self-destruct sequence. He then whispered to his little Chao, "Shady, you know not to do that. You trigger the self-destruct sequence when they're not looking."
"That's right." Anoka said. The gang was all surprised. "Once, even some students were arrested for killing two faculty members and one-sixth of the school population 20 years ago."
"The bastards!!" Knuckles growled.
"Even now, we have..." Hibiki paused in order to get some reports. "... Some spies have found out the location of some fucked up stoners. We need you to kick their asses, and bring them back to HQ, ASAP."
"Won't they tattle the location of the HQ if we bring them here?" Big asked.
"... OKAY! Just squeeze the information out of them, okay?"
"Now, I got it."
And now our heroes went off to the coordinates of the junkies: an abandoned alley way. But will success follow them? Or will doom greet them with his golden sickle of death? You want to know what happens? Read on!
February 18, 2001 7:10 P.M.
Our heroes were sneaking around the noticeable areas in the alley: dumpsters, stray cats and dogs, back entrances to strip clubs, and etc. The sky was gray and muggy, too hot for them to handle. Froggy and the Chao were starting to get uncomfortable because of the heat of the night. "Can you just show yourself, you doped up teenage bags of smoky flesh?" Shadow yelled off, his voice echoing off into the distance. As usual, nothing responded in the bleakness. "COME AND FIGHT US!!" He yelled even louder. Still, silence confirmed true. "YOU WEAKLINGS!!!!!" His vein popping on his neck, Shadow started steaming from his ears.
"Calm down, Shadow." Sonic said.
"Sonic, I have found the exact location of the students." Tails promised while looking at a radar watch that Jujutsu gave him. As they were all observing his little monitor, they saw red dots going away from the yellow dots, which represents them. "They're going away from us, and they're heading into that abandoned factory."
"It's always in the abandoned factory, isn't it?" Sonic said. They then were running into the abandoned factory. The creaking of doors, windows, and rusty machines only spooked our heroes (Just a little).
"AAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!" Amy cried, "Something's touching my leg!!" Amy soon found out that some dirty rats were squeaking around her, and all the while, there were repeated flashes of lightning and thunderous roars. Our heroes were unshaken.
"AAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!" Tails wailed, while getting a tight grip on Sonic, "I'm afraid of lightning!!!!" Yeah, Sonic was basically embarrassed for Tails' immature behavior. Then, some specters came out of nowhere, making faces.
"AAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!" Knuckles screeched like a little girl, while murderously killing the ghosts. He had multiple veins, popping out of his neck, and was really pissed (I mean, . angry!!). "I hate fighting the damn fuckin' supernatural!!!!!!" They then heard the creeping of some students in the backroom. They obviously followed after them. They then saw those druggies packaging large crates of pot and grass. They were basically in stealth mode.
"Chao! Yeah, I knew I was right! Oh yeah! Go Shade man!! It's your birthday! Chao!" Shade hollered.
"Shade, shut up!" Shadow whispered to his little Chao of death, only to be found out by the students. They obviously attacked our heroes, but they obviously had to retaliate and fight back. 0:03:67 seconds; a new melee record. "Alright, tell me what you know about your employer! Why are you doing this?" Shadow yelled as he grabbed one of them by the collar of the uniform.
"We don't even know who our employer is!" The druggie tried to speak. "All that we know is that this mysterious being told us that he would pay us $100,000 to ship all this pot to a small, European country."
"The bastards!!!" Knuckles growled in anger and fury, almost destroying a wall. He then regained calmness. Knuckles then started to set fire to the pot, not realizing that he was releasing the smoke into the storage area.
"No!! We're all going to die!" Amy screamed as she was smacking Knuckles with her Piko Piko Hammer, repeatedly.
Our intrepid and dashing heroes felt that they should save the stoners, so they grabbed them, and darted away. Right before the building exploded. Didn't see that coming, now did ya? Of course you didn't.
February 19, 2001 1:45 P.M.
Our dashing and vigilant heroes have found a lead on the pot scam: a mysterious employer pays them $100,000 to ship all that pot to a small European country. Why? Why indeed. As they were in Physical Education, Sonic was asking Shadow about what happened.
"Now, who would do such a low and cruelly shallow thing like that?" Sonic grunted, while climbing the rope. Such an arduous climb, it was.
"Well Sonic, it's quite hard to think about." Shadow grunted along with Sonic as he was elevating himself up the opposite rope. "We don't really know anything about this villain. He is mysterious, and forces students to get high, and to ship products that get people high." They both fell off after, landing on the pad below.
Caressing his derriere from the fall, Sonic said "Well, it's a long shot, but I think it could be that nasty-looking Japanese-teaching teacher, Mr. Ichijouji."
"I think this is the work of that fat-headed, egg-shaped, fuzzy-moustached scientist, Eggman."
"Nah. Eggman is bad, but he's not evil enough to bribe some stoners to ship about how many tonnes of pot, weed, and cocaine to a small, smokeless, European country."
"...True."
Meanwhile...
"Chao! I can't fuckin' move!" Shade cried, stuffed into Shadow's bag. Squirming around relentlessly, he screeched "I want to come out!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Chao!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
"Chao! Oh, suck it up, you big baby!! Chao!" Juki commanded, while the same time, was stuffed into Sonic's bag. "Chao! I think his math book is squishing me! Chao!"
"Chao! I thought you told me to not act like a big baby. Now who's a mother-fuckin' baby? Chao!"
"... Shut up. Chao." After a few minutes, Juki heard some drinking noises coming from outside. "... Shade, what are you drinking?"
"Chao! I just found Shadow's Gatorade. Yum! Tropical Shungokusatsu*! You can try some! Chao!" And Shade magically teleported the Gatorade to his Hero Chao associate.
After sampling some of the drink, Juki only came back with a "... Damn!!! That's some strong mother-fuckin' shit! It's so damn fuckin' tasty! It combines Akuma's mother-fuckin' Shungokusatsu, with the mother-fuckin' goodness of 4 mother-fuckin' tropical fruits!!! Chao@#%@%"
"Chao! Now you're riding the mother-fuckin' trolley! It does taste like mother-fuckin' Tropical Shungokusatsu! Chao!" And as those potty mouthing Chao kept on badmouthing at each other, Sonic and Shadow came back into the locker room early.
They heard their Chao converse, using the 'F' word, 'S' word, and Shungokusatsu many times. They were handled very easily.
"Juki!! Why were you swearing?" Sonic screamed while forcing some tickles onto the little fucker. (Look what those mother-fuckin' Chao did to my narrating! I'll never show myself again to the world!! Darn you, you Chao!!!!!!!!!!!)
"Chao! I was just bonding with my good buddy, Shade. Chao!" Juki giggled while psychically taking the Tropical Shungokusatsu Gatorade and accepting another sip. Again, he cheered "Tropical Shungokusatsu rocks ass!!! Chao!!!"
"Anyway, we have to go now. Shade, stay with Juki at all times!" Shadow calmed down Shade with a cookie. "Sonic, you now have responsibility of my Chao!"
"Let me get this straight... If your Chao gets lost, or dies, I get the ass handed to me?" Sonic was dumbfounded.
"Yeah, that's the jist of it."
"Well, shoot my foot and paint me cranberry red, god damn son of a bitch!!"
"Shut up and let's go!" Shadow barked harshly as he nabbed his partner's arm and dragged him away. They then saw a giant robot attacking the area around the school. It looked similar to the G.U.N. robots, but alot bigger. And it also had a familiar insignia on it. No doubt about it, it was Eggman's. It was splashing it's laser fire all around the area, and the people were powerless... except our heroes. All our heroes did was a combination of Big tying the robot down with his fishing line, and the heroes duking it out (Even the Chao got a few hits on that mechanical monstrosity), until it blew up, causing millions of Chaos Drives to sprinkle down like snow on the first day of autumn.
"Where did he go?" Big shot out, confused on how Eggman wasn't around when the debris fell. Then, out from the scrap metal, emerged Eggman.
"I can't believe my plan's going to become a worldwide success!" Eggman whistled cheerfully while the gang was... a bit... confused on the topic engaged here.
"Um, Eggman, we just destroyed your giant, maniacal robot. And you're happy, because..." Sonic pointed out.
"That's because I've shipped all the drugs I worked out of the students to a small, European country that you'll never find out which."
"France?" Shadow guessed.
"England?" Big asked.
"Ireland?" Tails pondered.
"Spain?" Amy tried.
"Sweden?" Rouge inquired.
"Luxembourg?" Knuckles questioned
"Portugal? (I'm from Portugal.) Portugal?? It's Portugal, isn't it? Portugal? Portugal? Portugal? It's Portugal, isn't it? " Sonic took a shot at it.
Eggman only came back as "No, No, No, No, that country looks like a dick you dirty bat girl (do not flame me all Swedish people), No, and NO!!!!"
"..."
"I mean... Maybe, maybe not. You'll probably have to go to Lisbon to find out where the exact coordinates are." While Eggman was laughing in an evil tone, the Chao yelled out together "THE MOTHER-FUCKIN' NETHERLANDS!!" Eggman was ashamed. "... Stupid fuckin' Chao always ruining my plans."
"YAY!! We got it!!" Juki cheered.
"Slap me some mother-fuckin' skin, mother-fucker!" Shade yelled as they slapped some skin.
"Shady!!" Shadow noticed as he grabbed his little Chao. "Will you stop with that constant swearing?"
"But Shadow, you mother-fuckin' use this mother-fuckin' language every mother-fuckin' night, while mother-fuckin' badmouthing about mother-fuckin' Sonic!!!" While glancing back, Shadow saw Sonic give the 'Look Of Death**'. "Am I mother-fuckin' right, my mother-fuckin' friend?"
"You're mother-fuckin' right, my mother-fuckin' friend!!!" Juki hollered, seeing now that Sonic changed course of his 'Look Of Death' from Shadow, to his Chao.
"Now, to the Netherlands!! We ride!!" Big yelled as he started to go to the airport, only to see Tails and his friends cramp together into the Tornado. Big managed to snag the plane with his line. Will they make it to the Netherlands on time? Yes!!
"That was a short flight." Rouge said, surprised to see that they were already in the country. On the map, it's second-smallest compared to Luxembourg. But, someway, and somehow, they found out the location of the president of Netherlands (He was at the whore house, doing some big pimpin'!!!) And they argued long into the night, only to have wasted about 14 hours with an ignorant leader.
"C'mon, you don't want your country to get hooked on this stuff, do you?" Tails stated, while ogling the strippers, and at the same time, getting smacked in the head by Amy and Rouge.
"As long as my people are happy, I wouldn't give a rat's ass."
"Sure, that's good and all." But Big then started to make reasons meet with the president. "But think about this: Eggman deals out the drugs. If the people get hooked on it, there's a good chance that they'll vote for him, and he'll become president, and you might be on the gutter, begging for spare cash. What do you have to say about that?"
After a minute thinking over it, he yelled out "SOMETHING MUST BE DONE!!!"
Now the president found Eggman, and basically had his hide blasted very gorily. Yeah, that ending probably sucked. Gotcha!! That's not the ending! He was put away in an insane asylum for a good few years. And our heroes couldn't get their assignments handed in on time, so they all got an F-. Sucks to be them!
THE END
*Shungokusatsu is Akuma's level 3 Super Move
** Neusa Gaspar, a.k.a. "Judge Neusy" invented the 'Look of Death'
***Shadow is still alive!! He will never die!!!