Title: Right Where I Should Be
Author: Blaney
Summery: This is my take on what the season 6 finale will be based on what I have read, it turned out maybe a little more out of character than I know the show will be, but I am still happy with the results.
Spoilers: Season 6 mainly
Disclaimer: I don't own the show or the anything associated with it, I would be glad to be a writer or even a gopher… seriously I don't take up much space or eat a whole lot, just give me a little spot in the corner and I'd be happy… I know how to write… kind of…
REVIEWS WELCOME
Author's note – I had my editor take a crack at this; she finished it after the episode aired. But I elected not to make any changes to the story; it turned out (both this story and the episode) how I wanted it to… I got some things wrong but the things I really cared about (Huddy) I got right and for that I'm very happy with the story. I look forward to next season and what that could mean for all of the characters… All of them
(Boom) House's fist hit the wall in his bathroom. He wasn't sure what he was doing, but it seemed to help him focus. As he looked in the mirror, he began to see flashes of memories of the night.
"…come on Hanna don't do this to me now, (continued flat line tone)"
(Crunch) The plaster splintered and fell away as he put a hole in the wall. Somewhere in the back of his mind, the small part of his rational brain wondered if his neighbor would hear and call the cops.
"… House it wasn't your fault."
"I know I did everything right and she still died…"
(Crunch) Another hole in the wall…this one revealing very familiar, no longer hidden, pill bottles. He started to reach for them but stopped knowing he couldn't. He had worked to hard to reach this point…then…
"I don't love you…I'm done…"
(Crash) House, howling with wounded rage, lashed his fist out and the mirror shattered upon impact. He savagely reached for the pill bottles and pulled one out, opening it and shaking out two Vicodin. He sighed, fighting the urge to give in. He closed his fist to keep from looking at them…it didn't help. He could still feel them a very familiar weight in his hand. It's siren call begging him to just take them and let go…that he had nobody left… He turned his hand back over and opened his fist…
(Flashback 7 hours ago)
"Cuddy, you are the senior physician on site, you should be top side directing. So get your big administrative ass up there and organize things so we can get these people out of here." House said has he followed Cuddy down the hole he had heard the Fire Chief yelling that the area wasn't stable; he wanted her out of danger.
"The incident commander is taking care of that, House, you know that…"Cuddy said she looked at him strangely knowing that despite his nonchalant personality he usually conveys, he is familiar with disaster protocols.
House glanced down at the woman that Cuddy had been quietly talking to. He heard her tell Cuddy her name was Hanna, and she was a receptionist here. He could see with one quick glance in the dim light of their flashlights Hanna's right ankle was pinned or maybe crushed under several tons of concrete and metal just below her knee. He knew that with all the dust and dirt and who knows what else in the air an infection was almost a guarantee. He tuned back in to the conversation just in time to hear Cuddy tell her "… we might have to amputate your leg. I'm sorry." House spoke with out thinking "You are NOT cutting off her leg." He had a flash back of when she had said those exacted words to him…
Cuddy's head whipped up to look at House. "Dr. House, could I have a word with you?" she ground out in a quiet voice, then bent back down and assured Hanna they would be right back. They walked out of ear shot and Cuddy spun around on him faster then he thought she could move in this small space. She was mad. "Do NOT punish this woman to get back at me."
House would have drawn back in shock at the venom in her voice but he was angry too. "I'm not. I am just looking at all the options before jumping to the safe option, which isn't even that safe. You know the risks with amputating. Its almost as dangerous as waiting for the rubble to be removed." House didn't recognize that the words he had used had another meaning to Cuddy. She saw it as House condemning her for trying to move on with her life with Lucas…the very gesture of House giving her her great grandfather's book with both of their names in it, an annoying mockery of her failed relationship. She and Lucas had broken up almost a month ago due to her inability to let go of her feelings for House, and Lucas's increasing jealousy and lack of being there for her and Rachael, which had been the main reason she was dating him in the first place. She believed that House had known they where separated and he was getting his revenge for what he perceived as her betrayal of him.
But the truth was House had no idea. He genuinely believed that she was still with Lucas, and was trying to let her go so she could be happy.
Cuddy, knew she was going to say something she might regret so she said, "Fine you stay here since you can't move around very easily…" her anger making her take pot shots at his leg. "I'll go see if I can help somewhere else." She moved on carefully climbing over each obstacle and shining her flashlight back and forth trying to find more survivors.
House watched her go, ignoring the shot about his leg. He was logical enough to accept it, and now he had a patient to take care of. He moved back over to Hanna and sat next to her, "I'm Dr House. Dr. Cuddy went to go get help, so I'm going to stay with you until it arrives. First I have to ask you a couple of questions. We call them mental status questions. What is your name?"
"Hanna"
"Okay, do you know where we are?"
"We are under the office building I, now used to work at." She responded
"Alright, last one, what year is it?"
"2010" She said she had answered all of them with out any hesitation. She was mentally alert. Good sign.
"Good, I'm going to take your pulse now, okay?" He was working hard at being nice. He needed her to stay calm. A patient that panics gets that much closer to death, and he had already lost enough today.
"Okay, so what's with you and the other doctor? Neither of you were as quiet as you thought." She was trying to make conversation with this stranger who had elected to stay with her
"Picked up on the tension did you? Dr Cuddy and I…we have known each other for a long time. We where friends once, but have drifted apart…" He said curtly, not wanting to elaborate. Even though she was a stranger, so had the dying man been that he was trapped in the room with during the lock down a couple of months ago. Her pulse with was kind of weak, but not deadly… yet. "Okay Hanna, I know your leg hurts, but does anything else hurt, and are you feeling lightheaded or nauseous?" He could see the pain lines around her eyes. He was very familiar with them, they looked a lot like the ones he saw every time he looked in the mirror.
"Uh…my leg is the only major pain but my entire body hurts. Little light headed but no nausea… Please help me." She was starting to panic. It was hard not to panic, she was scared.
"Shhh, I know you are scared and it hurts but you've gotta remain calm okay? Hang in there a little bit longer. We'll get you out and to the hospital in no time. I'm going to move down and try and see if I can see your leg, don't go any where," he soothed, trying to lighten the mood and calm her back down.
"Ha ha, funny guy…" she was having a hard time keeping her eyes open, and she couldn't remember his name…she's usually so good at remembering names…
House could hear the pain and the confusion in her voice. "You're doing great Hanna, try and stay with me okay… tell me a little about yourself. What are your hobbies? Got any family…a husband? I bet a beautiful woman like you has 'em lined up…" He used the flashlight to try and see her leg, but couldn't see anything. That, her other symptoms, and him having no supplies was decreasing her chances of getting out of here rapidly.
"I'm a runner. I like to play tennis and have been known to golf a game or two…" she started to answer but talking was getting harder. She looked up at him as he moved back towards her. He hid his fears well, but she could still see them. Or maybe she was projecting them onto him.
He readied himself to give her the bad news…he never believed in sugarcoating anything. He would ether have to leave her to go get supplies or she would probably die of shock and blood loss before they even got close to getting her free. But a ray of light appeared quite literally and he heard a voice shout out. He responded back, and as they got closer he saw it was a paramedic with a bag and a small tank of oxygen. He worked hard to suppress his sigh of relief as he watched the paramedic slip the bag off and place the oxygen on her face. House grabbed a bag of lactated ringers and a large bore needle, and waited until the paramedic had her attention to swiftly insert the needle in to her artery. He tuned back in to the conversation as he heard his name mentioned "…Dr House… you are lucky, Hanna. He is a world class doctor; you couldn't find any one better to be here with." House knew the paramedic was trying to take her mind off the situation so he did what he could to play along. "Oh great another stalker," he looked down smirking at Hanna, "you wouldn't believe how many of them I have." He noted the morphine the paramedic was adding to the IV, "Ah he's giving you the good stuff. Don't worry Hanna, you will be feeling a lot less pain soon."
The paramedic gauged the situation and turned back to Hanna, "Hey Hanna, you mind if I borrow Dr House for a few minutes? I want to get his autograph."
House knew what the medic was going to say, but watched as she looked at them both, and nodded, the pain lines around her eyes decreasing slightly as the meds kicked in. He followed the medic, but motioned him a little farther knowing that voices seem to carry down toward her.
"She's stable for the moment but I think we need to amputate the leg. I don't know how stable this ceiling is, and the incident commander wants you out of here." the medic stated.
"No, I understand your concerns and the incident commander's as well, but she is my patient. I want to wait just a little longer on amputating. I will welcome your advice but she is my responsibility. I do want you to take my cell phone and press four on the speed dial, and tell Dr Chase that I need him here with the right equipment, just in case it comes to that." He was not ready to sacrifice her life for a leg, but he did want to try and give her every chance to keep from having her life that much more altered by this event. He turned and headed back to Hanna, effectively ending the conversation.
The paramedic was a little surprised at the lack of ego from this doctor who was reputed to have the biggest ego at the hospital if not the state. He'd also heard rumors about how far this doctor would go to save his patient's life. He said out loud, "Okay Dr House, I'll go call him and come back to help." He turned away and crawled his way back out.
When House got back to Hanna he asked, "You still awake Hanna, because its question time again. What's your name?"
"Hanna" her response was muffled by the oxygen mask over her mouth but sounded strong.
"Good, do you know where we are?" he asked while taking her pulse and using a penlight he found in the medic's bag to check her pupil response.
"Under the building I worked at." No hesitation. Good.
"And finally what year is it?" He asked has he took her blood pressure with the cuff from the bag, noting it was still low about seemed to be holding steady.
"2010" She said watching as he swapped out the first empty bag of fluids that was being pumped in to her.
"Good, you're doing great Hanna. You never did answer me about your family." He covered her with a thermal blanket to keep her warm.
"No, no husband or boyfriend."
"Oh a girlfriend perhaps, that would be kinda…hot," he responded back without thinking.
"Ha ha, no I don't swing that way, I've just been too busy. I did have a boyfriend in college that played lacrosse but I just haven't had time. If I get out of here, I'm going to make the time, life is too short."
"Speaking of getting out of here…" House reluctantly began, "I need to talk to you about amputating the leg…"
"NO! Please don't cut off my leg…I'm a runner. That's how I relieve stress. It's a huge part of my life…I'd rather die than lose my leg…" she hurried, eyes going wide. Panic.
"Hanna, shhhh Hanna, you gotta calm down. I know you want to keep your leg but the truth is we have no idea when or even if they will be able to remove the rubble…your leg isn't worth your life, trust me when I say you can live your life with an amputated leg. There have been amazing advances in prosthetics. You can still go running. I'm not saying we will have to, but the longer it takes the greater the risk. I will honor whatever choice you make, but I want to prepare you if it comes to it. Trust me, I won't amputate unless I absolutely have to, okay?" He was feeling emotionally exhausted between Cuddy acting strange around him and this patient's situation, plus losing the support of Wilson and cutting himself off from Dr Nolan. These changes where coming at him too fast. One or two he could handle, but not all at the same time.
"Okay, if you have to. I trust you Dr House. I know you will do the right thing." She said, her head starting to hurt again, and it was getting harder to keep her eyes open. She just wanted to sleep.
Time passed in silence. He checked her vitals again…they were starting to get worse. He changed the bag again; this was the last one they could risk. Any more and her blood would be too diluted to carry oxygen and support her body.
The paramedic came back with a portable spine board and a fireman carrying a big portable flood light. When he shined it on Hanna, it took every ounce of House's control to keep from outwardly reacting. She was extremely pale. He felt her skin…it was cold and clammy. Shock was setting in. Her eyes where starting to glaze over, signifying she was losing conciseness. "Hanna its question time again. What's your name?"
"Uhm… Han… Hanna, Hanna."
Oh no. "Okay, good, now do you know where you are?" He was working hard to keep his voice calm.
"I'm… I… work… I don't know, why can't I remember?" she was starting to panic again and her words where slurring.
"Shhh its okay. We're going to get you out of here. Just hang on a little bit longer." He turned to the paramedic and told him to get top side and get Dr Chase down here. The medic, having been around the hospital, would have a better chance of know what Chase looked like than the fireman. He turned and moved as fast as he could knowing just how grave the situation was. She was going into shock and was losing conciseness fast. If they didn't get her out of here soon, she would be dead.
The fireman just sat back and watched as House held her hand and talked softly to her. He knew that House had told the patient they would have to amputate the leg when she started crying. House just whispered soft comforting words to her and reassured her he was there, and would be there every step of the way.
It seemed like forever until he heard Chase's voice. It was followed immediately by a loud rumble, and reacting on instinct, House covered as much of Hanna as he could. A chunk of concrete glanced off his head and a sharp piece slice his neck dangerously close to the arteries. He heard Hanna scream but it was cut off mid-wail. Even before the shaking had stopped he was checking her over calling out to make sure everyone else was okay. When he got affirmative responses he told Chase to get over and start the amputation. She was unconscious and they had run out of time. He watched as Chase rushed over and placed a tourniquet on her thigh, then began the process of amputation. He felt the paramedic clean the blood way from his neck to get to the wound then binding it. House himself was busy trying to wake Hanna up. He stopped when Chase injected the nerve blocker in to her leg and started to cut her pant leg off; when he was about half-way through, House moved over and helped suture closed the veins and arteries they both cursed when fluid started coming out of the leg. House declined the pain meds the paramedic offered. His neck and side of his head did hurt, plus his leg was throbbing from kneeling so long, but he blocked it all out concentrated on Hanna. He didn't even hear when the fireman whispered to the paramedic about House comforting the patient before they got back, and how he had talked her in to giving permission to do this instead of just doing it, as was the reputation that House had built over the years. But Chase heard and even though he was concentrating on the job, he couldn't help but have a sad smile.
When House did all that he could do to help Chase with the amputation, he started to clean as much of the dirt and dust out of the wound and leg as he could. It wouldn't do much but he needed something to keep him busy. It was getting harder to ignore the pain in his leg and head. Once they had the job done, the four of them strapped her to the spine board as fast as they could. The clock was still ticking, and getting her free was only half the battle. The paramedic and the fireman started to move her as quickly and carefully as they could up and out of the hole. House and Chase used the floodlight to gather up all the equipment and followed them out.
When they reached the surface House asked, "Did you ride with Foreman?" when he saw Foreman there treating the wounded. Chase nodded. House started to take the equipment from Chase's hands and asked, "You know how to ride a motorcycle right?" Chase nodded again. "Good, here are my keys. Drive her back. You crash, you answer to me." His threat was without his usual bite. He was concentrating on getting to the ambulance, to Hanna. He had to ride with her, not that they would have been able to stop him if they tried. The ambulance was in motion even before he finished sitting down. He sat back and watched as the paramedic set to work hooking Hanna up to the equipment to monitor her vitals. Her blood pressure was dangerously low and pulse was weak. She had lost too much blood. They were hooking up a new bag of ringers when the heart monitor suddenly flat lined. House jumped into action, taking the endotracheal tube and laryngoscope to intubate as the paramedic injected epinephrine, while the fireman who had also rode along began chest compressions. Once House had the tube in and the bag attached, he started the pumping. The fireman and paramedic traded off doing chest compressions. House watched the clock; after almost 10 minutes, and another round of drugs, House called time of death. They were less then three miles from PPTH when the driver turned off the sirens and House pulled the sheet over her head. The paramedic and fireman watched as House sat down and all life seemed to drain out of him.
House stepped out of the back of the ambulance when it pulled in to the emergency entrance of PPTH and slowly limped his way to his office. He sat at his desk tried to process all the events of the last couple of days. The urge to grab the bottle of whisky sitting in his drawer didn't even enter his mind. He was just about to get up and go get clean when Cuddy came in to the room.
Cuddy had just gotten back a few minutes ago still angry at House. She spotted the empty coffee cup and the dull listless look on his face and assumed he'd come back early and gotten himself drunk…her rage boiled over, "I can't believe you have been here this whole time drinking! Its bad enough you had to follow me to the disaster site and stick your nose in and try to counter my orders, but then you come back here to drink. Did you leave that woman behind to come here and drown your sorrow?" Cuddy was beyond pissed. This week, in fact, this last couple of months had been hard on her too.
"I'm not drunk; I haven't had a drink in the last two days, and Hanna died in route…I was with her." House said solemnly. He was tired of getting attacked by her. He had been trying to let her go so she could move on, but all she wanted to do was attack him. "Why were we even there? You know doctors don't go on site. We wait for them to come to us. Tell me what good we did out there…I want to know…I need to know what good came of this!" His outburst was all he had left. He seemed to deflate and tried to move around her to go home and try to forget this ever happened.
"I wanted to go and help out to get away from this place…from you…for a while. But I can't go home because then I would just be reminded of my failed relationship with Lucas, and I couldn't stay here and continue to have you rub my nose in it. I can't believe I couldn't make it work with Lucas because of you. And you have the nerve to mock me by writing both our names in the extremely rare and valuable book of my great grandfathers, in pen, no less. Well I'm done with you and anyone that knows you. I don't love you. In fact I wish I had never even met you…" Cuddy all but screamed. She turned and threw the door open so hard it almost cracked the glass, and started down the hall towards the elevator, never once looking back to see a stunned House stumble over to his chair and fall into it.
Wilson had been packing up his stuff to head home for the night when he heard the shouting between both Cuddy and House from down the hall. He watched as Cuddy got in to the elevator never once seeing him. Wilson looked over and saw House sitting in his chair, his expression was worse then when Cuddy had brought House to his office the day they realized just how bad his hallucinations were. Wilson walked into House's office and gently placed a hand on his shoulder to silently make his presence known, "House, hey what's wrong?" It sounded slightly better then 'are you okay'…but not by much. He knew House wasn't ok.
"Cuddy…said she doesn't love me…she thinks I knew they had broken up and I… I had been mocking her for it. I went to the disaster site tonight and Hanna…I had to amputate her leg…but she still died, she never made it…I've got to go." He stood up, shaking off the hand on his shoulder, and limped out the door and toward the elevators.
It took Wilson a few seconds to process all that House had said, and by then he was already almost to the elevators. Wilson took a couple more seconds to decide on what to do. He knew he would have to get his stuff and follow House. He'd never be able to convince House to wait and Wilson knew that House should not be alone. Not tonight. It was too much for him. He ran to his office and grabbed his stuff but was stopped by one of the Oncology nurses that needed some papers signed. By the time he was done, House had long since gotten on the elevator.
Foreman, who had just returned from the site a few minutes ago, spotted House when he stepped out of the elevator. "House, it's not your fault…"
"I know, I did everything right and she still died…" He just wanted out and away from the hospital. He tried to step around Foreman, but he just moved in front of him. "Get out of my way." House growled at Foreman. But he stood his ground. House toyed with the idea of punching him but knew that Foreman knew how to defend himself. Instead he went the other route, "Please Eric, I can't stay here. I…can't stand being here right now."
That did the trick. Foreman saw the genuine need to get away even though he knew House was telling himself it was an act. Still, Foreman let him have his way, stepped aside, and watched House walk out the doors. He followed and watched House get in a cab and ride away. Less then a minute later the elevator ding caused Foreman to turn and watch Wilson hurriedly walk out.
Wilson looked around, and when he spotted Cuddy's office light still on, he decided he would talk to Cuddy, then go track down House. There was only a couple of places House would go.
Foreman heard the roar of House's motorcycle and turned back to watch Chase drive it into the lot and park it in House's spot. When Chase spotted Foreman in the door he rushed over and asked him where House and Wilson were. "House left in a cab about five minutes ago and Wilson just walked in to Cuddy's office."
Meanwhile, Cuddy stepped out of the elevator and decided she would finish some paperwork before going home. As the doors of her office closed behind her she seemed to deflate too. Tonight had been bad. Only one person had made it out of the rubble alive…Hanna and if what House had said was true, she hadn't even made it to the hospital. Thinking about it caused her to remember the deflated look on his face when he had told her. Something was wrong with him. It was then that she realized that he had not known she had broken up with Lucas. She was taking her stress and anger at herself and taking it out on him. He had been trying to let her go so she could be happy. She had temporarily forgotten how his brain works. All her attempts to regain the friendship she had lost with House were blocked by him because he couldn't just be friends with her. He loved her and had showed her time and again through his actions. It was like he always says everyone lies, but actions speak louder then words. Her heart ached when she realized just how far apart they had grown the last nine months, and most of it was her doing… (sigh). She knew even as she said those hateful words to him tonight that she didn't believe them. She hadn't stopped loving him after so many years and their lives are so intertwined she doesn't think she'd ever be done with him…not that she wanted to be. Despite his personality or maybe in part because of it, he enriched her life so much that when he was gone, especially during those dark months while he was in Mayfield, she'd realized just how much his presence meant to her. She would have to go and find him. Maybe then they could finally talk. She missed her friend. He had been withdrawn from her life lately, and while she understood it, it didn't stop the heartache when she dwelled on it for too long. It was about that time that Wilson barged in to her office. For about a half second she hoped it was House, but when she saw Wilson's angry face she realized he must have heard the argument between them. She couldn't help the sigh that slipped out.
"Cuddy…what…I can't believe the words I heard you say…he had no idea that you and Lucas had broken up. And even if he did, how could you believe that House would do something like that?" Wilson's anger at the situation causing him to pace back and forth in front of Cuddy's desk.
"Wilson…stop, I'm sorry. I didn't mean the words. They just slipped out. It's not like neither you nor House have ever said things you don't mean in anger. I, of course I'm not done with him. But he and I need some time to cool off. We won't get anywhere if we are both mad like this… (sigh)" Cuddy wasn't even mad any more…just tired, so very tired. And she could hear her mother's voice in her head 'words spoken in anger cause the deepest hurt' both she had House had proven that in their long history.
Wilson calmed down and sat in one of the chairs in front of the desk wanting to see what they could do about House when Chase came rushing in followed by Foreman. "We have gotta find House, he shouldn't be alone…I was leaving the site when the paramedic and the fireman that were with House and Hanna told me what happened. House took her death really hard. He got her permission to do the amputation and comforted her when he told her we had to do it. They said when he called time of death he seemed to just sink into himself. I'm afraid he might try to get his hands on some Vicodin or maybe worse…" Chase said hurriedly.
Cuddy took charge, standing up she immediately said, "Chase you and Foreman start searching every bar between here and his apartment. Wilson, go to the Condo and see if he went there. I will check his apartment. First person to find him calls the others so keep your cell phones handy." They were already heading out the door as she finished talking. She grabbed her briefcase and coat, turning off the light and locking the door behind her. She rushed to her car, praying that of all the places he could be, he wasn't at his apartment. Not that she didn't want to see him, but that was where he could do the most damage to himself.
She didn't even remember the drive to his apartment. When she arrived, she was almost relieved when she didn't see his bike until she remembered he drove it to the site and had ridden back in the ambulance. She parked in his spot and walked to his door. She knocked once then tried the doorknob; the fact that it was unlocked did not make her feel any better. The only light was in the bathroom. Her heart almost stopped when she saw him standing in front of what used to be his mirror. She saw one of his old pill bottles in his hand. It was dripping blood on the floor from the broken mirror; in his hand were two little white pills. She rushed in and knocked the pills out of his hand. Reaching down, she ripped the bottle out of the other and threw it across the room. "No House, please don't do it. You have come too far to quit now." The absolutely lost look on his face broke her heart.
House thought he had heard someone knock but didn't move until he heard Cuddy and saw her knock the pills out of his hands. He looked at her and not quite figuring out what was going on, he thought he was hallucinating already. He didn't recall taking any pills yet, but that was the only plausible reason she would be here trying to stop him from giving in. "Cuddy…you can't be here. You should be at home with your bastard child and the boy toy." House said without any bite. He didn't seem to care anymore…its not like she was really there.
"Oh no, House, you will not drive me away again. Not like last time. If you need something strong…you hold me…" she said as she stepped in front of him and wrapped her arms around him. She almost cried happy tears when she felt his arms come up and wrap around her. She felt him lean in to her. She did cry when he buried his nose into her hair drawing comfort in her scent.
They stayed like this for awhile before he finally said the words he thought would bring this dream to an end and him back to realty…where the hallucination would disappear, "I wish you where really here Cuddy, but if I have to settle for a hallucination, even if I don't remember taking any pills, I guess I'll take what I can get."
Cuddy expected House to believe this was a hallucination; even still, the broken voice he used to explain the situation like he was expecting it to end broke her heart even more. "House I'm not a hallucination. You don't remember taking any pills because you haven't. I'm really here…" She reluctantly moved out of his arms and picked up his bloody hand, turned on the water to rinse it. She found a pair of tweezers and picked out the few small pieces of glass she found in it, then wrapped it in a towel. She led him over to the toilet and sat him down.
He seemed to start coming back to her when he realized that it hurt when she removed the glass from his hand. He still remembered every detail of the last time he believed they where both in this bathroom, and he didn't hurt then. His rational brain took over and he finally realized she is really here.
She watched the light come back to his eyes knowing he was grasping the situation, she would have cheered but that was only half the battle. Now she would have to convince him that she did want to be here, and that she hadn't meant what she'd said at the hospital.
"Cuddy, you shouldn't be here…" he began.
Cuddy stepped in closer to him again. For both for his sake and hers, she put both hands under his jaw and lifted his chin so she could look him in the eyes, and began to say the words that she hoped would start the process to get them back to where they were more then a year ago "…no House, I am right where I should have been a year ago. Our relationship has survived so many things…and I can't, and won't, let our stubborn pride be what breaks us. I need you in my life. I lied at the hospital when I said I was done. I could never be done with you; we are too entwined in each other's worlds to ever fully be gone. I'm sorry I blamed you for my break up with Lucas. The truth is he and I would never have been long term because there is only room for one long term man in my life…and he's sitting in front of me. Don't hide your weakness from me. You showed it to me once. Well this time we are going to do it right." She pulled his face towards her, and he leaned in to her again. His arms came up to wrap around her and she was only slightly surprised to hear him quietly crying. But she was glad. That meant he was letting go of the burden and letting her back in to his life. She just rocked him gently and ran her fingers though his hair. They stayed like this for what seemed like an eternity. His tears dried up but he made no move to pull away, and neither did she.
That was how Wilson found them. When Cuddy didn't call, he waited about 10 minutes then drove over to House's apartment. He waited outside by Cuddy's car then called her cell but stopped after two rings when he heard, then saw it in the passenger seat of her car. He walked slowly in to the hall and grew worried at seeing the door ajar. He walked in and saw Cuddy comforting House. Stepping back out, he called Chase and Foreman to let them know that House was okay. He walked back in and saw that House was standing but still holding Cuddy, and she had him wrapped up just as tightly in her arms. He watched as they looked at each other and seemed to have a conversation with their eyes. They read each other's looks better then any married couple he'd ever seen. They seem to reach a decision when House stepped out of the bathroom looking at Wilson. He put his hand on Wilson's shoulder and whispered 'thank you' as he walked back to his bedroom.
Cuddy watched as House walked back to his room. He was packing a few days worth of clothes. She turned back to Wilson and said "I'm taking House home with me for a few days. Can you clean up the glass and pills? He didn't take any but it was close. He and I…we are going to talk. Don't worry about the holes in the wall or the broken mirror, we'll deal with it another day. We need some time together first. I'm going to take a few days. Can you watch the hospital for me?" When Wilson nodded, she smiled the first real smile she'd had in far too long and hugged him quickly, turned, and followed House back in to his bedroom.
Wilson watched for another moment then went to get the broom and dust pan; he knew it wouldn't take long to get the mess on the floor cleaned up. Then he wanted to head home. Seeing them made him miss Sam. The need to hold her was strong. He watched as they walked out of the front door, House carrying a duffel bag. They where standing much closer then they had in more then a year and they both seemed more relaxed. He finished cleaning; taking a little extra time to make sure he got all the Vicodin, and flushed them down the toilet. He threw both empty bottles away with the mirror shards and chunks of plaster. He walked out of the apartment making sure it was locked behind him. He could feel a smile on his face that hadn't been there in a long time…a genuine, happy smile.
