Mitchie says, "Good things come to those who wait," when I tell her about this awesome new songwriter who wants to work with us but won't be available for the next nine months.

I say, "I'm waiting. Nothing's happening. Still nothing." She shoots daggers at me and then storming out.

Ella says, "Don't let the cat out of the bag, Shane," When I find out about the surprise birthday party she's throwing for Jason.

I say, "I can't. My cat's dead. Mr. Tizzy-winkles meant the world to me, why would you say that?" She's unaware that I'm kidding, my mom's allergic to cats, and starts bawling.

My mom says, "You never forget your first love," In that dreamy, far-off way she uses when she talks about the first time she met my dad.

I say, "Actually, it's easy not to remember anything but the heartbreak," She glares at me and shoos me out of the kitchen.

Nate says, "Bless you," when I sneeze in Pizza-Hut.

I say, "Nothing happens to you when you die." And we practically fall to the floor laughing while Mitchie and Caitlyn stare at us like we have three heads. Apparently they aren't Dane Cook fans.

My dad says, "You're big and ugly enough to do it yourself," when I ask him to grab me a Gatorade during Bones last Thursday.

I say, "And you aren't?" He grounds me, thinking proudly to himself I missed the rest of David Boreanaz and Emily Deschanel. He doesn't realize my laptop has a TV tuner.

Caitlyn says, "There's no use crying over spilt milk," When Nate and I complain about how we look like huge SPEDs in the shot Teen magazine used this month.

I say, "What about milkshakes? HUH?" And then she needlessly gets up to leave, smacking Nate upside the head on her way. Okay, he might have said something along the lines of BOO-YAH.

Tess says, "Why can't beauty just be skin deep? I mean, like, do people want a cute appendix now?"

I say, "Why are you calling mine ugly?" She rolls her eyes and struts her way out of the cafeteria.

Jason says, "I'm bring sexy back," To Ella.

I say, "Yep."

That girl says, "Oh my god, Becky, look at her butt," in the Sir Mix-A-Lot video.

I say, "End of story."

AN: I know this is like the most random thing in the world, but it came into my head while IMing someone about Joe Jonas. So here it is.