I needed this idea out of my head.

...

She almost feels bad about hiding out in their room with the dog and their son, almost. But fuck, she had the night off and only had to check up on one patient tomorrow. The last thing she wanted to do was help her wife chaperone a sleep over she decided to have without informing Santana.

So yeah, Rachel is totally stuck with the eleven-to-thirteen year old girls blasting One Direction downstairs. It was her idea anyway.

And ok, she totally loves her wife for being that mom that schedules the events of a sleepover. Santana caught a glimpse of the itinerary before work that morning—when Rachel decided to inform her of the night's events—and she obviously put a lot of time into planning. Everyone was to come over at six, snacks at seven, spa at seven thirty, arts and crafts at eight thirty, late dinner at nine thirty, truth or dare and ten fifteen, then movie and more snacks until they crashed.

If she had gone to a sleepover this planned when she was eleven, she would have rolled her eyes and done whatever the hell she wanted to. This thought is what led her to feeling guilty about hiding out with Matthew. But honestly, the poor kid ran up to her when she got home from work and looked terrified at how many girls were in the house. He wasn't used to more than three, which is what he saw on a regular basis.

When she made her way into the kitchen, she kissed her wife on the cheek before greeting their daughter Olivia and waving to all her little friends who were currently stuffing their faces with cookies and pretzels.

She had to laugh at how overly excited Rachel looked but didn't cave when she asked for help with their spa activity. She hardly ever agrees to help Rachel paint her nails, much less a hormonal preteen. Doesn't matter if it's for her daughter. She was too young for that shit anyway.

Instead, she sat with her baby boy on the counter and they shared the dinner Rachel had made for her. Anytime a friend of Liv would walk near them, he would roar loudly and glare at them until they left.

He wasn't an asshole he was just scared. The two year old had been scarred when his sister had dressed him up and made him do girly things a year ago and has been such a guy's guy ever since. He always wears a superhero shirt, pants are always optional according to him, and has to have his Hulk action figure at all times. He doesn't form long sentences but when he speaks he puts on this deep voice and always looks pissed.

Rachel blames Santana for that.

From her cave upstairs, she hears Quinn's voice and knows Rachel probably called for back up. It's only then that she starts feeling guiltier. She knows Rachel is probably behind schedule because there was no way she was going to give eight girls a manicure, pedicure, hairdo and facial in an hour. She leans over the bed and ruffles Matt's curly hair before telling him she's going downstairs. And like, she knows her kid. He'll get bored in an hour and will try to climb down the stairs on his own so she sets up the gate Rachel insisted on getting when Liv learned to walk.

She feels pretty damn proud of herself when she enters the dinning room with her most prized nail polish collection and asks which girls still needed their nails done. Not toe nails though, 'cause feet are disgusting and she doesn't like touching them or seeing them or even talking about them.

The smile Rachel gives her makes sticking around these prepubescent girls worth it. Even though Quinn's bitch of a daughter made her redo her nails three times because she didn't like the color. Fucking c-bag.

She skips out on the arts and crafts because that shit is just lame and Matt's crying upstairs. She's calmed him down enough and talked him into watching the Avengers. When the DVD menu came on though, he heard Rachel calling the girls for dinner and he hopped off the bed so fast Santana barely caught him before his little foot tried going down the first step.

Kid fucking loved food.

Rachel thought he had an eating disorder because he straight up eats all day. He eats as much as Olivia does during dinner, some days he'll even eat her leftovers if she doesn't finish. Santana managed to calm Rachel down and just passed it off as him being a growing boy and tried to convince Rachel to be flattered he always wanted to eat her food.

He smiled up at her once she had him in her arms and his little hands grabbed both of her cheeks, planting a kiss right on her lips. He was fucking adorable.

As soon as they walk into the kitchen, he snatched the cucumbers Rachel laid out for the girls' eyes and ate them. Olivia was about to pitch a fit but he walked over to her and climbed on her lap before she could protest and gave her a wet kiss on the cheek. She's pretty sure he picked that up from her because she always kisses Rachel's cheek like that when she knows the shorter girl is pissed.

Works every time, too.

Rachel looks at Matt like a worried mom when he moves on to his third slice of pizza until Quinn tells her Lucas is eating just as much, if not more. And like, he was cute too, but he's nothing compared to Matt.

Once the girls done eating and talking about the boys they think are cute, Liv's loud friend Ashley says she's getting bored and truth or dare starts before Santana can get out of the living room. She's trapped between Rachel and Ashley and she isn't really sure how she can maneuver her way out of the circle.

Matt is happily playing with his cars with Quinn and the kitchen was clean. Fuck.

She's still trying to think of an easy way out when her turn is up and like, dare. Duh.

She grabs one of the papers out of the hat of dares Rachel wrote and she already knows it's going to be lame. "Call your mom and sing her your favorite song."

Seriously, Rachel?

The last time she played truth or dare she had to run around her block twice, naked, with a mustache painted on her face and lick me written on her abs.

Puck was a douche bag but he knew how to have fun. And she wasn't expecting Rachel to make any of these girls do something that gross or perverted, but it could have been slightly more embarrassing.

Her mom answers the phone sounding worried as all hell, but then she gets pissed and starts cussing in Spanish when she starts to sing a Shakira song she knows her mom hates. Its in Spanish and she can tell its turning Rachel on, but she has to stop and calm her mom down because she's on speaker and Olivia knows enough Spanish to know her grandma just told her mom to fuck off and stop being a spoiled brat.

…

By the time five am rolls around, Matt is passed out on the dog and Rachel can barely keep her eyes open. Six of the eight girls are still wired and they keep on sneaking eating peanut butter and jelly sandwiches into Liv's room.

Quinn left once it struck midnight and Rachel can't even keep her eyes open through the Friends re-runs Santana loves watching.

And Santana isn't a bitch. She knows Rachel woke up when she did to start baking but she's not used to long hours and kids. She, on the other hand, is used to it. She's worked a full day packed with surgeries and then came home to host a brunch Rachel was hell bent on having once their backyard was done. She did everything with a huge smile on her face and only two bitchy comments directed at Kurt for telling her she looked tired.

So yeah, she told Rachel to go to bed and that she'd wrap things up and like, wait for them to crash from their sugar high or something.

It wouldn't take long. They hadn't danced yet and if Santana got them to do that she was sure they would pass out thirty minutes into it.

She brought out her old Beyoncé inspired mix CD she used for go to dance parties and called the girls to the family room. She even set up the karaoke machine just in case they wanted to damage her eardrums and eyesight in one night.

They all passed out within an hour and she was pissed they all fell asleep during her kick ass version of Adele's Crazy for You, bitches didn't know what they missed out on. She didn't bother moving them all to comfortable surfaces. Sleepovers weren't about comfort, they were about being too tired from having too much fun—or being completely shitfaced—a comfortable sleeping surface wasn't necessary.

Santana sleeps on the couch because it's probably the smartest thing to do. If she sleeps on her bed she probably won't wake up for twelve hours and Rachel will need help making breakfast because while the girl can cook, she never mastered breakfast foods and that's usually Santana's job anyway.

And like, she got two hours in before Matt jumped on her stomach and started poking her cheeks. "Babe! Up!"

He calls her mommy when he feels like it, but he picked up on Rachel always calling her babe and it just stuck. She doesn't love it, but she isn't about to get mad at him and confuse him on why his momma and call her that but not him. That's just complicated.

She set his chair up in the kitchen so he can "talk" to her while she cooks and Rachel tries to wake the girls up. And like, bacon is probably the most fatty food ever but Matt loves it and she isn't going to deprive him. So yeah, Rachel gets pissed off when she walks into the kitchen and sees Santana sneaking him a third piece, but whatever. Her kid is smiling and that's all that really matters.

Rachel doesn't look as pissed as she did when Santana sings along to the radio and sends a wink her way. She knows her wife well enough to know what's gonna to get her off the hook.

By the time all of the girls are up, the table is full of eggs, bacon, pancakes and cinnamon rolls—she's awesome, she knows. And she's also domesticated as fuck, but it's not as bad as people make it out to be. She loves being a mom and being married to Rachel makes everything a million times easier because they love each other and work well as a team.

She's on her fourth cup of coffee but ever since med school the stuff basically has the same effect on her as water does so she's tired as fuck and she's basically falling asleep while standing. Rachel notices and relieves her from her duties after a quick 'thank you' kiss and takes Matt from her arms.

Olivia runs up to her and hugs her waist, "Thanks mom. Love you." She messes up her daughter's already messy hair before dropping a kiss to her top of her head and telling her she obviously loves her more. She runs back into the kitchen and shouts a goodnight over her shoulder.

The dog runs after her and she lets him sleep on the bed too because he's cute and Rachel doesn't let him when she's around.

It takes her a while to finally doze off because the preteens are loud as fuck and they can't seem to shut up for like, a minute. But right before she's about to pass out, Rachel comes into the room and lays down a sleeping Matt right in front of her.

She feels him curl up by her side and the dog shifts from its position by her feet. Her body is too tired to move or even acknowledge Rachel's presence but she manages a grunt when she hears Rachel tell her she loves her and that she's an amazing wife.

And fuck, she loves her family so damn much.