Raydor and the Potater'
My first published fanfic. Please enjoy, and don't be too harsh! . I've never put my writing out there for anyone to read before!
Forgive me, this is definitely a crackfic.
Lunch time: a daily routine for normal human beings. Some choose to eat light and quick, while others ... find themselves deeply saturated in the interest of every meal.
The L.A.P.D. cafeteria was scheduled to be producing a highly greasy meal today, one that many officers were waiting in a long lunch line for. Such a crowd in the building was only common to see when it was common knowledge that the serving of the day was a delicious one. Almost everyone in the building would be standing patiently to eventually recieve the juicy tater tots, the whole spuds, and the beloved mashed potatos and gravy. Everyone awaited each day of the month where lunch time was like this.
Except Captain Sharon Raydor.
Darth Raydor herself refused to partake in the feasting of a highly-carbed food, one that might ruin how glamorous and young she looked. Between her appearance and her favorite salad dish she packed every morning, her usual habits weren't exactly getting her anywhere in the romance department of her life, as well as sitting in her office during her lunch hour allowed her time to catch up on all her overdue paperwork that Internal Affairs could bust her door down for not turning in on time. Ironic.
At the thought of her love life, she realized her fabulousness didn't do her any good in attracting Lieutenant Andy Flynn's attention, not that Sharon was all that interested in dating someone lower than her in the chain of command in the police department. Her husband had shown up again, obviously after something more than some fun in her bed. The only other occurrence of anyone showing sexual interest was that fifteen year old boy that was involved in the case with the victim who was transgendered from a week ago. That memory of that girl and the tragedy brought some nausea to her stomach. Sharon decided to keep her mind off of it and focus on work.
A large pile of paperwork had found its way into the drawer where Brenda used to keep her candy stash. Pulling the drawer open with her left hand, she held herself up with her right hand on top of the desk. In a few moments, she couldn't understand why she had let this drawer of papers get so heavy and full.
"What have I done?", Sharon wondered about her neglegance to the order of her desk and job materials. One long sigh, and then to her work went her mind.
After taking out the first few files on the top of the pile, her first instinct was to reach for her reading glasses, that normally fit into the auburn magical hair above her head or somewhere nearby in a pocket, but for some reason, they were missing from her office completely.
Never fear! Darth Raydor is on the case!
Upon entering the office area of the Major Crimes department, she first thought to look to see if anyone in the room might have noticed where she misplaced her glasses. With everyone off to lunch, the only two people still in the room were Rusty and Buzz, whom were deep into his homework, studies, and learning.
"Have you seen my glasses?", the motherly figure interrupted, causing Rusty to take the opportunity in hand.
"Uhm, not recently ..." Rusty paused for a moment, taking a short moment to think, while Buzz gave him a strange look. "But I think one of the Lieutenants said he saw you drop them, picked them up, and would give them to you after lunch!" Rusty jumped out of his chair and flew a hand up in the air as if he were a mad scientist or something. Sharon blew it off.
"You wouldn't happen to remember which lieutenant it was, would you? I need to finish off a lot of paperwork soon." The concern in her voice sounded more like Captain Raydor than Sharon.
"Sorry, I can't remember." Rusty shrugged his shoulders and waited for her to leave.
"Thanks anyway, Rusty." Carefully, she smiled, then turned and walked away. Sharon decided not to interrupt his important education for the moment.
Buzz raised an eyebrow in suspicion, as if he knew something suspicious was going on. "Rusty, what was that about?" He put the pencil down and shut the book next to it, waiting for his boss to leave earshot of their conversation.
"It's nothing important", Rusty shook off.
"Ha, no." The man sitting in front of him with brown-spiky hair and a flanel shirt smirked sheepishly at the teen boy, knowing that there was more than met the eye with the story in front of him. "What's the deal?"
"Can't tell you, Provenza will kill me", Rusty used as a lack of reason.
"Rusty, that's a really poor excuse. I've been working in this department with criminals, who lie better than that, longer than you've been studying high school Algebra." With that Check mate, the young blonde boy's expression broke into a cute little fear. "Now tell me, what is going on."
Ashamed, Rusty pulled Sharon's glasses out of his bag, and jokingly, to lighten up the mood, put them on his own nose and began making faces.
"Why do you have the Captain's glasses? She just asked for them!"
"Don't yell! She might hear you!" He quickly and carefully placed them back in his backpack, making sure no one else had witnessed what he did. "Its part of some plan Provenza is doing to get her to go to the cafeteria for lunch for some reason, I don't know why or what for, but I just know I got promised fifty bucks and free access to the really nice printer when I need it for school reports and papers!"
All Buzz could do to that response was facepalm, and dream about being somewhere else, and continue to tutor the young and troubled boy ...
Heading for the elevator, the Captain ran into Lieutenant Sanchez, making a failed attempt to hit on D.D.A. Rios, whom was looking a little "too" classy for her own good today. Something seemed escew about the sight of the arrogant lawyer on this particular occassion. Emma seemed to be extremely resistant towards Julio's flattery today for some reason, as if she were in a hurry. Sharon really didn't want to get involved, and rushed through them as quick and politely as possible.
"Excuse me", Sharon pardoned.
"No problem, mam", Detective Sanchez greeted with charm and a head nod, smiling brightly, despite his current brawl with Rios.
Rolling her eyes with fake glamour, Emma muttered "Captain" with a lack of spirit in the tone of her throat.
Walking away from the scene, the wonderful Captain in her black pencil skirt and white blouse of ultimate style without turning back once to look, commented in a sassy voice, "Good to see your mug-shot face too, Rios!" Sharon regretted that she lacked the time to stop and see the shock and anger on the D.A.'s face. She swore she heard a small chuckle come from Sanchez.
Wanting to avoid the star-crossed lover quarrel any further, Sharon eagerly attempted to get into an elevator, as far away from them, as possible.
To her demise, busting into the elevator doors only flooded a scent into her nostrils of a familiar vegetable, one that made her stomach growl and moan like a tiger's thunder. It was in that moment, she knew she was starving for one lucky Potato, and would give up all hopes of finding her glasses.